Do you have real life friends? Can you explain what it's like please?

[GlendaNorth]

I don't seem to have any real life friends, although a fair few on Facebook, I never go out (even before 2020), get invited, or rung up. I do still stay in touch with people, messaging and so on but all the effort is mine. I'm not sure why, but that's the way it is, and I know I'm not the only one in this situation.
I would love to hear from people with friends about what it's actually like? Are you popping in, ringing each other? What do you talk about? Is it all based around nights out? Are their friendship groups who have each others back? Do you go on holiday together? Do you know them all inside out? I would just like to hear about what it's like to be honest!

Well I tend to find that good friends can come from any stage in life so please don’t think you won’t ever have that.
I have a few friends I have had since college and we have always kept in touch and go away for weekends in normal times.
I have a close friend I would stay with and vice versa and go on holiday with as families again from age 16.
I have made a couple of close friends from people I got on with at work and also have a good neighbour friend etc.
It can be daunting saying do you want to meet up for coffee or do you fancy coming to X movie with me or whatever when you first get to know someone but it gets easier as you get to know each other.
Some people find life long friends from child play groups or school mums etc.
I would say I have 3 friends I know inside out and are like sisters to me albeit we don’t see each other a lot at present.
It’s hard to explain as it just evolves usually through life.
Have you ever had a good friend OP? What about at school or if you went to college? Someone you meet up with?
It can be very hard to make new friends especially now.
Mostly it’s a case of arranging to meet up on text or what’s app and then going out for a meal or drink or cinema. Just chat about life, family, troubles etc.
You do have to make arrangements I find otherwise it can all stay on chat. Perhaps you can decide who you would like to meet and just go for it message and ask if they fancy a walk and take out coffee.

I have friends I have made through work,. The other friends I have made have been through the school gate when DS was at primary school and I’m also in touch with a couple of women I met at school and University though we have had years on and off where we haven’t been in touch so much.

My old school friends and I talk more about our families. The work colleague friends and I have long discussions about social history, feminism and politics, we met working in the same higher education dept so have very similar obsessions. Well obsessions that cross over. We do also talk about our dc and the men that have come and gone in our lives.

The Mums I met at the school gate are my local friends, we chat about everything really.

I have two best friends, our friendship is wonderful. I met them when my DC were very young. I meet one of them about every 10 days and the other about every three weeks. At the moment we meet for a walk and a coffee but before COVID it would be for a trip to the cinema, a coffee, shopping or an occasional meal out. I can talk to them about absolutely anything and never feel judged. I always go back home in a happy mood after I’ve seen either of them. I am very lucky.

Sorry to hear you don’t have any friends OP, would you like some? It sounds like you would.

Yes - I've got quite a lot of friends - some I meet for coffee and walks, some I do volunteering with, some I go out for a meal with (pre Covid of course), I've also got two close friends from school (we are all over 60 ), haven't been able to meet up for over a year but we chat on the phone/email each other.

I find it fairly easy to make friends ... we've moved around a lot so I have to make the effort but I am confident at joining things which I find is the best way to meet like minded people. I've got another lovely friend that I don't actually spend that much time with regularly but we have a weeks holiday together every year which is lovely.

I do find I have 'categories' of friends - ie; I do different things with different friends ... I don't have a 'gang' of friends but separate friendships - seems to work for me .

Why don't you invite some people around as soon as you are able to? Or suggest meeting for a coffee outdoors?

I don’t wait to be invited anywhere. I invite them for walks and (pre covid) breakfast, lunch, for a coffee, play date with kids etc.

Different friends for different things. Some are into nights out, others phone chats with meetup a few times a year, others holidays/weekenders. I've known my friendship group for many years, some from primary school, some college & Uni, some via 1st job, & 1 was a penpal back in the 80s after I met her on holiday, she's over here now.

A work colleague joined MeetUp and seemed to be happy with it (pre-Covid of course) so maybe once everything's back to normal you could give that a try?

Maybe MN should have a friendship group (if there isn't one already)