Double barrelling mine and DH’s name - hyphenate or not?

[munchymoo]

DH and I married 10 years ago and I took his surname. Regretted it ever since - it’s not a great name plus I really miss my name and a sense of my identity.

If just us, I’d change back to my name but we now have 3 DC, all still very little so easy to change names without them being too fussed.

I’m not mad about the idea of children having different surname to me so am considering double barrelling and we all have same name. DH not keen but I’m not happy as it is and something needs to change.

If we double barrel, do we hyphenate or not? The 2 names don’t sound amazing together, but if we don’t hyphenate doesn’t the first name just become a middle name? Eg Sarah Smith Jones is still effectively Sarah Smith? As opposed to Sarah Smith-Jones when both names are automatically used?

Sorry above should say Sarah Smith Jones is basically Sarah Jones if hyphen not used

I have double barrelled with no hyphen. Its a pain in the arse.

Half of my accounts won't let me use both parts of the name as they don't accept a space as a character, so I end up being Mrs Ruffalocrumble on credit cards etc. Other times they will use one or the other, so eg the doctors have me down as Mrs Crumble, the Pharmacy have me down as Mrs Ruffalo, so they can never find my prescription, no matter how many times I ask them to amend it.

At the DCs school one of them has a hyphen in their name on their official paperwork, the other doesn't, so when signing in to online accounts etc I have to try and remember which is which (as apparently school can't/won't change it)

It doesn't help that our first surname can also be unisex Christian name, so people think it's just a middle name. The DCs have basically picked a half each, so one is Crumble and one is Ruffalo now!

Just pick the name you like and stick to it, or if you go for DB then definitely add a hyphen so its obvious that they're both surnames.

Yes, need to use a hyphen or lots of systems won't 'accept' it as one name, and the first surname will either not be used / be used as a middle name.