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Original poster

6th form and friendship

19 replies

Laburnam · 13/04/2021 08:31

My DD is due to start in September most of her friends are leaving and the one girl that is in her group that is staying on she isn’t close to.
She is now saying she doesn’t want to stay on so am just curious on how your children have found forging new friendships in sixth form.

OP posts:

MaryBoBary · 13/04/2021 08:32

It is the beginning of getting used to meeting new people and making new friends. First 6th form, then uni or work. Your DD needs to get used to it IMO.

MrsBertBibby · 13/04/2021 08:34

My son's friendship group has exploded since moving to sixth form college. But that doesn't mean hers would.

What would your daughter do if she didn't stay? Where are her friends going?

needadvice54321 · 13/04/2021 08:36

@MaryBoBary

It is the beginning of getting used to meeting new people and making new friends. First 6th form, then uni or work. Your DD needs to get used to it IMO.

I agree with this, it'll possibly be tough moving onto sixth form without friends, but she is going to have to get used to it

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CompleteBarstool · 13/04/2021 08:39

Rather than go to the school 6th form or local college like all his friends DS opted to go to one further away as they offered a specific course and have amazing facilities.

He didn't know a single person going there and isn't an outgoing person at all so I did wonder if it was the right decision.

After the first week he did come home feeling really down and said he thought he'd made the wrong decision, that nobody on his course was his sort of person etc.

I really felt for him and could have cried. We reassured him that we'd support him, whatever he decided to do encouraged him to give it a bit longer (it didn't help that this was last Sept so Covid affected their bonding as a group).

Anyway , despite the blip, he stayed and soon realised that everyone was in the same boat, having to make new friends etc . He's made some great new friends (but still has his old school friends too) and loves it.

Original poster

Laburnam · 13/04/2021 08:41

Yes I have told her she will have to make new friends but the girls at her school have kind of had established groups since year 7 so hopefully with the new influx of students she will be ok.
Her friends are going to college

OP posts:

MrsBertBibby · 13/04/2021 08:43

Could she go to college instead? She can't just stay home!

Original poster

Laburnam · 13/04/2021 09:54

She won’t be staying at home she hasn’t said she isn’t going to 6th form just not keen now.
I have found another 6th form that is doing her subjects am thinking of contacting them but not sure of procedure if you have already accepted a place.
I’m hoping she will feel differently once she gets into it and it’s just a bit of nerves which is normal

OP posts:

needadvice54321 · 13/04/2021 10:01

Is she not keen on the college?

DelurkingAJ · 13/04/2021 10:05

I went to a completely different sixth form where I knew nobody. I cried for the first two weeks. By half term I had fledgling friendships and I then had some of the best two years of my life an made many friends I’m still close to more than 20 years later!

Original poster

Laburnam · 13/04/2021 10:11

They don’t do her subjects at 6th form college

OP posts:

EduCated · 13/04/2021 10:16

@Laburnam

It’s likely that some of those other established groups will be in the same position of some moving elsewhere, others staying behind.

Sixth form is generally a bit of a shake up regardless, as with dropping to 3/4 subjects you start to spend your time with different sets of people, and obviously you tend to get new people in too.

My younger sister is currently in Y13 at the school she’s been at since Y7, and even with her friends all having stayed on, she spends most her time with a completely different crowd now to in Y11.

UniversitySerf · 13/04/2021 10:26

DS decided to take his A levels at a sixth form college instead of school. It really suited him. He had to commute 25 miles on the train instead of walking 5 minutes. He also got a job at the same time. I think for him he wanted to pull away from being a school boy.

His best mates are from cadets, He still remains friendly with his friendship group from school but he grew apart from them. The school group were all lads but the cadet group was mixed and they were more his type of people. I suppose they had all got together with a shared interest. So he was friendly with some of the new college people but he found his real tribe through his cadet group.

The transition from child to young adult is more stressful than any toddler tantrum to deal with.

You may be projecting some of your own fears and looking back at your own teen years. I was worried like this as was an absolute bookish nerd at school I didn’t like other children much and preferred the company of adults, DH was also a bit like this. We were sort of born middle aged:) DS very much fits in with his contemporaries. My fears were becuse I was looking back to my own teens. I found my tribe, other nerds that worked in higher education.

aibutohavethisusername · 13/04/2021 14:33

My DD is in her first year of Uni. She went to a sixth form college two train journeys away and made a whole new lovely group of friends.

HugeAckmansWife · 13/04/2021 16:16

This happened to me. I stayed on but my best friends didn't. I found the e first half term a bit lonely and 'Billy no mates' but then as we all eased into out A level classes I found myself very good friends about a dozen, mostly male, who had always been there, just never in my class or set. Same kind of thing happened at Uni. Really hard to leave that bunch of 6th form friends and it took a term but I got there

Original poster

Laburnam · 13/04/2021 16:21

Thank you for all your replies, I loved 6th form, best school years of my life and I’m sure she will readjust to the change after a few weeks

OP posts:

Selkiesarereal · 13/04/2021 16:25

I was in a similar position and was quite quiet in those days and I have to say that it was the making of me.

Suddenly I was with a bunch of nearly adults, all the disruptive kids had left so it was those who actually wanted to learn and not mess about.

At first it was a bit difficult settling in but I soon found a group and despite us all taking very separate paths at university, still after all these years meet up on a regular basis.

It really gave me the confidence for leaving home and going to university.

EmmaStone · 13/04/2021 16:28

I stayed on at school for Sixth Form and completely changed my friendship group (small school). Still good friends with that group now 30 years on.

My DD is leaving her small school for another one for Sixth Form in September, I'm a bit anxious as she's not brilliant at opening up to new friendships (she's not really made great friends at this school that she joined for Y7), but we've talked a bit about being open to opportunities and using it as a stepping stone to the Uni experience, and she's made the right noises about throwing herself into it.

Original poster

Laburnam · 13/04/2021 17:03

Good luck sure she will be fine

OP posts:

PerhapsInchyraBlue · 13/04/2021 17:09

It will depend both on your DD and her willingness to make new friends and how many new people join the sixth form. In our experience;-
DD1 - stayed at school sixth form, all her friends went to college, made a small number of new friends and has kept in touch with a couple at uni.
DD2 - stayed at school sixth form as did all her friends who she has known since playgroup/infants. All still close and out at the pub as we speak.
DD3 - went to a different school for sixth form and has made new friends, but is generally not one for lots of close friendships.

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