If you suspected a schoolmum might be a victim of DV

[FightingTheFoo]

I have very little to go on - just a throwaway comment she made a while ago about expecting an HV visit related to DV because a healthcare professional witnessed an uneasy exchange between her and her DH but she sort of laughed it off and made it seem ridiculous. We were on a play date when she said this and our kids were causing havoc so I wasn't able to probe further at the time - by the time it sunk in what she'd and we'd tended to one of the kid's tantrums the moment had passed.

Overall she's very skittish. And I've met her DH and he's a cold fish. But that obviously doesn't necessarily mean abuser.

I don't know her very well at all - we've just been on a couple of play dates. But she's moving away soon so I have very little to lose (I doubt we'll keep in touch) and I wonder if I should bring it up? And if so, how?

On the one hand I think it's not like she'd tell me if he was - and she does have family close by to keep an eye on her. On the other I think if there's even a chance I could help her I should?

You can’t do much but be there for her if/when she does open up. You could ask her how the HV went but it sounds as though it was awhile ago.

@PersonaNonGarter

You can’t do much but be there for her if/when she does open up. You could ask her how the HV went but it sounds as though it was awhile ago.

Thanks that's a good idea. I'm sure it'll still seem a bit nosy but at least it's more subtle than asking outright.

Be upfront with her, tell her you worry about her & will be there for her if she ever needs to contact you

I think you should ask how the health visitor appointment went. She can tell you if she can.

Also drop in a general sentence about how unacceptable dv is and isn't it good that (insert local refuge) is there for people who would need to leave.

It took: AandE nurse, GP, counsellor, Mumsnetters and the police to drip drip enough for that to sink in enough to leave.

If you can give her your number if you are willing to help.

I've only recently started to understand how hard it is for the woman. It always seemed to me silly why they don't just leave. But realistically by the time she might even realise that it's domestic abuse it too hard to leave. Even with money and somewhere to go the partner could have joint custody of the kids and then you aren't there to protect them, most women would rather it be them than the kids.
I'm glad you have brought this up because I need to understand best way to help people who want/need help.