Toilet anxiety every morning before work

[anxiousnamechangeeee]

For the last few years I have had a lot of anxiety about bowel movements and work. I don't know where it has come from, but I think maybe when I had stomach flu and I passed out and was in agony and ever since then I'm worried I'll faint from a stomach ache or something. I also worry about my stomach rumbling or making noises or needing to go to the number two at work.

I spent around an hour in total every morning before work on the loo and I literally force myself to go enough that I won't need to go when I'm at work (I work 12 hrs). I get anxious about what I eat the night before work in case it gives me a stomach ache and I stick to "safe" foods. At one point I was eating porridge for 3 meals a day as that's a "safe" food. At work I avoid eating and drinking as much as possible as I'm worried it will stimulate my digestive system so I can sometimes go 8-12 hours without food. I'm constantly hyperaware of my stomach and I end up with a stomach ache or feeling bloated nearly everyday so my practices of sticking to bland food and skipping lunch isn't helpful.

The thing is I have no food intolerances/sensitivity and no IBS. When I'm not at work I don't think twice about any of this.

I didn't realise how bad it has gotten until seeing all of this written down as I write out this post.

Does anyone else experience this or have any advice? It's a really embarrassing topic that I haven't told anyone about. I'm stick of getting up at 5:30am before work just so I have enough time to go to the loo.

Also I know this is a weird topic but I promise I'm not a troll.

I sympathise with your poo anxiety but it's getting out of control.
Have you roamed the entire building you work in to identify the quietest and most private toilets?
Carry a can of vipoo and air freshener, and make sure you put loo roll down the toilet before you go to muffle the sound.
If you're well prepared you'll be ok to go at work.

Oh I have a milder case of this too OP.

Are there any toilets that are private at work? Perhaps a little walk away from your desks/offices?

Perhaps planning out your route to the toilet will help you not to panic, as and when you feel the need to go.

I've had some very close calls at work and needing the loo. It's made me very conscious about needing/going to the loo.

I empathise and know how debilitating it can be. I used to work in an office that had one unisex loo right in the middle of the office floor with desks all around. You could hear everything! So awkward! I wouldn't eat breakfast and ate my lunch as late as I could bear to.

My DP has this and it really started affecting his life: struggling to go to work, cancelling days out, planning every route everywhere based on where the nearest toilets were.

One particular day out (my birthday!) where I had to go on my own because he was too scared to leave the jokes really hit home to him.

You've hit that point now @anxiousnamechangeeee so this is a good thing! Now you're recognising it you can start moving forward.

In my DP's case he spoke with his GP who referred him to a local Mind charity and the NHS funded 6 weeks of CBT. It's honestly worked wonders and helped him organise his thoughts and concerns.

He does still have the stomach issues that caused the anxiety but is now able to work his way through the fear.

Good luck!

I think a referral for counselling is the right step, cbt is often quite fast and effective. Well done for posting and please don't feel embarrassed we all have our own relationship with shitting! Best of luck xxx

I could have written this.

I can't just up and go to the toilet at work and this means I don't eat a thing at work. I will only drink one cup of water and won't eat before work "just incase"
It's in no way healthy, I often finish up with a sore head and feel lightheaded.
Unfortunately I don't have any answers just sympathising with you.

I don't have any advise but similar have problems to the extent ( before Covid) I would even leave the building just to go to the toilet in the shopping centre. I would find it really stressful, I get really anxious on day trips go places like a forest that will have limited toilets snd I worry about what I eat / drink too.

Although I think your case is a little extreme OP, I think this is actually more common than you think. I do think a referral might help, it sounds really quite debilitating.

It's strange as it is only ever to do with work. I don't get anxious on days off even if I'm going somewhere where there are no loos. It makes me wonder whether it is anxiety about work manifesting into toilet anxiety instead?

At work there are some loos that are open to the public and I think I would feel more comfortable there rather than where I could bump into colleagues. I never even need to go at work, it's just the fear of it.

It's a relief that others have similar experiences, I felt so embarrassed writing this thread.

That's a very good point OP, do you enjoy your job?

Oh please don't be embarrassed OP!

My partner is struggling with toilet anxiety too. He’s been having hypnotherapy but we are also looking into CBT! Good to know it’s worked well for your partner! How is he doing now x

I have no advice Op but I just wanted to let you know that it's a fairly normal struggle that so many people go through. I wouldn't get into cars for years because I was worried id be desperate for the loo and the driver wouldn't stop at services etc it stemmed from years of abuse so wasn't actually about the needing the toilet at all iyswim? Is there an issue at work causing you stress?

I empathise with all of your original post OP - I was almost exactly the same, although it wasn't so much fear of pain/passing out as having the runs whilst at work or whilst out. Or, having the runs at all actually. I adopted very similar coping mechanisms to those you describe.

I improved with 10 weeks of CBT when I was quite young - it helps you to understand that the thoughts are not rational, and generally speaking your body has a way of not letting you down at crucial moments! I've made it through to 50 and my worst fears HAVE happened, but not with the frequency and heinous consequences that you might imagine. CBT teaches you to try playing out your worst fear and saying out loud what the absolute worst thing to happen would be - when you get it out there, it sounds a bit silly and you realise that as an adult, you'll handle it. People with medical conditions have to do it every day, I always remind myself. I do have IBS although not too badly.

Sadly one thing did happen which set me back slightly - DH and I bought a campervan, and on one of our first trips away I got up in the night with mild tummy discomfort for a poo, in a terribly cramped, hot and fusty camper bathroom which stunk of chemicals - came over peculiar and fainted, scaring the crap out of poor DH. The fainting was followed by an hour of the worst diarrhoea of my life, in the same cramped and boiling hot chemical toilet cupboard, although after that I was absolutely fine. So random...

Now whenever we go away I am nervous of it being too warm in the van, nervous of eating too much and feeling full, and nervous of having to poo in there especially at night. Which means I've reverted to some of my old coping skills - eating very little when we're away, eating beige and safe "low residue" foods like white bread and biscuits and rejecting any fibre etc. In my worst times I used to pop immodium like sweets, but I don't do that anymore!

My record for not going is 9 days. Terrible really! It's a shame because my DH suffers with anxious tension at home, and going away in the van is the only time he is able to fully relax - and conversely, now when we're away I get really anxious!

Probably no help but you certainly are not alone - I know it feels like you must be crazy and you could never tell anyone in real life. Thank God for the internet, didn't have that when I was a teenager and going to several chemists in town to score my poop pills...

Oh - I kept a diary/journal thing for a while, which was useful at tracking the wayward thoughts and getting them in perspective.