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If you want to go veggie, just go veggie!

15 replies

dotdashdashdash · 04/04/2021 21:03

Argh. I am frustrated with DH. We've been together 15+ years. Over that time he's frequently toyed with the idea of going veggie. I'm not veggie and don't want to be but grew up with my mum vegan and my dad not.

Every so often DH watches/ reads/ hears something which makes him think about it again so he says "I'm thinking of going veggie" I always say, ok, fair enough, whatever you want. I do the food shop (online) and ask if he needs/ wants anything and add that to the list. I work shifts (Dr) so we frequently cook and eat separately so he makes his own meal plans.

Everytime, without fail, he adds a few genetic items to the shopping then when it arrives with my meat and stuff he says "oh, I thought WE were going veggie".

Turns out that he can't be arsed to look up any veggie recipes and despite me not wanting to go veggie, seems to think I'll just do a shop for him which magically has veggie meals in! He goes on and on about it for a couple of weeks then forgets about it for a while until it comes up again.

I'm perfectly happy to eat veggy stuff he cooks (as long as it doesn't have my allergens in) and I'm happy to make him a veggie version of whatever I'm making when I cook. But why should I put in the effort when he won't?

Surely, if he wants to go veggie he doesn't need my permission or for me to actively do anything? He's a grown ass man who can eat whatever he does or doesn't want to?

OP posts:
dotdashdashdash · 04/04/2021 21:04

Sorry, it's just a rant!

OP posts:
Veterinari · 04/04/2021 21:09

Surely, if he wants to go veggie he doesn't need my permission or for me to actively do anything? He's a grown ass man who can eat whatever he does or doesn't want to?
Absolutely. What does he say when you point that out to him?

Thatwentbadly · 04/04/2021 21:11

How is he not under the patio Wink

Seriously though, have you actually said this to him. Text him the shopping password and tell him you don’t want to hear another word about it.

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Tryingtowritelikeahumanbeing · 04/04/2021 21:26

Hi Doc, perhaps you shit sit him down and talk to him, like a doctor to a patient.

dotdashdashdash · 04/04/2021 21:32

I have talked to him, a few times. He usually says that he doesn't know what to cook or he thought we could do it together, or he doesn't know when I'm doing the food shop so doesn't know when to do his meal plan (despite him bring able to give me his shopping list at any time, or add to the shop himself) or some other excuse.

He is lovely in every other way 😉

OP posts:
Veterinari · 04/04/2021 21:33

@dotdashdashdash

I have talked to him, a few times. He usually says that he doesn't know what to cook or he thought we could do it together, or he doesn't know when I'm doing the food shop so doesn't know when to do his meal plan (despite him bring able to give me his shopping list at any time, or add to the shop himself) or some other excuse.

He is lovely in every other way 😉

Then just don't accept his excuses. Tell him if he wants to be veggie he has to learn to meal plan and cook but that you aren't interested in doing it for him
dotdashdashdash · 04/04/2021 21:37

Veterinari I have. He muses on it for a few weeks, mentions he's going veggie a few times then drops it. Until the next time.

OP posts:
Persipan · 04/04/2021 21:38

I think next time he says 'I'm thinking of going veggie' you need to say something to reiterate that you yourself aren't going to but he's welcome to. Then he can't do the whole 'but I thought weeeeeeeeeee were doing this togeeeeeeeetheeeeeerrrrrr' bit so easily.

Tryingtowritelikeahumanbeing · 04/04/2021 21:38

Ignore him then. Like you said, if he wants to go veggie, he should go veggie. Not your problem unless you make it one.

LittleBearPad · 04/04/2021 21:39

Buy him a cheap* veggie cookbook. Then he has no excuse.

  • cheap as it will likely be pointless.
Hoppythehippo · 04/04/2021 21:41

“We could do it together” = “You would do the mental load aspect of this for me”

I’d tell him you don’t want to discuss it again. Obviously he can add whatever he wants to the shopping list and you’ll eat anything he cares to make for you both (allergens etc allowing) but you are not becoming vegetarian, planning a vegetarian meal plan or being involved in what he chooses to cook for himself and you never want to discuss it again. He’s being ridiculous.

DeeCeeCherry · 04/04/2021 21:41

How boring.

& You're not his Mum.

He will only go Veggie if you do too + you do the shopping + you think up recipes + you cook all the meals. Just tell him you're wise to that trick and won't be going Veggie anyway so, can he not mention it again as its pointless and uninteresting.

LolaSmiles · 04/04/2021 21:44

It sounds like he is expecting you to facilitate his choices and take on the load. If he was really bothered about going veggie then he would put the effort in, and I say that as someone on a low meat diet who toys with going veggie regularly but is too lazy to make the effort.

dotdashdashdash · 04/04/2021 21:45

LittleBearPad yep, already done that one!

I find it odd, because I don't already do the mental load with regard to shopping/ planning/ cooking because of our differing schedules.

OP posts:
Babyfg · 04/04/2021 22:35

What a strange man. Buy him a load of slim fast shakes and cook your own food. Tell him you thought WE could go on a diet together. Not checked but they're probably vegetarian too.

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