Why is there is such a poor perception of overweight and obese people?

[Ilovecreamycoffee]

In my home country, not the UK, the vaccine rollout, is so slow and its being prioritised on vulnerabilities such as age and underlying conditions obesity with a bmi of 40 or more being one of them. There's such a poor attitude towards this as if everyone who is obese deserves to die of covid just for being fat and for making macdonalds into their second home. As if everyone who is fat eats macdonalds everyday.

I am overweight obese/with a bmi of about 35.

A lot of my weight issues came from childhood and poverty where my parents fed me a diet that was high in carbs. I suppose because it was cheap. So I had very little nutrition growing up. I was always able to maintain my size at a size 16 until my mid 20s and my weight shot up. At that stage it was definitely a mixture of a poorer food choices thinking they were great like a bowl of special k for breakfast and other marketing stuff. A lot of my issues though was genuinely not having the time for exercise. I don't drive so I walked to work but I learned that wasn't enough. I can remember an episode in work where I went to work on Thursday morning. I suppose to finish on Thursday night but it turned out there I didn't finish until Friday night. There was a bed for me at work to put my head down. I never had a change of clothes or a toothbrush or deodorant. I can remember so many similar episodes. Work took over my life. My time was never my own. Any time I got a day off it was spent catching up with the squalor that gets strewn about from one end of the day to the next. Somehow I was supposed manage to find time to exercise and run off 17 stones of fat and make healthy food choices.

It's only really over the past few years I was able to fine tune my diet to better food choices and habits. I think the biggest change was ditching cereals and going for something more clean like eggs and veg. I do have to rise earlier to get a good breakfast, otherwise I am rushing.

I hate the perception that is online that all fat people eat in macdonalds everyday. When that's not the case at all.

It’s not about whether you eat McDonald’s every day (or are perceived to). I’m active and my maintenance calories are 2,100 a day (BMI 21) - I could eat McDonald’s three times a day if I wanted to, and still maintain my weight, although it wouldn’t be particularly nutritiously dense. If I didn’t exercise then I’d probably only be able to eat closer to 1,500 to maintain my weight.

In the UK it’s estimated that 67% of men and 60% of women are overweight or obese. I can guarantee you that 60 plus percent of the population doesn’t have a health condition causing that - it’s often bad food choices, bad portion control and a lack of exercise. It’s not fat shaming to point this out. You even admit in your OP that you made bad food choices which led to you being overweight.

I’m not saying there aren’t reasons for that, and I agree it isn’t as simple as “eat less and move more” when there are psychological issues at play, or someone doesn’t understand nutrition, or comes from a background that was lacking in that department. It doesn’t come naturally to some.

But ultimately you do choose whether to over eat or not. I choose not to. DH is obese, because he eats too much. He knows he shouldn’t, but he does it anyway, because he doesn’t care about his weight. His parents are also obese. Our teenage DC aren’t, because they’re fed healthy balanced meals and actively choose to exercise.

Insulting people for their weight, however, is not ok.

I think it's often viewed as an addiction. A food addiction. People with addictions are often viewed as weak and lacking willpower. If alcoholic and drug addicts were particularly vulnerable to the virus and were prioritised for the vaccine, there would be outcry. Maybe it's similar. I don't agree that obese people shouldn't be prioritised btw.

I do have to admit OP that there seemed to be a lot of "excuses" in your OP. About your stressful time consuming job etc. That is self defeating.

You're an addict too: an oxygen addict, a food addict, a water addict. You are helpless to do anything about your need for these things. Why don't you try denying yourself these things through your sheer willpower and seeing how far you get? Maybe you could try seeing the needs of other addicts through the lens of your own addictions & find a little compassion.

@mellicauli

You're an addict too: an oxygen addict, a food addict, a water addict. You are helpless to do anything about your need for these things. Why don't you try denying yourself these things through your sheer willpower and seeing how far you get? Maybe you could try seeing the needs of other addicts through the lens of your own addictions & find a little compassion.

Is this directed at me? I have loads of compassion myself for all addicts. I was trying to suggest why others may not. So many people don't have empathy for addicts.

Your working conditions sound terrible OP. That cannot be helping you.

@LaceyBetty The way I read it you told her she was an addict and she should pull herself together & stop making excuses. I thought was a bit deficient on the empathy front. Towards the OP, who isn't necessarily an addict, nor towards people with addictions.

