So sorry you’re going through this @LavenderBee. This was incredibly difficult for me several years ago, with no pandemic complicating every issue. Must be horrific now and my heart goes out to you.
Some practical suggestions. Set up a WhatsApp group, Facebook or group text (thinking about older folk and what they may use) for all who need to be/wish to be kept informed. Tell them you’ll update when you get any news because it’s really difficult to keep everyone updated otherwise. Tell them you appreciate their concern and support because when restrictions hopefully relax, you may be glad of help from some of your dad’s supporters. Your mum certainly will need them.
Separate WhatsApp for close family, where you can discuss logistics, make decisions together quickly etc.
Allocate one family member only to communicate with the hospital. As an ex nurse myself, it’s sometimes frustrating when multiple family members call in for info, especially during busy periods of time. Also, the more that call, the more that can confuse the story. So pick the best person to represent you and your dad and agree that together. As per previous suggestion, hard facts on WhatsApp, so everyone knows at the same time. This will then prevent any family disagreements. And trust me; these happen at times of stress, even in the most friendly of families.
ICU was never my field, so no practical advice there as I don’t know enough about it. But don’t be afraid to ask one of the nurses if they think you should make a phone appointment to speak to your dad’s hospital consultant.
Remember to ask the nurses if your dad needs anything practical delivering to the ICU.
Finally, find a friend or family member who you can talk to. Don’t keep your feelings bottled up. This could be a long haul, so find a way to keep yourself mentally strong enough to take each day as it comes.
I hope all ends well 