Anyone had ETS surgery for severe facial blushing?

[RedCollar]

Not really sure where to post this (& have name changed) but..
Trigger warning suicide
I have been a severe blusher for as long as I can remember. Not the cute pink cheek type blushing but full on purple face, sweating mess. I’m not a shy or particularly introverted person, but it’s like my body just can’t control itself. It can be caused by anything from speaking in front of a group, bumping in to a friend at the shops or even talking to my DH or DC. Happens daily, sometimes multiple times a day depending. It has ruined my life, to the point that in my teens and young adulthood I regularly considered ending it all. I have hidden at every job, avoid shopping, avoid meals out with friends etc because of it. I have tried hypnotherapy, counselling, books, beta blockers but nothing has worked. I want to career change now in to a job I have always wanted but it would mean putting myself out there a lot more, and the blushing would be awful. I have looked in to ETS and am so keen to do it but would love to hear of any experiences/costs please? Also any side effects, although weighing them up I think they would be worth it?

Bumping for the night crowd 🤞🏼

I don't know about the surgery, OP, but I also struggle with blushing and Clinique do an excellent anti-redness range of foundations you could try in the interim?

Here's another bump. I suffer too, not as badly as you, but I've also considered this. Let's how someone comes along with personal experience.

My DH had it years ago. Has never regretted it. There are potential side effects though so do plenty of research and find an experienced surgeon (ie one that does it regularly)

I totally feel your pain. I had hypnotherapy in my 20s when it was the bain of my life. I would fantasize about injuring my face so I could cover it. There was an op that I asked the Dr to refer me for where they cut some 'wires' in your neck so the signals don't get through. Dr put me on fluxetine instead. Didn't help with the problem itself but I was happier!

No advice but a shit ton of sympathy.

Sorry just googled and see ETS is precisely what I asked Dr about!!

Thanks all. I have tried anti redness creams, I wear fake tan and loads of make up. But it’s so bad nothing can cover it - I have seen myself in a mirror just after an episode and my face is like a big tomato, not to mention the sweating. It gets me so down. My partner doesn’t understand and I know he wouldn’t be keen on the surgery (plus I’m assuming it’s not cheap) but I’m so desperate ☹️ Thank you @VanCleefArpels for sharing about your husband and I’m glad it worked for him.

Oh OP, how I understand how shit it is to be a blusher in life. It's excruciating as there's no hiding it, and the awareness of it deepens and prolongs the blush! Horrid in social situations, I used to dread work and being shown up. I'm naturally pretty confident and forward, but it's a terrible self-conscious cycle. People who don't blush just don't understand how debilitating it is.

I have a much better lid now but that niggling fear of an unexpected panic mode still lurks. I'm sorry I can't help re surgery as despite lots of googling I never had it. But some tips that really did help me personally (and I was BAD for YEARS):

Focus on really listening when a person speaks, even if it's hard as you know you're blushing. I find I get consumed by my own embarrassed thoughts - try to genuinely hone in on the words of the other person, to allow yourself to get distracted.

Pinch your skin. I read once that causing a bit of stress elsewhere on the body detracts from the blush reflex! As above it must be a distraction thing.

If you watch game of thrones, there's a great line from Tyrion Lannister about being a dwarf - "wear it like armour, it can never be used to hurt you". I found much of my blushing arose from fear of being "caught out" in a blush and looking a fool. So I accepted that I'll blush, and faked not caring so others couldn't tease as easily. It kind of takes control of the blushing, which then made me less frightened of it.

Do try a thicker makeup. It won't totally hide it but it WILL make it less stark, which might help your own confidence.

Final thing I've realized over the years -
A) others are nowhere near as aware as you are.

B) if they do notice, anyone nice just feels for you and will ignore. Let them. Act the part and engage fully in the situation until your reaction fades, which it will.

Sorry if you've seen the above before (if you're anything like me you've googled everything). But I wanted to give you encouragement that nobody is a bigger blusher than I was, and it's so much better now. Hopefully someone will be along soon to advise re the surgery.

Solidarity to you and my fellow blushers - nobody else understands! X

others are nowhere near as aware as you are

This totally resonates. I had NO idea my husband felt he had an issue with this, until the day he told me he was going into hospital for the surgery. He did all the research and consultation with the surgeon in secret, so ashamed of the problem. It was a massive shock to me and I had no idea really what it was he was going to have done. So if you can take any advice from me, please talk to your partner about it!!

It’s still considered quite controversial. When he goes to hospital or doctor now and discloses his previous surgery most medical professionals either raise an eyebrow or are intrigued as to whether it worked. It’s been the best part of 20 years since he had it done and he’s had no side effects but I remember him saying that others report some impact later - there’s various chat forums etc you could look at to get a picture of people’s experiences

@Blusherama what a wonderful post - thank you. I’m so glad things are better for you now and appreciate you sharing your experiences and tips. I do try and focus on what people are saying when I feel it happen, but I see them get awkward for me and it makes it worse until it’s out of control! I will look more in to the pinching, that sounds interesting and I can see the principal behind it. Lots of food for thought, thank you again!

@RedCollar oh it's just horrific isn't it, when it starts, and you both know, and you feel yourself going roasting hot and purple! 🤪 But the truth is the other person doesn't realize or care the way you do, so try to think "fuck it" and carry on. Easier said than done I know.

Oh another tip I found helped - in a potentially awkward situation channel someone whose attitude/confidence you admire. For me that's Samantha from Sex and the City 😂 I try to "be" Samantha, it sort of helps as a distraction if nothing else!