To ask your parent's or grandparent's attitudes to money??

[BayLeafLaurelTree]

I have 'issues' with money. Like anxieties over not having enough or not having savings. I am a low earner and for health reasons probably always will be. Single mum.

I'm 33. My grandmother says that her father was always proud although they had a hard life at times poor.

I am under the impression that there wasn't as much aspiring to a 'lifestyle' in the past as there is now. That rents were cheaper, mortgages easier to get, but food and basic clothes more expensive. Foreign holidays very rare, did working class people go on one or two 'staycations' a year??. Most 'gadgets' didn't exist, well maybe the radio or telephone or tv when they came out.

I'm talking the period 1880s - 1980s. I realise there are huge differences in the different eras.

It really interests me. People seemed to be content with less. Or were they??

Well 100 years is a massively long period.

I am under the impression that there wasn't as much aspiring to a 'lifestyle' in the past as there is now.

Obviously so much of what people "want" now, wasn't even heard of, or even invented during those times. You can't "aspire to" something that has never crossed your radar.

That rents were cheaper, mortgages easier to get, but food and basic clothes more expensive.

For the first 60 years of your Century, there was no welfare state, and no health service, so poverty meant real poverty with some really big decisions for families to make.

Overwhelmingly property ownership wasn't something ordinary people aspired to much before the 1960s.

Foreign holidays very rare, did working class people go on one or two 'staycations' a year
No.
Mostly during that period people went on a day trip

I saw on mumsnet that people had done courses with the Christians against poverty and found the courses amazing. So I have signed up. I want to recalibrate my attitudes. My granny had a very good job and inheritance but none of this fancy clarins stuff for her. She was on the Ponds cold cream. I sometimes feel like this hard won women's emancipation, where we are able to pursue professional careers, is somehow hindered if we spend loads on high end cosmetics.

Obviously advertisers create a "need" for all this stuff. There is no way I need half the crap I buy.

I'm also a single mum and I know even small successes that you build up to can increase your confidence and make you feel better able to organise holidays/Christmas etc without feeling a pinch. That course which I have started (online via zoom) has seemed useful in getting me to get more organised already.

yes i agree. and so much targetted marketing, as women will pay more for the same product, eg deodorant, razors.
OP, i would say that generally people had better values in former times.
less materialistic. but they have also been manipulated by the modern world, mass media, advertising, pushing consumerism, greed.
my attitude has always been if you want something, save up for it.
i don't want to be owing people money.
cut your suit according to your cloth.
what really matters is people not things. kindness. and honesty.
i find your question interesting OP. take care.

What is the Christian agaisnt poverty course about? Money management?

Spend some . Save some.
I have good savings and good spends.
Never invest money in anything you can’t afford to walk away from.
I’m still a bargain shopper.
Friends of ours are millionaires. With a beautiful home in this country and a beautiful villa in a very sought after area in florida, yet we would still see them on economy travelcity flights..same as us.😂
I’m going out to buy a high end ipad. I don’t need one, but I want one as my old one is nearly 4 years old and is slowing down a bit.
I didn’t get my holiday in abroad in December last year and March this year
So I reckon I deserve one.
Yet, I was over the moon to find my favourite faith in nature shampoo , conditioner and hand wash half price or less yesterday in home bargains.

Oh and these were my dads values.
He’d save up until he could afford to buy something outright.
He had no debt and neither do I

A 100 years ago people would get Sunday off and many would be off to church. Families from London would sometimes go for a week to pick hops or produce and that was classed as a holiday. A day trip would be a luxury something like a day at the races or a trip to the seaside.

Holidays are a very modern concept. I know DH grandparents had holidays back in the 1950’s overseas and flew but they were extremely wealthy. MIL childhood house had a tennis court and his Grandfather ended up knighted.

Life was a massive grind for the WC back then , I am not saying it’s a bed of Roses now. But the life expectancy of a WC male was around 40 around 100 years ago. I would have to check the exact stat. That statistic was so low due to the enormous amount of children under 5 who would die. People would name their child and then when they died use the name again for a subsequent child.

I can recommend a couple of biographies. Where theres life by Kathleen Dayus and The Road to Nab End by William Woodruff. Both recount their poverty stricken childhoods in Birmingham and Lancashire. They have very different writing styles but are both amazing books.

In that time period there were two world wars, the Great Depression, Spanish flu and women getting the right to vote. My Grandmother was born in 1901 and even though she was from a middle class family those world and national events like our current pandemic could not be escaped by anyone.

Though WW1 did assist in bringing about the vote for women. There was also a great amount of maiden aunts who never married due to the destruction of male youth on the battlefield. Some of those women especially MC ones became professionals instead as so few men were available. DH great Aunt was one of these, her fiancée died on the battlefield and she became a journalist.

