Advice on making a job bearable

[FollowYourOwnNorthStar]

Hi all,

Not sure where to put this, I am hoping Chat is a good place.

My job is unbearable. The pressure, deadlines, managing staff (who’s home problems feel like my own), no support from higher management - I essentially feel like I am responsible for everything in my office of over 30 people (to a certain extend this is managerially true), but with no support. I am on call all the time, and mentally take home the problems of everyone & the office every weekend.

I have come to the conclusion I need a new job, and am applying. I am also putting in some boundaries etc at work to try and help me limit how I feel, but I know that won’t really make a dent. So I have also decided I have to invest significant money and time in making myself feel better outside of work, in order to get through the next 12 months or so until I get another job.

It’s this third part I am asking advice on. Has anyone else been in a similar situation, and if so, what have they done to lift their mood to get them through it? I have the big three - enough sleep every night, diet (as in make sure I am eating good food to get vitamins and minerals), and exercise (for endorphins, not strength or weight related).

I am also giving myself permission to say no to any social obligations that drain me, and to pay for some jobs I hate doing, eg a cleaner.

But none of these help on a day-to-day level, when the pettiness of the day just grinds me down. I don’t want to buy a chocolate bar treat a day, or a glass of wine a day, as I don’t know how long this will go on for, but for the sake of getting out of this job with my mental health intact, should I just say feck it?

Any suggestions???

PS I live in Australia - no Covid restrictions

Thanks for your suggestions. I spent 2 years trying to ‘back-engineer’ and organise the job to be bearable (as I do love the underlying work), but it isn’t possible. I spoke to some other branch managers, and did have some therapy, and it all made me realise the job is like an abusive relationship - I keep wanting or expecting it to change if I just work hard enough, or crack the right code. In truth, I could work around the clock and it wouldn’t be enough.

So my message isn’t about that part of it, but how to get myself through this period until I do get a new job. A friend has suggested a massage a fortnight, to help release stress and toxins, and another suggests countering the ‘Sunday night blues’ With a routine (not sure what?) a third has suggested a very consuming hobby - like learning a language or an instrument, or a team sport with training, where there is not just a lesson a week, but training or ‘homework’ and other people to pull me out of work thinking. I’m not sure if this will just add to my stress or if it s a good idea.

Fresh air, reading, listen to music, venting, long hot showers. I take it day by day as looking at the long week stretching ahead makes me feel suicidal.

Find ways to deattach from the job
Understand it won’t be forever
Have a hot shower when you finish work - and make a commitment not to think about it for the rest of the evening
Seek therapy again - CBT will help

Thank you, they seem like good suggestions. I will start them this week.

I just can’t sleep for worrying about work and can’t stop taking it home

If you can find a good reflexology practitioner, regular sessions are really good for tension and clearing the mind.