I think I am depressed and not sure how to get out of it.

[depress]

Ive slowly fallen into what is probably depression over the last 6m. I'm not sure what's triggered it but I lost my father and changed jobs both at the same time towards the end of last year which hasn't helped.

I'm feeling really low, really tired and just don't care about anything. I've let myself go, not looking after myself properly, not looking after the kids properly - I don't have the motivation to cook and so we're eating alot of frozen food and quick meal pasta stuff, I didn't pay attention to the homeschooling when it was lockdown, Im not playing with them, I'm being a shit mother. I'm letting them down.

I feel like just curling up into a ball and just staying in my room all day. I don't have the energy to even do the simplest of things. Even thinking is hard work. All the things I would have enjoyed don't mean anything anymore. I don't know how I've even functioned at work. Im exhausted even wfh.

I have a DH - he is a key worker so is out of the house most of the time but he does all the housework and ironing which if he wasn't there to do it, the house would be a total mess.

I've lost all motivation and have no drive to do anything. I am ashamed to say that I haven't showered in days and this afternoon I got into the shower and just cried. This isn't me. I want my life back. My kids want their mum back.

How do I get my motivation back, I tried with doing one small thing like having a shower and I did feel better but the feeling was soon gone and I was back into my dark cloud.

Please- how do I get out of this?

Hi OP,

Go to your GP and tell them everything you have written here. You may need some medication to get you through this fog and then once you’re feeling better, you can make a long term plan such as therapy, etc.

I’ve been where you are and the first step is the hardest but it will get better.

Sending you best wishes and un-Mumsnetty hugs.

Call you doctor
Tell your partner
Tell your closest friends/sibling

I'd start with one of the above.
You are not on your own feeling like this, and you won't always feel like this OP.
A bit of help, even taking the first step in telling someone (like you've told us) can start lifting the weight off your shoulders. There are lots of different approaches: medication, mindfulness, exercise, counseling etc etc, you'll find a way x

Make an appointment to see your gp. I don't think this is something you can get over on your own. The weather will help, as we get more sunshine. Music helps.

Depression is an illness. You’ve been ill for 6 months so it’s definitely time to see your GP.

Please don't underestimate the impact of grieving your father. This took me by surprise when my father died - I too experienced a phase of depression, hopelessness, no joy in anything, and first did not make the connection. It was pretty awful to be honest.
I'm sure the current circumstances with less regular social contact/ structure are not helping you either.
I hope you find good support along the lines others have mentioned.