I have digressed somewhat but I’m just trying to build a picture as to what life was like. The attitude towards debt has changed and the concept of buying a lifestyle. But people at that point were just trying to survive and life overall was much tougher.

There is a paragraph in the Dayus biography where she is tasked with arranging fresh flowers on the schoolteachers desk. She takes the now very limp discarded flowers home and her Mother proudly has them in a jar on the table in her front window having put clean newspaper on the table to show off to her neighbours.

My dad's family were very poor. Growing up, he'd save for a rainy day in the pouring rain.

But that was from a position of knowing what it was to have nothing.

It's things now that people take as granted:
Holiday abroad
New car regularly
Something broken, buy a new
Can't afford it, stick it on credit
Gym membership

And also things that people would have done themselves as a matter of course, now people pay for. How many people actually had a gardener when I was little? Well, I knew one family in a huge house that had one day a week. Other than that, a few people paid either their children, or friend's children pocket money to do it (50p was the going rate for 2 lawns when I did it) Now I can name without thinking hard a couple of dozen people who would at least have one who comes and does the lawn.

Birthday cakes were always home made, parties were simple home affairs with games and tea... If my family bought cakes it was either donuts (1/2 each) or a Chelsea bun (divided between the 5 of us)
Phones: The latest iphone costs about the same amount as our car . How often do people upgrade because they just want a newer model? I wonder what the average (mode or mean) time people have a phone before upgrading?

It's a different attitude and, at times it's good (anyone else remember going to school with shoes mended with super glue and string ?) and at times it's a throw away world with added competitiveness to have the newest and best, which isn't helpful.

You didn't spend what you didn't have.

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To ask your parent's or grandparent's attitudes to money??12
Yesterday 18:13BayLeafLaurelTree

I have 'issues' with money. Like anxieties over not having enough or not having savings. I am a low earner and for health reasons probably always will be. Single mum.

I'm 33. My grandmother says that her father was always proud although they had a hard life at times poor.

That rents were cheaper >>>>not by my understanding

mortgages easier to get,>>>>opposite it was the decades following that this was the case extensively.
food >>>>was more costly.

basic clothes more expensive >>>>>yes

Foreign holidays very rare, >>>>most didn't have passports. In my family, the extent of foreign travel until late 80s was the very odd day trip to Calais, Boulogne, etc.

did working class people go on one or two 'staycations' a year??>>>>many none. If they did was camping in latter part. Earlier working holidays, such as hop picking.

Most 'gadgets' didn't exist, well maybe the radio or telephone or tv when they came out. >>>>Wireless was commonplace. Lasted years and were often repaired. Tvs weren't commonplace until 70s where I am - the street used to "bundle in" to houses who had a TV and children watch through windows!

I'm from a SE Asian background where creating generational wealth is paramount, so you should save much more than you spend. In my generation that is changing a lot, but for me I have largely kept the way of my parents and dgps. Saving and education are necessities, I spend very little on clothes, cars, or the house but we do go on a very budget holiday every year (and make a spreadsheet to see how we can keep costs as low as possible!).

My Mum went on a school trip to Belgium when she was 14 in 1960. She overheard her parents talking about my Grandma taking on another part time job to jay for it

They were very excited for her going as 'it will probably be her only chance if going abroad' . They weren't massively poor, they bought their own home but just couldn't comprehend any family members ever going abroad

My Grandad died in 1979 a few months after my Mum had booked to go to America to see relatives. He was so proud

I grew up in the 1960s. Holidays were a week at my aunt and uncles, with DM. DD came for the 2 weekends and worked during the week, he never really had a break. All 4 of us in the one room, us 2 kids on camp beds. Loved it!

Once we had a week in a caravan. On the 2nd day, dad was taken to hospital! (Nothing serious, and Mum was able to get our money back as an eloping couple had turned up, needing accommodation!).

In later years my parents did manage to rent a cottage for a week, just the 2 of them.
I still regard holidays as a luxury and a privilege.

My wealthy grandparents believed in sharing their wealth. Set all their dc up when they married with large monetary gifts and then died early leaving a lot of money to their dc and a smaller amount to us grandkids. My dps didn't have a clue how to invest any of it and both retired early and spent most of it. They do have their own house and some savings. They told us to be independent and not get into debt.
My poor as church mice grandparents didn't have enough money for the basics but my grandmother was a snob and refused to work once married even though they had no were near enough to eat.

