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Original poster

DD won't read - what am I doing wrong?

34 replies

DefinitelyOdd · 01/04/2021 18:40

My DD turned two in February. She is currently behind in her speech milestones and we are on the waiting list for a referral to SALT. Until then I keep getting the same advice of talk to her more, narrate your games and read to/with her.

I do the first two but its the third that I struggle with because everytime I open a book and begin to read she either closes the book or pulls it out of my hands and throws it on the floor. She won't look at the pictures or engage in anyway with them. I have tried different types of books from pop ups and those touchy-feely ones to pictures books with little rhyming couplets. I've tried books with puppets, books with matching toys in bags from the library. She also doesn't engage with nursery rhymes apart from Happy and I Know it.

She is a very busy girl and likes building things, being outside or just pottering about. I read to her at bedtimes, naptimes and every other opportunity I can. What am I missing?

OP posts:

TeenMinusTests · 01/04/2021 19:05

Perhaps she hasn't got the patience to sit and listen yet?

How about trying

audio stories in the car / bath
nursery rhymes in car / bath

BluebellsGreenbells · 01/04/2021 19:06

Try audio books
Listen to them as an adult
Read a book to yourself and let her see you reading

Chillychangchoo · 01/04/2021 19:08

She’s only 2?? Maybe she just doesn’t want to read just yet because she’s too busy. My eldest was similar, he never had time for that at age 2. He’s 11 now and super bright, literally top of the class. He still doesn’t read himself for fun mind, but we make him do half an hour a day.

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SleepingStandingUp · 01/04/2021 19:09

Are you expecting her to read it tho? She's 2! Sounds like there's some implied pressure when she sees a book.

Can you do storytime? Get some of her characters to loosely act out a story you can recite - 3 pigs, Cinderella etc. Act it out and make it exciting so she loves the story and then tell her it's on a book and give her the book alone to explore?

PhillipPhillop · 01/04/2021 19:12

Does she ever see you or anyone else reading a book? If not, maybe she thinks that's what they're for!

Cahu58 · 01/04/2021 19:14

Get her eyes tested, I'm not sure if she's too young but I had this with DD2 and she needed glasses. So the sooner the better.

Camomila · 01/04/2021 19:15

She might just not like books yet/want to play? DS1 had no problems with speech but didn't like picture books until he was 2.5/nearly 3. He reads/writes fine in reception.

DS2 enjoys them already at 14m, I think its just different personality.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 01/04/2021 19:17

My LO went through a stage of doing this - I was worried because we’ve always read- I wouldn’t switch to audio books just keep trying, when book shops open let her pick one perhaps, eventually the phase passed and she loves books again (now 3)

picklemewalnuts · 01/04/2021 19:22

Are you getting the right kind of books for her age and interest? One of our favourites was called something like 'where's the kitten?'.
It was a flap book, and the tot lifts the flap to find the kitten. We'd say 'where's the kitten.... There's the kitten!' in a sing song voice with every page.
There we lots of similar things, according to your baby's interest.

There's no sense of making them look, or staying to the end of the book.

Original poster

DefinitelyOdd · 01/04/2021 19:28

I'm a massive reader so she always sees me with a book and there is usually an audio book playing as I got sick of the radio during the first lockdown. I did switch to a book of fairy tales recently and some of the Julia Donaldson ones but she couldn't care less.

I'm not expecting her to read them and am happy for her to potter while I read aloud but the reaction if I read to her is so extreme - she screams and come over to grab the book. Initially I thought she wanted me to play but she doesn't.

Its just hard when I'm pushing for a SALT and hearing referral and all I get back is 'talk to her and read to her'.

OP posts:

GingerFreaker · 01/04/2021 19:52

What is she like when you read to her at bedtime? Does she grab the book out of your hands then, or is she relaxed and content?

Maybe she just likes to be busy during the day.

And she's only just turned 2. I don't remember mine sitting still at that age,

Original poster

DefinitelyOdd · 01/04/2021 19:55

She doesn't do it at nap or bedtime as she's usually snuggled down in bed. Maybe she is just a busy personality and not quite ready for reading.

OP posts:

FindingMeno · 01/04/2021 19:56

I don't think you're doing anything wrong.
My dc's love reading and loved being read to, but 2 is very young and there's lots of time for more interest to develop when she feels more ready imo.

NoSquirrels · 01/04/2021 19:59

I read to her at bedtimes, naptimes and every other opportunity I can.

If she enjoys a bedtime story then it’s all good - don’t force a book on her when she doesn’t want it because it will become a battle and that’s the opposite of what you want.

Don’t stress! Talking, listening, narrating play & activities are all more important than the books per se - and I say this as a big reader.

Saz12 · 01/04/2021 20:05

Talk to her instead. Just keep up an easy chatter, narrate your day, make it easy to link words with meaning. She clearly doesn’t want you to read to her, so maybe ask her “shall we read a story” and when she pushes it away, give her the word “No? OK, you don’t want the story just now”...

