Social anxiety has become worse during covid

[hippychick11]

I have suffered with social anxiety pretty much since I was a teenager which partly resulted from school bullying. It got to the point where I became afraid to even leave the house, however I got through it pretty much on my own eventually and for a while became quite a happy confident person who loved people and being social.

However things gradually got worse again after I was in an emotionally abusive relationship which almost destroyed me and it also left me quite isolated. Things had been reasonably ok prior to covid-I was attending a weekly support group and was out and about all the time. I have noticed things getting worse to the point where I even feel shaky talking to loved ones and I find talking on the phone or on zoom is enough to send me into a full blown panic attack.

I have the chance of a job at the opposite end of the country. I know someone who runs an animal shelter and she desperately needs full time help with housekeeping and also the animals. I have done this work before and it was amazing and not even like a job. I wouldn't be earning much but would be living there so would not be paying out rent. I'm determined not to let my anxiety ruin this for me, but it's hard when I seem to be the one self sabotaging all the time.

I see a wonderful therapist, but again it's all been over the phone the past year. He thinks I have made wonderful progress, but my self esteem is so low that I am unable to see it.

I'm in my 30's now and know I can overcome this again as I did it when I was much younger, but I feel incredibly stuck. Anyone else here deal with this or have any tips on how to overcome it?

First time posting on here so apologies if I ramble! I suffered with social anxiety throughout my 20s. I was better through my 30s, had a partner, stable job. Now I am 47, back to being on my own and trying to find ways to increase my social circle. I am not good in group situations so the 'just join a club, get a hobby' has always been difficult for me. I struggle with very low self esteem and can't even face being on social media, anything based on posting a photo of myself gives me the shivers!

The job with animals sounds amazing, I am sure if you are able to continue therapy along side the job then that will help. Also interested how you found the support group?

@Pep12per I relate so well to what you wrote. I too find joining clubs can be difficult. On the surface I can appear sociable, but due to trauma the past few years I tend to shy away from things and find that my world has just become smaller. Some horrific things happened in the past couple of years and I guess I isolated as a way of protecting myself,which hasn't really served me at all. I relate so well to you having low self esteem. It's a really really difficult thing to struggle with. All we can do is try to be kind to ourselves as much as we can and to offer the same kindness to ourselves as I know we would give to others.

The support group I was attending was great and I found that it helped me a lot as aside from the group, sometimes we would meet outside of the group for walks or in a coffee shop and I felt relaxed as the others dealt with anxiety aswell. Are there any support groups close to where you live? I know that sometimes some of them can be better than others x

Sorry to hear you have been through horrific times. Yes it's very easy to make your world small to protect yourself but then feels so huge to go the other way!

I hope things aren't too bad for you this evening. How often do you speak to your therapist? Do they give you techniques to help you feel ok outside of sessions? I expect things feel a bit overwhelming sometimes.

Yes so true. It can be incredibly overwhelming to try to be with others sometimes. I have tried to start small and even get out of the house for a short while everyday.

At the moment I speak to therapist every Thursday. It has been a great support to me but I miss in person therapy because I find talking on the phone makes me even more anxious. My therapist has suggested just trying to get out even for exercise each day and also trying to be a better friend to myself, he said that often when people deal with trauma, it can be easy to be our own worst enemy at times

You are welcome to pm me for chatting if you need to!