Struggling with my children growing up!

[someoneiou]

I know this sounds so pathetic but the last week or so I've been getting teary-eyed thinking about my DC growing up.

They are 3 and 2 and I am absolutely LOVING their ages at the moment. I just want them to stay this age forever.

But then DC1 will start school next September and even thinking about it makes my heart hurt.

I'm a SAHM. Not sure if that makes a difference but just to add context.

Anyone else felt similar? How did you cope?

Just me then

Can not advise but it breaks my heart that my LO is growing. I should really stop him sleeping in my bed but I know it will not last forever

My three are teenagers and my eldest nearly 18. I do miss them as babies and toddlers but they are really fab now - so it’s not like just a loss and no gain. They are still funny and sweet and they can now do things for me (sometimes). I think you’ll find your kids fascinating at every age - so although you do mourn the loss of the previous ages there is something in its place. Plus I quite like lie one and being able to just leave the house by myself.

Kids grow up
They become amazing people at every stage.

The alternative is..... ??

If you feeling v tearful speak to a counsellor

Maybe look for a job or volunteer? Become teacher or teaching assistant at the school?

@Embracelife

Kids grow up They become amazing people at every stage.

The alternative is..... ??

If you feeling v tearful speak to a counsellor

Maybe look for a job or volunteer? Become teacher or teaching assistant at the school?

I think a job or volunteering might be what I need to fill the void.

I feel the same as each phase passes. 3 and 2 is such a special age, but you will have many more years of enjoyment too. It’s perfectly ok to feel teary, that just shows how much you are enjoying it. You will also love the future too. Children are the gift that keeps on giving! They are a true privilege x

I have a 4 & 5 year old. Eldest started school last September. Youngest goes this September. I'm also feeling the same way as you! One minute they are babies and the next all grown up, going to school & losing a tooth. 🥺

I vividly remember on dds 3rd birthday getting upset at the thought that in 1 year she would be 4 and that was such a grown up age.

It gets even better!

Yes they're not as squishy and cute but you get to see who they are, what they think, what ideas they have and you get to see the world with fresh eyes as they ask questions that haven't occurred to you!

I'm loving my dc growing up! They're more interesting to talk and listen to and it's fascinating watching them become their own people. They're 10 & 8. I do look at photos of them as little toddlers and think how sweet they were but it was such hard work that I'd hate to go back and stay there.

I absolutely adore my child at all ages. Teenager now. He is so awesome I just think I must be an amazing mum! It is emotionally hard as they grow but it's all part of the job!

I sympathise. Mine are quite big now and they're utterly wonderful but now I'm generally GOAT rather than mummy! (Fair enough from a 15 yo but it was only yesterday she was a squishy newborn!)

I find the best cure is to cuddle other people's babies - I'm relieved to give them back and go back to my infuriating argumentative empathetic thoughtful beasts. At least they can articulate what they want! That might not be ideal if you're still in the baby/ toddler stage though.

Thanks everyone - keep the positive stories coming!

I know it's inevitable they'll grow up but I feel like all of a sudden I'm out of that really hard and exhausting baby phase where I have no headspace or time for myself, and now I'm getting chunks of my day back where they'll play with each other and leave me alone, or watch a film together for an hour+ and I'll slip away for a cup of tea in peace and then I'm left with my own thoughts about "is that it then? Hard work is done! Where have my babies gone 🥺"

"Hard work is done!"

Uh huh....the hard work comes later.
More emotional support

3 and 2???

Wait until they're 14 and 16 and you think about them leaving home. Now that is something to struggle with... I'd love to be back to the 3 and 2 year olds... well, sometimes 😉

I understand but there is fun stuff ahead, honestly. Their nativity plays are amazing, sports matches and they will want to watch good stuff on tv instead of peppa pig.

Each stage is fun, if it lasted forever it would soon become tiresome. Having said that my eldest is moving away to university in September I’m happy for him but going to miss him so much.

We have a 6 mo and 2 yo and we literally had this conversation yesterday! We did our eldest a 'big girl' room and I could have cried! I love these ages. I know there are so many other wonderful things to come, and that's the important thing. Like another poster has said we should probably stop letting our eldest sleep in our bed but there will come a time where she doesn't want to anymore, and we enjoy her snuggles 🥰

I think that’s natural, I feel the same some days!! Embrace it, cry, let it pass. It’s not wrong! You don’t have to ‘do’ anything (go back to work etc , unless you want to) except accept that you’ll always have moments of this, and just try and enjoy every tiny minute. They’ll be your lovely babies at every stage and there’s so much fun to come.

Do you want to trade? My youngest is 1 and I'm ashamed to say I sometimes have to stop myself counting down the days until she is a bit older...she is adorable but so much hard work!! My 4 year old is much easier but still super cute, have to say I do prefer that age...

Wait until they're 14 and 16 and you think about them leaving home

18 and 21 here , University students and living at home . My DS (21) has made some noises about getting work experiene post-grad in London so will still be living with us ( he's a saver so I'm sure he'll work/save /plan for a deposit somewhere affordable where he can take his experience )

Enjoy them ! I look wistfully at parents of primary school/pre-school DC when it gets near times like Christmas, Easter, Hallowe'en.
The innocence of the excitement . Counding the days and making it magical with the simplest things . Unlike the older DC who just want to sleep late, eat dinner and yak to friends even just online .
I make mine sit at the table for dinner on special occasions , Crime of the Century

I like to look in at my DS sleeping , his little still face is so relaxed .
Not in the least bit weird ! .

@RowanAlong

I think that’s natural, I feel the same some days!! Embrace it, cry, let it pass. It’s not wrong! You don’t have to ‘do’ anything (go back to work etc , unless you want to) except accept that you’ll always have moments of this, and just try and enjoy every tiny minute. They’ll be your lovely babies at every stage and there’s so much fun to come.

This is lovely

@MrsJBaptiste

3 and 2???

Wait until they're 14 and 16 and you think about them leaving home. Now that is something to struggle with... I'd love to be back to the 3 and 2 year olds... well, sometimes 😉

Definitely not looking forward to the teen years! At least DC are so close in age that I'll get it over with in a short(er) period of time 😬

Maybe you want another baby? I said the same this evening my two are getting so old to me, nearly 7 and 10 and I don't know where the years have gone and I jokingly said I may have to have another to cling onto the baby years. I know that when I am older and the kids have grown up these will be the years I am living through now which will be a blur and I will miss, it's just so hard to absorb it at the time until it's too late and a nostalgic memory 😭

I am in teen territory now but I remember going through a really strong phase of feeling like this op - and I had forgotten about it until I read your thread - it was when we moved from the infant to starting school stage. I really didn't want infanthood to end as I loved all the messy craft and imaginary play and really enjoyed that aspect of parenting. Also, I think you feel incredibly protective towards them at that age. The feeling took a long time to go away, but the DC grow and acquire different skills, and everything get busier, and things move on naturally, and then you realise you don't feel the same way anymore. You still love them to death of course but they gradually become individuals separate from you, with their own interests, views and opinions. (And adolescence is designed to support that process ).

Take care op. I know it's hard but try not to let this feeling get in the way of you enjoying your DC at the age they are now. This too shall pass