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Original poster

Current covid rules hosting is hard work

97 replies

Orangedaisy · 04/04/2021 21:00

So just had my parents round in the garden for the day. Was wonderful to see them but was crazy hard work for me. Obviously first world problem but wondered if anyone else found this....??

Cleaned downstairs loo for their sole use (access through garage) so whenever I needed to go I had to go upstairs, also same when kids needed bums wiping.

No help with cooking or washing up or grabbing drinks or salt or whatever as they can’t come inside. And wanted to make a bit of effort with food of course as it’s a special day. So more to cook and more clearing up than normal (albeit I was kind to myself with the menu).

No help with kids up close (shoes and coats fastening, reading stories, playing games etc) as we’re sticking with the social distancing.

Kids not great at socialising or taking turns talking so on edge all day trying to temper their behaviour.

Weather extremes meant we needed everything from woolly hats and blankets to parasols and sun hats.

DM and DF tried their best but would usually be right in there helping. DP did help of course.

I’m wiped out!! Anyone else?

OP posts:
RichardMarxisinnocent · 04/04/2021 23:12

@KurtWilde

Also not all of us have 2 bathrooms Hmm
Exactly. I had a friend and her family visit today for a picnic in a nearby park (I live in a garden-less flat). I only have one bathroom and they used that. I gave them their own hand towel and we didn't linger indoors, each person was just there long enough to go to the loo. Are those of us with only one bathroom expected to not have any outdoor meet ups?
Mammyloveswine · 04/04/2021 23:12

@KurtWilde

I think some people seem to be quite enjoying making this harder work than it actually is. Covid safe gatherings will become a competitive sport. Seriously, our children are mixing with countless other children on a daily basis, people are at work mixing with tons of people say after day, and yet some are still fretting over the possibility of Uncle Bert needing the loo during a bbq Confused
Totally agree @KurtWilde
RoseRedRoseBlue · 05/04/2021 02:16

Nailed it @KurtWilde

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Families
Bluntness100 · 05/04/2021 07:42

I think this is an unusual and extreme interpretation of the rules the op has put in place. Not even allowed in to grab the salt. But people need to do what makes them comfortable.

Nellie850 · 05/04/2021 07:45

You’re lucky you get help in normal times, mine and DH’s entire families expect to be waited on hand and foot all the time!

QuidditchQueen · 05/04/2021 07:48

I have to admit I would have no issue whatsoever with them going to grab something from the kitchen or using the same bathroom. In all honesty, how much impact will this really have?
Agree with this.
Sounds bonkers with the separate toilet/watching tv through the window!

actiongirl1978 · 05/04/2021 07:49

Last May/June we were exactly the same.

This weekend, whilst we stuck to the outdoor rules, I didn't make my parents wee in the forest behind our house like I did last year (part of our garden, not forestry commission😁). We all used the same toilet and I briefly chatted to my parents and In laws as they passed through the kitchen.

We didn't use separate cutlery or ketchup bottles.

We did a bbq one day and finger open sandwiches the other. All to be eaten with a napkin.

Managed 4hrs outside on sat and 2hrs on Friday. Kids weren't outside the whole time though.

So whilst it was harder than normal, that's because normal has been doing no entertaining. Entertaining for the first time since Oct half term was hard!

Roll on 17th May and kids can go to GPs overnight and we get a break!

QuidditchQueen · 05/04/2021 07:51

Pulblic toilets/ supermarket toilets are open -obviously many households using them /what’s the problem with your own parents sharing with you?

Whatalottachocca · 05/04/2021 07:54

I think it was your choice to make it so difficult for yourself so can’t really sympathise. We had guests in the garden too. They came through the garage, helping themselves to chairs as they did so and went into the garden. I cleaned the downstairs loo as I normally do when we have guests but then we all used it as normal. We passed each other stuff, they helped carry food/plates in and out of the kitchen. It was all just a normal outdoor meal (and it was gloriously sunny ☀️). I think you need to relax a bit (said in a kindly tone 😉)

loulouljh · 05/04/2021 07:59

Just ignore the rules then!! Do you really think them not walking into the kitchen will make the slightest bit of difference??!!!!! Of course not.

OverTheRubicon · 05/04/2021 08:07

@KihoBebiluPute

The ban on socialising indoors doesn't mean that visitors can't go indoors at all. They can still pop in to fetch the salt or take a stack of dishes to the dishwasher. Just not hang out indoors together.
It actually does mean that though.
sunflowersandbuttercups · 05/04/2021 08:10

We only have one bathroom and so do millions of other families. Ours is also, shock horror, only accessible via the kitchen so people have to go indoors and though the house to access it!

