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Advice I’m struggling

3 replies

Mdaviesxxxxx · 06/04/2021 23:58

I’m wondering if anybody has had a similar experience. I posted previously about finding out I was pregnant for the first time. I am 23 been with my partner 4 years and just got our first home together.
Complete shock when I found out I was pregnant and the pregnancy was not planned. I couldn’t stop crying and just felt the time wasn’t right- I had panics about being a bad mum. I am adopted as my birth mum was a drug addict and birth father was aggressive towards me and abusive. I have the most amazing parents now but when I found out I was pregnant I couldn’t stop panicking Incase I turned out like my birth mum and my baby got taken away from me( I know this sounds so silly as I’m nothing like her but it was going through my mind)
I decided to book a termination even though it was the hardest choice I’ve ever had to make. I was sat in the hospital before my appointment and kept wanting to leave and decide to go ahead with the pregnancy but I just couldn’t.
I’m now a week after my procedure and can’t stop crying and regretting my decision I loved them so much and really panicked and now I am terrified. I can’t sleep or think straight and it’s impossible for me to get out of bed. I feel so guilty and empty I just wish I had had confidence in myself to go through with it but instead I doubted myself and thought I’d be an awful mum.
Will this depression guilt feeling slowly go with time? Has anybody got advice for me if been through anything similar

OP posts:
Tickledtrout · 07/04/2021 04:13

Oh @Mdaviesxxxxx I'm so sorry you're hurting. I think your emotions are perfectly understandable even if I think you are being so hard on yourself and I wish I had a way to help you feel kinder to yourself. Is counselling an option, maybe privately?
I haven't experienced similar but hopefully someone else will come along soon Flowers

Namaste6 · 07/04/2021 04:38

@Mdaviesxxxxx I'm so sorry that this has happened to you. I too have not experienced this myself, but @Tickledtrout's advice to seek counselling is a good place to start. Do you feel you can talk to your adoptive parents?

Sleepingdogs12 · 07/04/2021 08:29

It is understandable that you feel sad and confused. Your hormones will be all over the place and ' the what ifs' are zooming around in your head. I think you need to arrange some counselling through the gp to help you come to terms with the feelings and fears this has dredged up for you. You have lots of years ahead to have a family , have confidence in this decision and get some help and support. When you become a mum you will be ready .

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