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Original poster

6 year old can't accept accidents

10 replies

Loustew12 · 08/04/2021 21:27

This might sound an odd post. But am wondering if anyone could offer me some advice. My little girl has just turned 6 and it a very reactive (and moody) child. One of her problems is that she refuses to accept when anyone hurts her by accident and says sorry. She tries to attack us back, sometimes physically (usually the target is her little brother who is only 3 and genuinely apologetic) Will she grow out of this? Is there any way I can help her? I feel really bad for my little one too as he often becomes very frightened and confused when she lashes out.

OP posts:
HeyGirlHeyBoy · 08/04/2021 21:28

Has she always been like this?

sunshineandshowers40 · 08/04/2021 21:50

My son (12) has always been like this, he is currently being assessed for ADHD (although this isn't the only reason why).

It's very frustrating.

Knittedfairies · 08/04/2021 22:06

Has she accidentally hurt someone? How did she react?

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6 year olds Behaviour & development Families
beginningoftheend · 08/04/2021 22:11

Lots of children have phases.

How long since it started?

Original poster
Loustew12 · 09/04/2021 05:31

Yes, well not when she was a baby obviously. I'd say it has gradually got worse

OP posts:
Original poster
Loustew12 · 09/04/2021 05:33

She once accidentally gave her brother a black eye and was very upset about it

OP posts:
Original poster
Loustew12 · 09/04/2021 05:46

@sunshineandshowers40

My son (12) has always been like this, he is currently being assessed for ADHD (although this isn't the only reason why).

It's very frustrating.

I've actually been wondering about Adhd. She can focus on arty things because she loves it and she can play with her dolls or build lego but she really struggles when asked to concentrate on something. She almost panics and gets very upset. She can't sit still on a seat. She can't remember an instruction even if repeated everyday eg hang your coat up, shoes on the shoe rack. When we started school she left her cardigan there everyday for months. Even at nursery she was the only child who never got herself ready at pick up without being prompted . I'm more worried about her emotions though. She is so self-critical and seems to hate herself, despite being a lovely friendly caring little thing. And she comes from a happy home. Her good moods can flip dramatically to extreme anger and upset over the tiniest thing. The screams, stamps her feet and slams doors. It's so difficult to manage. I try and discipline her but I can also tell she feels bad about herself so sometimes I'm maybe too empathetic. She's fine at school behaviour wise but talks to me about being no good. I've been told she copied other kids. I just feel so sad for her. She's still so little
OP posts:
sunshineandshowers40 · 09/04/2021 08:00

@Loustew12 your DD is still little and learning. It's so hard to watch them, especially if they are upset and frustrated. 2 of my dc also struggle to control their emotions; does her school have an ELSA (emotional literacy support assistant)? It might be work speaking to her teacher to see if they can offer any support there. I've also always worried about my son but it was until he started secondary school that things become more obvious.

HeyGirlHeyBoy · 09/04/2021 14:40

I don't know about adhd, anxiety maybe or simply temperament but I would say self esteem is low so I'd work on that first. And don't punish and don't go on too much about it at the time but it might be effective to talk about it with her when things are good.

nativenavajo · 01/03/2025 21:52

Your post made me cry, I'm due to have my little boy 6, assessed for either ADHD or ADD, however I've really struggled with it at second guessing myself, as to what's normal behaviour and what's not. It's made my own mental health poor at times as I find his behavour odd at times for example, he also says people do things on purpose even though it may of been an accident like if one of his friends at school bumps into him by an accident or familly members if he squeezes past ect but is it normal for it to work the other way around? For instance if he hurts me in any kind of way he either doesn't care what so ever and can be very mean about it, by saying stuff like I'm glad your upset or crying or he can be totally distraught. Putting himself in small corners to almost self punish, even when I say it's OK it was only an accident and he then says no it wasn't jt was on purpose and when I say well did you mean to hurt me then, he gets upset and says no. Buy honestly reading this post helped clarify behaviour and symptoms as I've been in utter turmoil the last 4 years over my parenting and if I'm bad person and have I messed him up in some way for him to be like this. So thank you, beyond words x

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