Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Moving house compromises

59 replies

JackieTheFart · 11/04/2021 17:16

We've agreed a sale on our house and are trying to find somewhere to move to. We're pretty central in terms of the city, so although we'd ideally like 4 beds and garden, basically there's nothing available in this area.

So, imagine you have 3 children, 12 year old twins, 9 year old - all boys - twins currently sharing. Small yard but a park over the road, secondary and primary schools within easy walking distance as is work and shopping, although work not a problem as mainly WFH.

What would you compromise on?

3 beds plus garden?
4 beds no garden?
Move out of the area so kids either have to move schools or get a 45 minute bus ride?

Husband and I disagree on a house we have viewed (I'll share after a few responses so as not to sway results!). It's only been 2 weeks (tomorrow!) since our house even went on the market, but things are moving FAST in this area.

So. What would you do?

OP posts:
BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 11/04/2021 17:19

Stay in the area they know/their schools. Then get the best you can afford there.

I'd not uproot teens.

Is there a reason you are selling?

BluebellsGreenbells · 11/04/2021 17:21

4 beds over 3 makes life so much easier and I have twins and a single. They don’t use the garden.

JackieTheFart · 11/04/2021 17:22

We've just outgrown the house. It's a small terrace.

We do want the best in our budget round here - but that's either 3 bed plus garden or 4 bed no garden. Which is better?

OP posts:

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

JackieTheFart · 11/04/2021 17:22

@BluebellsGreenbells you're the perfect person to respond Grin

OP posts:
BadlydoneHelen · 11/04/2021 17:23

Literally no garden or a small yard type area?

JackieTheFart · 11/04/2021 17:25

Small yard. We saw one yesterday which we liked a lot, had a small - but very nice - flagstoned yard.

I don't mind it, I never used our huge garden much as a kid, but I'm being seduced by the idea of a trampoline Blush

Writing it down makes me wonder why I'm hellbent on a garden when it's been 13 years without and we haven't missed it (double Blush)

OP posts:
BrieAndChilli · 11/04/2021 17:26

I have 3 kids - 10,12 and 14.
They hardly use the garden anymore, prefer to go to the park or hide away in thier rooms!
We moved from 3 bed to 4 bed so the boys could have thier own rooms and I think it was definitely the right thing to do.
But we also have a garden so we didn’t have to make that compromise.

Kezzie200 · 11/04/2021 17:28

I think it depends.

Literally no garden? Go for 3 bed with some outside space. Then see if you can find one with an extra reception room so you have an extra room to add flexibility as a small bedroom or study etc

Sammiesnake · 11/04/2021 17:30

Could you go for the 3 bed and do a loft extension or something?

domesticslattern · 11/04/2021 17:32

Think teenagers. Bedroom each, yard/ tiny garden and near their friends. They will need privacy and space to study much more than a trampoline. Smile

greenlynx · 11/04/2021 17:33

Have you got the garden before? What are boys’ interests? I mean e.g for cycling they would rather need space for bicycles rather than a garden. Does 4 bed perfect in all other areas? Are there somewhere to go for sports/play like a park?

JackieTheFart · 11/04/2021 17:33

We viewed a house yesterday that needs every room doing up. Liveable - as in usable kitchen and bathroom etc, - but just nothing decorated since the early 90s so it's shabby (at best).

It is huge. It is a 3 bed, but the master is actually big enough to split into two (and has two windows and two radiators already); it has a garage that could be converted should we want to, it has a good size garden, and it's in the right area and within budget. Oh - off street parking too.

Husband is put off by the work needed. I think that this level of space plus all the other plus points shouldn't be discounted, especially when this is likely to be our home for the next 20 years.

OP posts:
ILoveMyMonkey · 11/04/2021 17:37

Definitely the 4 bed - they’ll all want/need their own space as they get older and if you have a yard with space for bbq’s, sitting out with a drink in summer then the boys can go to the local park for footy / sports etc which will be much better all round as teenagers booting a ball round a garden just irritates neighbours and wrecks your plants and grass.

chillied · 11/04/2021 17:44

4 bed no garden. We barely use ours, I'm sure we'd find ways to use the park etc.

JackieTheFart · 11/04/2021 17:57

I love all your responses...but please I don’t want to have to admit to my husband he might be right Grin

OP posts:
peak2021 · 11/04/2021 18:00

I'd choose 4 bed no garden. If possible not moving schools.

Kezzie200 · 11/04/2021 18:05

You can do a room a year. Your children can choose to do their own! With help...

Even perfect houses often need work to personalise when you move in.

JackieTheFart · 11/04/2021 18:18

@Kezzie200 that’s what I think. It just seems to me to be have pretty much everything we want.

OP posts:
Jenjenn · 11/04/2021 18:26

How long do you want to stay there? If forever, I would get the 3 bed w garden for me and dh long term. If just until kids are out of school, 4 bed. No to moving schools just for a bigger house.

greenlynx · 11/04/2021 18:28

This 3 bed sounds really good and you can do things in stages but you need to have everyone on board as it’s very stressful. My DH really wanted to buy a house like this he loves DIY and good at it. I was dead against it for various reasons. We compromised and our house needed some work which could be done slowly tbh even this became overwhelming as everything required more time and money than we’ve planned.

BikeRunSki · 11/04/2021 18:37

I have a (single) 12 year old and a 9 year old. I really would not want to move their schools now - the 12 year olds must have only moved to secondary recently this year or last anyway surely?
I’d let the garden go, and let them have their own rooms. I shared with my sister (albeit younger) until I was 16 and hated it.

ineedaholidayandwine · 11/04/2021 18:40

I'd go 4 bed too with kids that age, as long as there is some outside space so you can sit out in summer.

hennybeans · 11/04/2021 18:42

4 bed no garden.
My teen and tween would absolutely choose their own room over a garden, hands down. They prefer playing at the park with their friends anyhow, riding bikes/ scooters, playing football without worrying about kicking it over the fence.

ineedaholidayandwine · 11/04/2021 18:42

Though if you can afford the 3 bed plus the work to split that room then that sounds a good option, i think you'd need to get on with splitting that room asap though so they can get their own space, hopefully just a stud wall if each side is set up with a window and radiator?

RandomMess · 11/04/2021 18:47

Bigger houses are more work.

Gardens are more work.

4 beds (or possibility of) plus near large park/green space over 3 beds + garden.