Overcoming fear (specifically motorways)

[Sobloodyexhausted]

I’ve never been that keen on motorway driving but have become increasingly anxious about using both motorways and A roads in the last few years. Things became worse in summer 2019 - I had an incident of tailgating with an aggressive driver who rear ended me (on a country lane not a motorway) and it really shook my driving confidence. I know at the very least I need motorway lessons with a driving school but I think I might need more than that as the panic is very overwhelming at times. I really hate joining a motorway - I’m terrified in case there isn’t a gap for me in time to cut in and I have to stop. I’m also not very happy about changing lane, preferring to crawl along in the slow lane unless I really have to. My DH says I always leave more space than I need to and seem to have a kind of looming thing where I perceive the other cars to be closer than they actually are!

I’ve started getting nervous when other people drive too. I feel so vulnerable like I’m hurtling along in a tin box having to trust myself / others not to do something stupid that would endanger lives. I feel like the speed exacerbates every small mistake could be catastrophic!

Has anyone else been through this and successfully tackled their fear? Maybe you’ve tackled fear of something else and would kindly share your secrets with me?
I really want to get over this before it gets worse and stops me driving outside my comfort zone altogether.
Ironically on familiar B roads I think I’m a good driver. I’m considered and relaxed and quite enjoy this kind of driving.

I'm nervous of motorways too so I can't really help but I will say you can never leave too much of a gap. My driving instructor told me this and its served me well.

I would say take motorway lessons with an instructor. They will tell you what to do and what to look out for on motorways.
Joining a motorway is a skill. It also relies on the other drivers (in the joining lane) either leaning that lane, to give extra space, it acknowledging that you are joining and making space.

Yes, motorway lessons sounds like a really good idea - should boost your confidence and get you back on them. I sympathise - I learned to drive in my 30s and it was years before I stopping haing to practically peel my hands off the steering wheel after a motorway drive, even though I didn't consciously feel that nervous!

Following for advice. I've been driving just over a year now and haven't been on a motorway. I'm the same I feel like cars are closer than what they actually are. Even when I was learning to drive joining onto the dual carriageway or overtaking my instructor would tell me to pull out but I would hesitate thinking the cars are closer than what they actually are. I really struggled with learning to drive it took me a long time, a lot of money and numerous tests. I don't want to be stuck local because I'm scared to drive on a motorway its really frustrating and makes me feel stupid that everyone else does it without a second thought.

Thank you everyone - it feels really comforting that I’m not the only one feeling like this.

I’m with you too OP - also planning motorway lessons in the hope they help

I can’t drive on motorways. A roads ok. But seriously, I panic so much that I’d be a danger on the motorway. Even thinking about one makes my knees go funny.

I have had some success with Cbt. But I expect motorway lessons help too and going on the motorway regularly. Do you live near a motorway? I don’t. If you could go on the motorway daily even for one junction I think that would help. I did that with the A roads.

I was completely like this after a crash. Totally motorway phobic. I was actually not going to apply for a good job as it meant going on the motorway. In the end, I applied, got the job, travelled by motorway every day. Nearly had a heart attack for first few times, was panicking, cold sweat, fear in my heart, gradually got calmer and I am fine now. So I would say go for the lessons and then just keep on practising. Choose smaller motorways where you can (not m25 near Heathrow!) good luck!

I was always a confident and competent driver, using motorways with ease. About 7 years ago, I had a panic attack whilst driving on one. It was terrifying. Stopped me from motorway driving. I sought help from a counsellor via my GP. Was told to get through my anxiety by doing it....I can see how this works for some anxieties but it’s just too dangerous to try whilst driving at 60 mph!
I took some motorway driving lessons along a very familiar stretch that I need to use to get to my elderly mums. I can do this stretch confidently now but still haven’t used any others. Life without motorways is different but doable. Good luck to you. X

Hypnotherapy, then drive on them lots. You’ll be fine.

I'm with you OP. I'm even more wary now because of smart motorways. Not being able to pull over safely if broken down or a tyre blows is terrifying.