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Not sure what to make of this, possibly over thinking?

6 replies

Soothes · 09/04/2021 10:57

Lockdown has been tough here. DH was diagnosed with cancer at the start of the first lockdown, was treated during that, meaning lots of isolation for us all, then at the start of the second lockdown, we discovered it has spread, treatment no longer possible and his illness is terminal, a matter of months.

They say you find out who your friends are at times like this and that seems to have been true for me. The two people I'd have said I could really rely on seem to have disappeared. However, a handful of "acquaintances" have been brilliant.

One of them is a man I know through an outdoor activity (which we both take quite seriously) that we've been able to keep up, in pairs, throughout lockdown. He's contacted me every week without fail to arrange to meet up and do our thing. He's a divorced man in his 50s, living alone and whilst it's been a godsend to me, TBH, I'd assumed he was mostly doing it as a reason to get out of the house. We've got on OK, mostly chatted about work and kids. I wouldn't say we have any great connection beyond a mutual interest and convenience though.

Our club is back now, so I'd assumed our weekly sessions would end, but he's keen to keep it up, which suits me - my performance has improved immeasurably as a result of his pushing coaching!

Now he's told me he has arranged an outdoor pub table in a few weeks time and would I like to be one of the six. This is a sociable chap who'd find 6 people easily. It's lovely to included, but I don't know why! I know some, but not all of the others, but only on a superficial chat basis.

I've said lovely, but I can't really commit to future plans atm, feel free to give the place to someone else. He said no problem it's mine if I can make it.

So just being a good person to someone who needs all the help they can get atm or something else going on? I really don't need additional complications just now!

OP posts:
IstandwithJackieWeaver · 09/04/2021 11:03

Sounds really thoughtful and the fact he has invited you to join him and other friends is the key thing.

Soothes · 09/04/2021 11:04

Oh, I should say the pub is one where we've often met up as part of a larger group related to the activity and part of our chat over the last few months has been about how good it would be to do it again, so it's not completely random.

OP posts:
floppybit · 09/04/2021 11:15

I think there's nothing to worry about here. He's not been inappropriate in any way and he's not trying to meet you for a drink alone. Sounds like he would make a good friend. I have close male friends myself.

fussygalore118 · 09/04/2021 11:20

Sounds like a good guy, I wouldn't look anymore into it other than him being a good friend who sees you are going through a fucking awful time and probably realising the activity you do and the possibility of a night out would help you deal with the stress and awfulness of your husbands illness xxx he sounds very thoughtful

I'm so sorry about your husband ❤

Soothes · 09/04/2021 12:56

Oh that's good then, thank you. I feel bad for doubting him now and a bit sad that I've gone a lifetime without really knowing people like this.

OP posts:
MiloAndEddie · 09/04/2021 13:05

Unless he’s given you any indication otherwise I’d take it at face value as a kind gesture

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