Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Flip

Original poster

I'm so overwhelmed

19 replies

OhToBeASeahorse · 07/04/2021 20:33

I don't feel I can cope with things anymore.
I'm bone tired. I feel like I'm swimming against a tide that is just getting stronger.

OP posts:

Mrspimplepopper · 07/04/2021 20:34

Can you explain a bit more? I'm here to listen

IpanemaChic · 07/04/2021 20:35

You sound overwhelmed. Do you feel you can say more

30scrisis · 07/04/2021 20:37

I understand. I get days like these. Do you want to talk about it?

Original poster

OhToBeASeahorse · 07/04/2021 20:48

Thank you both.

My DF is in hospital. My DM has been in and out since new year. She has depression and they have told her that she has been in drugs so long they have literally shrunk her brain. It sounds like she just wont recover this time. She is very controlling and i would say abusive towards my DF and this time her illness has just broken him.

My in laws moved away shortly before our 2nd baby was born.

My toddler is so so intense. He does not stop asking things of me. Trying to do anything - even make a phone call - is so hard. He also hits and bites. Everything is a battle. He is dairy intolerant and has other unexplained digestive issues - he poos usually 4 times a day. They were supposed to be testing him for allergies but no one is getting back to me about it even though I keep trying. He had recently changed childcare and I'm not particularly happy with it, but trying to find a replacement is proving difficult.

My baby is 6 months. We dont know if she is dairy intolerant. She is breastfed. Most nights getting her to sleep is a battle. Tonight she screamed for about half an hour. She wakes up if I leave the room. We cosleep and even then she often wakes up every hour. In the daytime she only sleeps in the sling and its getting harder to keep her asleep with DS around.

I'm utterly exhausted. I've done nothing but research her symptoms and what I should be doing. No professional will help me . I'm clueless about trying to wean her dairy free, if I should be taking supplements...

I can't take anymore.

OP posts:

sodoffmenopause · 07/04/2021 21:01

Oh wow I didn't want to read and run, but just sending a hand hold that sounds like a really tough situation. Are the GPs not helping at all with this? Do you have a health visitor? A partner someone who can let you have a break and some unbroken sleep?

snoopy8 · 07/04/2021 21:05

I'm sorry to hear what you are going through. It's sounds incredibly intense and hard, you are doing amazingly. Is the father of your children in your life? Could he be doing more?

Why aren't you happy with your DS' childcare? Are your breastfeeding or formula for your DD?

Original poster

OhToBeASeahorse · 07/04/2021 21:09

DH is around and doing so much but he works long hours.

DD is BF. We could try formula but if she is dairy intolerant that wont be a good idea. I also BF my son for 18 months and rightly or wrongly feel i should do the same.

OP posts:

Original poster

OhToBeASeahorse · 07/04/2021 21:12

I feel like I have nothing to enjoy. I have no evenings at all, I get no sleep, I cant even eat my Easter egg.

The childcare- we had an amazing CM but she felt DS would need more by the time he turns 3.so we found a CM who also has a preschool - that would work for both children when I go back to work. So we started DS. He has come home with a dirty nappy 3 times and got bad nappy rash one day too - took us a week to get it healed. I just miss our old one desperately.

OP posts:

Original poster

OhToBeASeahorse · 07/04/2021 23:51

Anyone?

OP posts:

Heartofglass12345 · 07/04/2021 23:58

If you think it's dairy could you cut dairy out for a while to see if it helps?
Could your husband take some time off to help you out? I don't know what else might help.
With your sons behaviour, he may be frustrated because the baby needs you so much right now, 2 is a funny age. My youngest had a lot more understanding and was able to articulate himself more at that age than my oldest, and oldest was much more frustrated and his behaviour was worse.
You are dealing with a lot

BluntlySpoken · 08/04/2021 00:01

My 14m old is cmp intolerant.

Wysoy was our saviour! Could that be worth a try?

Original poster

OhToBeASeahorse · 08/04/2021 08:36

I've tried giving up dairy twice for 6 weeks each. Her nappies are different when I go back on it (but not i a bad way) but she seems more unsettled at night

OP posts:

30scrisis · 08/04/2021 08:47

I feel your pain with the feeding! I had a child with severe reflux who would vomit up to 10 times a day anywhere any everywhere but being only 20 I didn't really know better even though I was BF. He's. Is a very fit and healthy, despite being very thin, 14 year old! So don't think that you're doing anything wrong ever. But also don't think you have to BF the baby until he's the same age as your toddler would. You won't always be able to treat your children equally. It'll be down to whatever needs they have at that time. Can you afford a nanny instead? As for your parents you can only do what you can do. Your whole post come across that you are trying to do and be everything and feel massively guilted for not being able to. Don't be so hard on yourself.

30scrisis · 08/04/2021 08:50

Also... do controlled crying with the baby. It's horrible yes. But it will work eventually. As long as they are clean, dry, warm, fed an comfortable they will be ok. A combination of a toddler, a bf baby and no sleep nearly killed me of this time 12 years ago and I can only say that if I could've done things differently I absolutely would've.

Original poster

OhToBeASeahorse · 08/04/2021 11:06

Thank you. I think I might be developing PND but I thought that last time and the dr said I wasnt

OP posts:

fiorentina · 08/04/2021 11:19

Can you potentially face going out to some activities with your baby now restrictions are easing slightly, get a change of scenery from home. It’s been really hard being at home all the time with a baby and perhaps lonely for you? Do you get to see any friends, even for walks with the buggy/a coffee?
I’d also suggest seeing your GP again if you can. I hope they’d be understanding of all the challenges you’re facing and see if there is some help for you.

TooStressyTooMessy · 08/04/2021 11:25

Re. the childcare. Could you go back to the old childminder for now?

Then when you can you could enrol your son separately in preschool or nursery? May be limited with Covid rules but certainly when my DD was that age she went to a childminder who did drop off and pick up from preschool. Best of both worlds but I suspect the childminder would have suggested that if it was an option. Or if she can’t do pick ups etc could he split the care between the childminder and a nursery / preschool if this one isn’t working out? Might be thoughts for the future as mixing and matching of settings might not be practical with Covid.

Original poster

OhToBeASeahorse · 08/04/2021 11:41

The nurseries around us arent very good sadly. There are 2 great preschools but I cannot find a childminder who can do the pick up and drop off.

OP posts:

TooStressyTooMessy · 08/04/2021 11:44

Ah, yes that is the trouble with preschools. Sounds very difficult. You might work full time of course or it might not be afffordable but if not could he go to preschool 2 sessions a week or so to see other kids and you drop off (or just groups as PP has said) and collect and then he stays with the childminder for actual childcare.

Flip