Tell me a joke... rude ones only

[LittleToasterx]

I'll start off with a light one:

I said to my husband that I wasn't comfortable performing oral sex

"Not to worry" he replied "Here's a cushion for you to kneel on"

What’s the biggest drawback of the jungle?

An elephant’s foreskin 🐘

What’s hairy on the outside, soft and wet on the inside, starts with C, ends with T and has a U and an N in it?

Answer - a coconut of course!

Masochist: whip me!
Sadist: no!

What's an Australian kiss?

Same as French but down under.

What do men and floor tiles have in common?

Lay them right the first time and you can walk all over them!