Fed up of living in a small house with my "funny" DH how to cope

[StormyLovesOdd]

This is kind of light hearted. I've been with my DH 30 odd years and heard all his jokes a million times. We're now both stuck in the house ALL the time as we're working from home and he's seriously driving me insane.

Tonight I had a awful pounding headache and even though I asked him (repeatedly) to stop he was doing his comedy dance routines right in front of the TV to make me laugh. I just wanted to be quiet and watch TV. Why doesn't he get this. It's not a one off, this kind of thing is a daily recurrence. It's like living with Benny Hill (yes I'm old)and grumpy . I don't know how much more of this I can take

He sounds like a knob, trying to make your teen laugh, why can’t he leave people alone?
I’d guess his workmates can’t stand him either, I’d be very blunt and tell him how annoying and pathetic his behaviour is and to grow up.

@StormyLovesOdd

I did start videoing him this afternoon when he was twerking, and threatened to post it on Facebook if he didn't stop, it didn't work.

That's made me chuckle. Threatened with a twerking video.

Yes it sounds a bit tiresome but there are worse things in a marriage than your other half wanting to make u laugh?! Maybe you could lighten up a bit and have a time out when it becomes too constant... It sounds when he goes back to work things will be better

He sounds like serious hard work. My teens would be mortified, and are regularly whenever we even sing a song on the radio much less twerk?!

Some space away from home for you op. A break. Drink with a friend? Time to leave the house and twerking for a rest. No wonder you have a pounding headache.

He sounds unbelievably tiresome. Have you honestly sat him down and explained that he’s annoying you?

Haha everyone else in his office has probably been back for months . . . psst, don't tell Steve!

That would wear thin after a short while alright. In most circumstances I would say leave it and put in boundaries before you reach your tolerance levels but with your DP I would at least try to have a very sensitive chat about how his behaviour makes you feel. Being honest I would say he irritates more than you, there is only so much of that behaviour we can put up with from people we love, people we don’t love and our tolerance drops right down.

Am I the only one that thinks he sounds hilarious and sweet? The twerking has made me giggle

I've always felt a bit sad that my dh is not remotely funny and never done anything to make me laugh. You've cured me 😁

My dad is like this. When I lived at home until I was 20, he used to burst into my room dancing and singing all the time.

Didn’t like being alone, always wanted me to hang out with him and he’d be telling jokes, dancing and laughing all the time. I’m a massive introvert so it was way too much for me. I ended up moving out

I used to ignore him but it didn’t work. Go
Upstairs and get a lock for whatever room your in. If you have room in the garden, get yourself one of those cabin things where you can go for some peace.

Is he Neil Morrisey?

I expect he's struggling with lockdown too- he sounds like an extrovert who's getting desperate!

Try a chat where you point out that both of you are struggling with lockdown, he needs more attention and you need more space and peace. Maybe your DS needs his dad's daftness, too!

Get yourself a chair that swivels away and some headphones, so you can watch tv on your own screen.

Its difficult, my dh tells me hilarious stories about workmates. Except theyre not funny. But i love him so i usually laugh. As you say OP, you can soon go into the garden with a book and hopefully get back to work.

Some PP are a bit harsh on him. He's clearly got a lot of energy and he's trying to do something positive.
Going a bit deeper, maybe he is one of those people who find it excruciating to see someone else (you or the teenage DD) sad or in pain. Some people simply can't take it.
He needs to work on it, to allow people to have their feelings, even if it hurts and he can't make it better for them.

That sounds exhausting. I couldn’t handle that level of intrusion. I bet his colleagues don’t really find him that funny. I’ve known people who joke the whole time and it’s so tiring. There’s this heaviness around being with them and being expected to laugh all the time. It’s quite a dominating way of being in a strange way.

Is this him?.....

Thank you everyone. DH honestly is a nice person though yes he is a bit David Brent at times 😂. I think the poster that said he probably hated seeing me and our teen sad was right, he is funny (in small doses) and once I laugh at something he's done he does it to death to cheer me up. DH is one of those people that always wants to fix everything and he doesn't get that sometimes I just want to be quiet and left alone.

We've had a light talk about it this morning and we've agreed on a safe word, "for god sake stop" 😂. He admitted he's missing his mates, work and the pub and promised to ease up a bit. Wish me luck

Timmy 😂😂😂 DH is more of a overweight and balding Nick Knowles.

Sounds good. I do think there’s a lot to be said for now some people really can’t bear not being able to fix someone. I had to have the same conversation once. As in, please don’t try to make me better coz it just feels like pressure. When I’m down or ill, I need this and this. So hopefully it’ll help.

You know what, he sounds lovely, yes, he's a bit of a prat, but he's listened, you've agreed a way forward and more importantly, he's admitted what he's missing is the workplace and social interaction.

I've felt the same towards my kids working from home in the pandemic, I just get to a certain time in the evening and nothing's funny anymore, and they are just too loud, too silly and so on. I know it's me so I remove myself, go upstairs and watch my own shows.

He doesn't sound attention seeking, just like pandemic life is all too much for you and he's prepared to listen going forward, hopefully the pubs and his work will be open again soon as an outlet for his outgoingness!

My first thought was ask him once politely to stop, then if he doesn't, leave the room, every time. If he realises just how bothered you are, and stops or at least tones it down, he's trying/listening, all well and good.

If he still doesn't stop after you've had to go and sit in another room, just to get some peace a few times, then he's never going to change, and you're maybe fundamentally incompatible? I couldn't live with a wind up merchant (and all the "look at me!" crap). He sounds like my 8 year old, only I can send my him to his room, when he tries to "poke the bear" for the craic.

Just noticed your update op, I'm glad he listened!

I'm imagining Des Kaye off Little Britain now. Wicky woo!

It sounds like you are the one with the issue, not him. You are feeling unfulfilled right now and he is making you feel worse.

Glad you've found a safe word.

I know a couple of men like this. Both are good fun but I couldn't bear to live with it. In short bursts they are fine. I was pleased to read your update :)