The levels of unnecessary work and effort people put themselves through never ceases to amaze me.

FYI the guidance says people are allowed indoors to use the bathroom so what harm will it do if they stop off via the kitchen to grab a drink on their way out?

tinseloatcake · 05/04/2021 08:16

I think that it is the socialising that is hard. People aren't used to it. Mumsnet is already riddled with people complaining about cheeky fuckers who visit whose expectations of being hosted doesn't match the ops. Just like the old days but ramp it up 1m times

Bluesheep8 · 05/04/2021 08:18

I have to admit I would have no issue whatsoever with them going to grab something from the kitchen or using the same bathroom. In all honesty, how much impact will this really have?

Exactly. And it's within the rules.

Original poster
Orangedaisy · 05/04/2021 08:23

DP did help out.

I know I am fortunate to have parents here and a downstairs loo.

I know it’s my choice to abide by rules or not.

By the afternoon (boat race) it was 17C and sunny, parents were more than happy outside in t shirts.

Thanks to those who made me feel less alone in my approach through what has been a hard year. Happy Easter to all.

OP posts:
itsgettingwierd · 05/04/2021 08:30

We had a family bbq yesterday.

It wasn't so strict!

Food on table and everyone helped themselves - used own cutlery and went up individually.

We washed up afterwards by using kitchen individually and same with sharing a bathroom but using wipes etc.

Dad did the bbq but he always does.

We also played cars games etc - just washed hands before.

Sat outside is very limited risk and we felt like we took a low one - but we weren't limiting ourselves completely.

sandgrown · 05/04/2021 08:31

I think your parents would have to watch tv from outside to keep within the rules and at least the weather was good. I think the lockdown, while a pain, is teaching families and businesses to be more inventive. My local pub is busy marking out the car park in squares with a table in each one. Full marks OP for serving a full meal outside x

devastating · 05/04/2021 08:40

My sister and her partner came over in the afternoon briefly, but they are very cautious and are still bringing their own drinks, plus we didn’t have food - so all we had to do was set up some seating in the garden Blush.

SmidgenofaPigeon · 05/04/2021 08:46

Well you made it hard for yourself.

A lot of people only have one bathroom. You just wash your hands and voila Confused

You don’t need to be a martyr, you can accept help fetching and carrying. Covid isn’t going to keep up and infect you all because granny helped you carry the plates outside or popped to get ketchup.

Yes there’s rules, but once upon a time we all had critical thinking skills and common sense too.

SmidgenofaPigeon · 05/04/2021 08:46

*leap up

SuperintendentHastings · 05/04/2021 08:52

It doesn't seem to have occurred to anyone that perhaps the OPs parents felt more comfortable with this too.

We had MIL here in the garden yesterday. The reason she and she alone used the downstairs bathroom (and yes it's fortunate to have one or she wouldn't have come), is because she still so worried about CoVID and no way would she have come otherwise. DH and I have both been vaccinated but she is unable to have the vaccine herself because of her own health problems. The DCs obviously haven't been vaccinated. She's nervous and worried (she has lost 4 close friends to CoVID) and so it's not so much about being rigidly strict with the rules (though we've followed the guidelines from the start anyway), it's to make sure that my 80 year old MIL feels comfortable enough to come here.

There's so much mocking both ways on these boards about people who either are or aren't following the rules, we're all just trying to get through this as best we can.

Original poster
Orangedaisy · 05/04/2021 08:54

@SuperintendentHastings you’re entirely right, my parents wanted it this way too, and I’m trying to make them comfortable. They are devastated not to cuddle kids but don’t want to take risks. After second vaccination and period after they have decided to start hugging again. Entirely their choice.

OP posts:
IceCreamAndCandyfloss · 05/04/2021 08:55

I wouldn’t find hosting outdoors any more stressful than inside but I don’t expect guests to pitch it or do childcare.

SmidgenofaPigeon · 05/04/2021 08:58

You had two adults able to host AND help kids put on coats shoes etc though. Your DP was there. It’s nice to have a few extra pairs of hands but I’m not really sure why two able adults weren’t enough to make the whole thing less stressful.

Itsalonghaul · 05/04/2021 09:02

I found it hard work in a different way. We were to a family lunch, and some people have totally lost their filters. It was overwhelming, the talking at me, the kids feeling quite stressed and nervous, the weather so cold one minute and baking the next. I didn't feel like I could think straight with the noise. It was overwhelming. Everyone drinking a bit too much, and off loading.

I was looking forward to socialising again until yesterday. Now I am not so sure, and perhaps need to slow down. It was completely full on, and not in a good way. Perhaps people feel they are being released, but gentle conversation seems to have gone out of the window!