How do you navigate different diets with kids?

[WhatTheFlap]

DH and I are expecting our first child in July which we are both over the moon about.

I'm vegan and have been for about 5 years, DH eats everything and between us this has never been an issue. I do most of the cooking and will usually just sub out meat for an alternative, or he eats veggie/vegan meals.

The question has been raised a few times in terms of what DS will eat when he's older. I would rather not give him a huge amount of meat/dairy whenever I can avoid it. Not necessarily raising him vegan, but just choosing veggie/vegan meals as much as possible.

DH isn't particularly keen on this and wants to raise him eating meat/dairy like most other kids. I'm not saying this is wrong, it's what most people do - it's just not something I would choose for my own child.

Has anyone else encountered this issue? How did you come to an agreement? We did discuss this a while back before I was pregnant but I think when it was hypothetical DH wasn't that fussed, now we've got DS on the way he's more bothered at the thought of a restricted diet!

I think both of us are equally valid in our points, but as I'm the main chef in the house it's likely going to come down to whatever I prepare. I just think DH is a bit cautious of the idea of limiting what he eats when at other people's houses/in restaurants etc.

yeOldeTrout

Not a myth
There have been programmes on it. I think the longest lived people are on an island in Japan. People in their 100s sweeping the front of their house and riding bicycles and generally looking after themselves with no ailments. Then there are the American areas that because of religion have vegan/vegetarian supermarkets.

It isn’t just that people live to being very very old but that they don’t suffer from the same deterioration that elderly meat eating people do.

Your DH isn’t asking you to make meals that you don’t want to make. He simply wants to be able to provide variety when he is the parent providing the choices.

One important thing to realize is that no matter your beliefs on how to raise your child, your child may have very different ideas. Ours turned out to have sensory issues that required specialists and significant compromises on what counts as a healthy diet. Parenting is like that. You have to be flexible.

There have been programmes on it. I think the longest lived people are on an island in Japan.
I think you are talking about the Okinawa diet which is not vegetarian, they eat meat and fish, although in smaller quantities than Western diets. The main difference between Okinawa and mainland Japanese diet is that Okinawans eat less rice and grain and more sweet potatoes.

I’m vegetarian and my husband is not. Some nights we have meat free meals and some nights I’ll do meat and meat free (eg chicken-y noodles and tofu noodles).

I just give the kids a bit of both. Ultimately as adults they’ll make their own choice, and when they’re small then so long as they eat then great!

For what it’s worth, one is a little carnivore and will inhale meat whereas they other doesn’t care for meat as much.

You absolutely can raise healthy vegan children from birth (or from conception!)

Obviously a picky vegan toddler who lives off crackers and white toast isn't going to be any healthier than a picky omni toddler who does the same, but that's just the challenge of having children.
Small children do need more fat than adults, so make sure to include plenty of nuts (in a way that isn't a choking hazard and at allergy-suitable times), avocado, chopped linseeds / flaxseeds, hemp oil etc.

Many families do choose to allow the child to eat small amounts of non-veggie food when out at parties etc where other people have put out snacks to share, as they feel it is better not to have to say "No!" and upset the child when others can eat everything.

Obviously when the child is old enough to understand the issues they may choose to eat meat and that would be their own choice to make.

It is a bit difficult when one parent is not veggie though. How do you explain why "We don't eat that" when Dad eats it? You might be able to compromise where the child eats vegan most of the time, but foods which their dad feels particularly strongly about sharing (sentimental reasons- family recipes, good memories from his own childhood etc) they can eat together sometimes.

For anyone interested:

The NHS says "As long as they get all the nutrients they need, children can be brought up healthily on a vegetarian or vegan diet."
www.nhs.uk/live-well/eat-well/vegetarian-and-vegan-diets-q-and-a/

The UK Vegan Society has information for different age groups
www.vegansociety.com/resources/nutrition-and-health/life-stages/under-fives

This book has good information about nutrition needs at all ages
veganhealth.org/vegan-for-life-new-and-improved/

A few pointers by one of the authors of the above book
www.theveganrd.com/2012/11/a-healthy-start-for-vegan-children/

there are the American areas that because of religion have vegan/vegetarian supermarkets

That's the 7th day Adventists in ... Loma Linda?
30% are vegetarian, mostly ovo-lacto vegetarian; the other 70% eat fish &/or meat. Not especially vegan.

They also avoid caffeine & alcohol. And have huge community spirit. There's a lot to their recipe for good health. The most vegetarian 7DAs lived a little longer than either vegans or non-vegetarians.