My grandparents were born in 1913.
My grandad was the eldest of 9 siblings, so didn't have much money growing up.
My gran grew up very poor, as her dad spent any spare money on drink. When she left school at 14, she worked in a bakery. She was given leftovers to take home which stopped her family going hungry.
They both had a horror of debt, everything was saved up for. They never bought their own house as they were scared of getting a mortgage.
I remember my own parents being very careful with debt too. When they set up their own home they had very little new furniture, most of it was second hand stuff from family.
When I was growing up in the 70's, all our family (grandparents, aunties and uncles) rented their TV's and washing machines as they couldn't afford to buy them outright until well into the 80's.

I just remember being shocked when Dad told me his Mum and Dad got their furniture from a cigarette company - you got coupons I think. Very strong cigs so of course they puffed like mad. Why couldn't they just put money aside for furniture? I don't suppose it was a cheap way of doing so and they had little money. I remember green shield stamps but at least you didn't cough your guts up with them!

My grandparents are very very practical.
They're very much "you don't need a new phone if the one you have works just fine and does what it needs" which is basically make calls and take a few pictures.
Same goes for clothing, home items, cosmetics and so on. They always give it their best try to mend rather than throw away and replace.
They look after everything they have, my DGM still has decor pieces in her home from 30 years ago, they moved a few years ago into a lovely house they built themselves and she is still using them as they are perfectly fine and looked after in contrast to some people I know who can change the decor of their lounge 3 times a year for no real reason.

They are much less influenced by social media as they don't use it and take everything much for face value.
They grew up during food stamp times when items of clothing or furniture required a long trip to a "larger" town and were often very difficult to get. The majority of food was home grown as it was hard to buy or in limited quantities (DM remembers queuing from 5-6am to be able to get some coffee from the supermarket which opened at 9am as otherwise they'd have had no chance to get any due to low stock).

They are a lot more mindful and practical which translates into their attitude towards money.

I live by a save, then spend rule. I've never cared much for keeping up with everyone. But that's very difficult when you have small children and childcare. I remember shitting myself and hoping that all bills would get paid during those times.

My parents were born just before WW1. He came from a wealthy family so we grew up in a big house and went to exclusive schools but they didn't flash their money - clothes were made to last and we never had pocket money but had to justify what we needed. I was brought up to live within my means, never borrow money (except for a mortgage in the 70s at 12%) and take care of what you had. When I first married we furnished our home with spare furniture and were very grateful. I don't understand why people get new kitchens and sofas every few years - the power of advertising I suppose - and I still wear a Jaeger wool coat my mum bought me 30 years ago. Her family was much poorer and she was one of seven but they had the same values. Her dad was a carpenter and supported them all with no debt. They'd hire a charabanc for a day trip to Clacton as their holiday and spare seats went to anyone else in the street. The common thread running through both families was a strong sense of responsibility and decency - my mum's mum used to have an old boy sitting by the fire who I dimly remember and I thought he was a stray uncle but he was a homeless gent who she'd taken in to join her large family. I think a lot of people have become selfish and self centred, materialistic and financially reckless - Thatcher's legacy of me me me?

My DPs, born in the 30s so grew up in the war.
Don't waste stuff.
Use it until it doesn't work, don't replace until you have to.
Don't buy unless you have the money.
When you do buy, buy decent quality so it lasts.

I'm pretty much the same, but we eat out more.

Also I do think it's a bit trickier nowadays with the influence of social media and general commercialism.
Many people have a skewed opinion of what "essentials" are and couldn't imagine a house without sky and multiple expensive devices like iPads, PlayStations and brand new mobile phones as everyone is doing it apparently yet they are perpetually in debt or racking it up on their credit cards for the sake of keeping up with the joneses so to speak.

Things are also a lot harder to manage I think with jobs that keep you busy 24/7 and pay barely enough to survive as social media shoves picture perfect homes and travelling instagrammers down our throats and expectations get skewed.

My friends sister for instance, is single, works ft quite long hours and rents alone - it's tight for her and she constantly complains about not being able to save enough for anything substantial. She wants all inclusive holidays and to be able to buy a house which in itself is fine but she wouldn't consider renting a bedroom rather than a full house to help her save faster for her longterm goals as she feels she deserves the space. She gets down about how she will never be able to afford a house of her own yet when talking about properties for herself (she would be a first time buyer) she scoffed at the idea of buying a 2 bed terrace to maybe get her on the ladder, she wants "at least" a semi detached as her first property as she wants the space and to have a wardrobe / makeup room and a gym room.

Again these are perfectly fine aspirations but not necessities and it's like she's trying to run before she can walk.

They're very much "you don't need a new phone if the one you have works just fine and does what it needs" which is basically make calls and take a few pictures.
Same goes for clothing, home items, cosmetics and so on. They always give it their best try to mend rather than throw away and replace.
They look after everything they have, my DGM still has decor pieces in her home from 30 years ago, they moved a few years ago into a lovely house they built themselves and she is still using them as they are perfectly fine and looked after

Sounds very normal and how I live my life today.