Can’t clean /won’t clean?

[Endlesscleaning]

A family member has moved into a small house we own in another town (rent free). DH has it for work but has been living at home due to Covid.

Problem is whenever we go there (only when relative is away because of Covid rules) the house has been left grubby. I immediately have to start cleaning. I.e bath scummy, mould starting, toothpaste slops and hairs round the bowl, not vacuumed, sofas all disarranged, minor spills left on kitchen work surface and sink not cleaned.

My DH spoke to relation who was hurt and protested that they always wipes round. How do you cope with someone who doesn’t know how to clean/has different ideas of cleanliness?

I’m getting so sick of acting as their cleaner, but certainly don’t want to fall out over it. How do I handle it?

@DDIJ

Someone will be along in a minute to tell you to give the house to the relative

Quite right! it’s their HOMMMMME! 🤣

@BrutusMcDogface

DH has it for work but has been living at home due to Covid

^^ Not an update. It was in my OP that my DH stays there for work

Pre Covid we had a cleaner there. So yes it was clean.

If anyone has any advice on how to raise this with relation, I would be grateful.

Make it clear that if they don't step up, you will either start charging them rent including a supplement to pay for a cleaner - or be telling them to leave.
And mean it.

So is DH using it or not? Your OP says he was at home due to Covid so why are you going to the other house regularly?

@Endlesscleaning

If anyone has any advice on how to raise this with relation, I would be grateful.

My answer to that would depend on several things.

Who is the relative?
What’s your relationship with them like?
Would you rather they left rather than the house continued to be dirty?

If theyre living rent free id make it a stipulation that they pay for a cleaner

Have a chat, acknowledge that you have high standards and say that you don't want to fall out. No need for a big fall out

@Endlesscleaning

If anyone has any advice on how to raise this with relation, I would be grateful.

I would just say: ‘When DH lives in the house during the week we have a cleaner come in to keep on top of things. The cleaner is going to start coming again now that the house is being used. We’re obviously not going to start asking you to pay rent/bills but need to ask you for £30 pw to cover the weekly maintenance clean.’

Hopefully they’ll get the message that they are not keeping on top of it.
Clean up or pay up.

Make them pay for a cleaner.

Why are they living there rent-free?

Also, are they staring rent free due to any mental health issues? Apologies if that's already been stated.

*staying

OP,
Utterly grim.

No good deed going unpunished.

This would piss me off.

You have been hugely generous.

It is extremely disrespectful to not maintain the house to the standard they were given it.

This is one of those situations where something given for nothing is not being valued.

Long term their lack of care will cost you.

I would insist they pay for a solid cleaning every week and if that doesn't suit them, they are welcome to make alternative arrangements.

Or you could just tell them that your husband is going to require the house.

Either way I would be taking action and wouldn't allow their supposedly hurt feelings get in the way.

Finding your house with mould and having to clean would is very poor.

Start charging them rent to pay for a cleaner or insist that instead of rent they use a specified cleaning agency for a certain number of hours per week.

Yeah just get them to pay for a cleaner. It’s still far less than rent and they get a clean house.