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Original poster

How to approach this

27 replies

Overwhelmed245 · 10/04/2021 12:54

Partner works some Saturdays on top of that he teaches kids a hobby Saturday and Sunday mornings. It’s something he’s really passionate about and I never want to stop him doing this the hobby is done for free and I’m super proud of him as the hobby dosnt charge and is free for all the children. We met During Covid so the hobby wasn’t really able to run so I’ve had him all to myself on the weekends. It’s now back on and since he’s been working or at this hobby. He asked me last night to say if I ever felt the hobby was to much. But I can’t I don’t want him to stop the hobby but at the same time I’m annoyed as our one full weekend together is spent with me waiting for him he left at 8.30 and said he would be home at 12 he’s then got the hobby again tomorrow. The hobby came before I did so I guess I don’t want to say anything I just want to rant

OP posts:
StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes · 10/04/2021 13:54

Is it something you could go along and help with maybe one of the sessions? I would never see my birdwatching DH if i didnt join him sometimes 😁🦉🦆🦅

jessstan2 · 10/04/2021 14:14

You used the word 'hobby' nine times! I think we get it.

I am dying to know what it is.

Develop an independent interest for yourself.

Cherrysoup · 10/04/2021 15:46

Football coach? In the future, if you have dc, this will get very annoying. Could he reduce it to one day instead of both?

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LouiseTrees · 10/04/2021 15:52

8 to 12 midday? You still have the whole rest of the weekend?

VladmirsPoutine · 10/04/2021 15:52

Do you mean home at 12 midday or 12 midnight? If midday then I don't see the issue.

VioletCharlotte · 10/04/2021 15:58

Kids football coach?

Aquamarine1029 · 10/04/2021 16:03

He asked me last night to say if I ever felt the hobby was to much.

FGS, he's asking you how you feel about this? Why on earth won't you be honest about it? He's obviously invested enough in you that he cares how this hobby impacts your relationship. If you can't manage to communicate with him, do him a favour and end it now, because all you will do is allow resentment to build without giving him a chance to compromise.

Horsemad · 10/04/2021 16:20

@Aquamarine1029

He asked me last night to say if I ever felt the hobby was to much.

FGS, he's asking you how you feel about this? Why on earth won't you be honest about it? He's obviously invested enough in you that he cares how this hobby impacts your relationship. If you can't manage to communicate with him, do him a favour and end it now, because all you will do is allow resentment to build without giving him a chance to compromise.

This!
Moonface123 · 10/04/2021 16:20

He sounds a lovely man, l would keep myself busy doing stuff l enjoy, and make the most of the time you do have together.
Some men are utterly lazy at weekends and don't want to do anything except game or watch tv.

Original poster
Overwhelmed245 · 10/04/2021 18:09

Yes I don’t want him to stop his hobby so I won’t be saying anything I keep myself busy I prepared a nice brunch for us and had a long bath but I don’t see him during the week really so having only one afternoon together on a Sunday and then two other afternoons the week after on rotation is something I will have to put up with. I don’t want to make him stop I’ve come to a few days so far but it’s outside and it’s been freezing lately there are some of his family that go that I can talk to and come summer I can bring my blanket and read a book in the sun it’s just a little depressing wearing a million layers to stand in the cold and watch kids that aren’t yours play a hobby you don’t even really understand.

OP posts:
RaininSummer · 10/04/2021 18:24

I think since he is done by lunchtime, it isn't that terrible. I wouldn't suggest going too though but maybe use the time yourself to meet a friend, go to the gym, have a lie in or whatever you like. Then you have all afternoon and evening together. In the longterm I think that's much nicer than having either a lazy man or a clingon.

Bluntness100 · 10/04/2021 18:26

It’s just mornings? Why are you waiting for him, don’t you have other stuff to do?

Original poster
Overwhelmed245 · 10/04/2021 18:50

Well because Of Covid I can’t do anything really and as I come to his on the weekends it’s difficult to do anything as all my stuff is at mine in non Covid times I would meet a friend or go to the gym etc

OP posts:
PinkCookie11 · 10/04/2021 19:09

Once things start to open I think you’ll start to feel better. I’m sure your busy with work etc so use those free hours for yourself.
I like my partner being out and coming in at dinner time to be honest 😂

UhtredRagnarson · 10/04/2021 19:11

How did you spend weekends before you met him less than a year ago? Confused just do that! Don’t let your life be about waiting around being available for a partner!

Original poster
Overwhelmed245 · 10/04/2021 19:27

Before I met him I would see friends and family go to the gym shopping etc obviously I can’t do that now and I’m not waiting around due to Covid I see my partner on the weekends I go to his flat to stay he then leaves to go out and comes back at lunch Im

OP posts:
denverRegina · 10/04/2021 19:31

You can say the word football, it won't be outing Grin

VladmirsPoutine · 10/04/2021 19:32

It's 4 hours max he's gone. You need to find a hobby or entertain yourself. Whilst your thread may be in Chat - YABU.

blackandred · 10/04/2021 19:39

Is he Simon Quinlank?

blacksax · 10/04/2021 19:40

Plan to arrive Saturday lunchtime then.

Presumably he only does this during term-time, so it won't have an impact every week. Talk to him about it, don't build up resentment. Ask him about future holidays etc - will you have to arrange them around the hobby, or will he be able to take time off?

At the end of the day, one of you may well end up really resenting the other so you need to work it out now and if you think you won't be happy, then finish it sooner rather than later.

Speaking as a person whose DP is a musician, which has affected our Christmas Eve, New Year's Eve, bank holidays and quite a lot of Tuesday, Friday and Saturday nights for over 20 years, you need to either accept it or move on.

UhtredRagnarson · 10/04/2021 19:51

@Overwhelmed245

Before I met him I would see friends and family go to the gym shopping etc obviously I can’t do that now and I’m not waiting around due to Covid I see my partner on the weekends I go to his flat to stay he then leaves to go out and comes back at lunch Im
So don’t go to his place until after he has finished his mysterious hobby.
UhtredRagnarson · 10/04/2021 19:52

If you hadn’t met him what would you be doing with your covid weekends? Surely you wouldn’t just be sitting at home looking out the window all weekend?

Original poster
Overwhelmed245 · 10/04/2021 20:19

He does rugby and I could just go to his after rugby on Sunday but I leave Sunday evening and go home so it wouldn’t be worth it. I’m happy to stay at his like I said come summer it won’t be an issue

OP posts:
jessstan2 · 10/04/2021 20:26

You don't live with him therefore you are both free to pursue other interests. We have been in two lockdowns with restrictions in between but things will get better and you will have a 'life' again. Make the most of it, you don't need to be around a man all the time.

Original poster
Overwhelmed245 · 11/04/2021 08:57

I’m not around my man all the time I only see him on the weekends and that’s either for half a day Sunday or if he’s off half a day Saturday and Sunday. Like I said I’ve come on here to vent and I know it will get better.

OP posts:
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