There’s no point forcing her as she’ll really not like reading then. Does she associate book with sleep, and is pushing it away because she’s not wanting to sleep? Or has she just got more important things to do?!

LostArcher · 01/04/2021 20:12

If she has a speech and language need then she likely doesn't understand the vocab and language. Attention is a huge huge factor in speech and language acquisition and it is very hard (exceptionally so at this young age) to discern whether language is weaker due to poor attention on attention is poor because there are communication issues. She is very little so I would keep to one and two word direct commands to her. She has no clue what you are talking about when reading a book. She hears it as blah blah blah. Just pick one page with one word so a feely book would be a bit of fur so you say 'soft' and let her feel. She's clearly learning through activity so engage with her via that. It would not be unusual for a speech and language affected child not to be able to rhyme but part of me is thinking she is still very young.

Hollyhead · 01/04/2021 20:21

My DS1 now 9 only tolerated stories at nightly that age and didn’t truly enjoy storytime until much nearer 4. All children are different. DS also preferred photographic factual books to anything made up with beautiful illustrations. Try the DK series called ‘let’s get talking’ my first words/my first animals etc. Lots of real life photos to look at. I think some of the more artistic illustrations you get in books are less accessible for young children.

Tickledtrout · 01/04/2021 20:22

Does she listen to your voice,? Try making up and telling her stories using her toys. Short stories that encourage her to listen, "teddy is riding the bike. Is he going to the shop for an ice-cream?" Put on voices and sound effects. And if she throws teddy to the floor, pretend to be teddy, "oh no, I crashed! I want to go and get my ice cream"etc. Get her hooked into symbolic play and short stories then she'll see what stories are.
Does she ever point at pictures? Posters? Big picture books can give you something to describe too. Follow her interest.

Hollyhead · 01/04/2021 20:22

Oh and the ‘that’s not my’ books they were also a hit.

LemonRoses · 01/04/2021 20:22

Has she got action books rather than story books? Dear Zoo, Each Peach, Pear Plum, and lift the flap things or noisy books. Is reading fun rather than something she has to do? Making animal noises to the right picture, pressing the noisy button and finding the three bears is still pre reading and language skills.

I think the idea of reading is about a language rich environment rather than the reading per se. Rhymes, counting, point and name, taking as you post shapes, more rhymes etc etc.

Newchances · 01/04/2021 20:27

Sounds like you are trying your best. Does she ever see other children listening to a book being read? Or could she "borrow" a book from her friend friend,might seem more exciting?

Also I think you can get a private SALT referral if that is something you feel you need ASAP?

Takwxiab2 · 01/04/2021 20:30

I think the reason you are being reminded about talking to her lots and reading is because a salt assessment and if agreed she needs some intervention will only be for an hour at a time or so.

Language develops from hearing lots language, repetition and making connections hence reading as its visual images and words together. If she isn't interested in books just make sure you are talking about objects around you, when going for a walk point at things and repeat e..g dog, tree etc.

Some children do take longer to start speaking but catch up once they start speaking. If no other concerns about her development it may be that they feel she will start speaking soon and not need SALT therapy.

Definately push for hearing check though.
SALT will be such a short part of support. Most falls onto parents and early years settings doing modelling of language day in day out.Also remember to pause and give her a chance to "communicate" even if it is just a syllable sound in response.

All the best :)

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 01/04/2021 20:33

Dear zoo is a great one to get her interested again in books. Also my LO quite likes me to read to her when she’s in the bath

Original poster

DefinitelyOdd · 01/04/2021 20:33

Thank you for all your responses. I agree with the posters saying that it might be a comprehension issue. As I said the only nursery song she engage with is Happy and I know it and she lights up doing the actions. Trying others is hard because she just wants to play with her building/stacking stuff or be in the garden. So the stories are too advanced for her but she just won't accept the simpler books in the day time. And if I read them at night she is dozing off so not engaging there to learn them either if that makes sense.

I want to get her hearing checked but post covid waiting lists have grown massively. We had a telephone assessment in January as her dad's family have a history of glue ear and we are still waiting for a physical appointment.

Oh well, back to me narrating like a cheap imitation of David Attenborough! Luckily she does like my voice and I am able to make up stories with her toys due to a creative background.

OP posts:

schroeder · 01/04/2021 20:45

Try not to have stuff on in the background, even audio books. Then just keep talking to her about your day, it helps to be a bit dramatic.
Don't worry about books for now, it sounds like she senses you are keen for her to engage with them and being two she says "no"
My ds was a late talker and had a bit of speech therapy and was totally fine by the time he went to school, really try not to worry. Just try and enjoy doing things she enjoys, maybe you could try a bit of bedtime scribbling or simple puzzles? There's no need to force books and language on her.

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