Hindsight - things you wish you hadn’t worried about (when raising kids)

[PuppyDogEyes13]

Hi

I am a self confessed worrywart. I’m not proud of the fact & it causes me much distress (I think it’s a family gene).

I have consequently spent huge chunks of my children’s lives worrying about any number of stupid things, from friendship issues to fussy eating, most of which have resolved themselves with time, and with hindsight I wish I’d just kept things in perspective.

My children are teenagers now and so my worries are related to screen time/lack of effort with school work/what they’ll do after school etc. I guess I’m asking if any of you have any words of wisdom with how to deal with the teenage years. What has hindsight taught you?

Thanks, in advance.

I'm only half way through the teen yes with my two, but what I would say is keep talking to them, allow them to tell you the rubbish that they feel is important so they feel listened to, and hope that they will come to you with the "bigger" things. Don't go mad at them if then tell you something they have done- tell them you're pleased they can come up you and solve it together. Finally, give them some freedom but maintain the boundaries you think are important- don't stress the little stuff!! The "off the rail" kids seem to be the ones who have too much or too little freedom.

Thanks - trying v hard not to sweat the small stuff but it’s hard!

Re screen time - a friend once told me (pre-Covid) that screens are a normal part of their communication. Have limits you feel are acceptable- not at night/ mealtimes etc.

It's really hard - especially when you can see a better way of doing something, but teens tend to learn better if they make mistakes rather than being told. Weeks of a "floordrobe" got vaguely sorted when my DD had to wear socks to school instead of tights as they were all dirty (socks are v uncool in her opinion)

Good tip JumpLeads. DH thinks I do too much for the kids. I must learn to stand back sometimes...