Because obesity is a lifestyle choice. Having been obese myself in the past, I should know.

I, and I alone, am solely responsible for what I choose to put in my mouth. Nobody force-feeds me with mountains of unhealthy crap.

@mellicauli right. No, I was trying to say that people with addictions are viewed badly and that is why people might view obese people badly (as was the OP's question). I don't agree. But, that being said, the excuse of being an addict isn't great either (and I say this as someone who struggles not with weight, but with alcohol).

@Susie477 so because you yourself were once obese you feel qualified to say it's a lifestyle choice for every single obese person.really!!
I'm obese and I can assure you it isn't a lifestyle choice!! It's a part of my mental illness and anxieties,its the result of some parts and a coping mechanism of others but I would never CONSCIOUSLY choose to be obese!

I’ve never heard anyone saying overweight people deserve to die from covid.

Yes I can see why some are getting slightly frustrated that people with health issues that, in the most part, are self inflicted are getting vaccinated first as this possibly delays their vaccination.

We are bombarded with adverts for food 24/7 so it's hardly surprising that people overeat.

Yeah I mean being obese is far more complex than someone who just feels like chocolate all the time. Food is used as a coping mechanism, as a comfort, as so many things other than greed. Don't get me wrong it's not a good thing at all to be overweight or obese. It's not healthy and should not be promoted. It should be actively avoided. But I think people should be more sensitive to the clearly complex reasons why someone might be obese as there are many issues involved in the outward result of obesity... It's a bit narrow minded to assume they are simply greedy and just like ice cream more than other people 🤷‍♀️

@OverTheRainbow88 yes I can also see that. It must seem frustrating to others that someone with a high BMI gets the vaccine first when the reason they have a high BMI is most likely to be due to lifestyle factors. But I also think like I said before that there are so many things at play with someone who is obese it's a complex mental situation.

I am very good friends with someone who is 95 kg. 171 cm. She asked me to help her lose weight as i lost 10 kgs a couple years ago and have kept it off. We speak daily. Since we started one month ago i have lost a smidge under 2 kgs as food/ excercise is back at the forefront of my mind. She has lost 0.5kg. The plans have been grand and drastic and she is lying to herself and, frankly, to me. It has been eye opening. Not managed a food nor exercise diary out of her. And we text DAILY as she wants my support. The level of denial has been so interesting.

Historically, obesity would be associated with moral vice such as gluttony. In a world of unreliable food supply, you'd want people to have a fair share. Rationing is still in living memory and it's only in the last few decades that access to food has been reliable and plentiful to the vast majority.

Add in lifestyle changes (activity level) food quality, advertising, life expectancy (especially with chronic illness) and medical change (side effects from medicines, contraception) and the changes to society have been far quicker than biology and general culture has adjusted to.

I have a bmi of over 40. I’ve been too ashamed to admit that and get the vaccine. I’ll get it when my age group are invited. I should have had a risk assessment at work and possibly worked at home longer, I didn’t.

I’m well aware of the attitudes the op is referring to. My own may well kill me one day.

The posters piling on here and thinking they are helping by kindly and gently telling the op the risks of their obesity are as bad as the explicitly rude fat shamers in my experience. They are insulting the intelligence of obese people like a bunch of well-intentioned missionaries.

We know!!

We just don’t have the emotional reserves to address it.

Obesity is an incredibly complex and sensitive topic.

Up until my mid twenties, I was very fit and slender. During this time I experience trauma that I buried internally. I then used food to literally create a barrier from that ever happening again and as a form of self punishment - subconsciously.

Now in my early 30s over the past few months I've been undertaking serious therapy to deal with my history, and the weight is dropping off. I've gone from obese III to 5 kilos away from being overweight.

Have I received a negative perception? My career could not be better, so not there. Dating wise, probably yes but subconsciously that's what I wanted. Random person? No idea.

@Emergencyusername101 The posters piling on here and thinking they are helping by kindly and gently telling the op the risks of their obesity are as bad as the explicitly rude fat shamers in my experience. They are insulting the intelligence of obese people like a bunch of well-intentioned missionaries

We know!!

We just don’t have the emotional reserves to address it

@emergency What would you rather posters did? Piled on the OP and accused her of eating all the pies/McDonalds? Ignored the post entirely?

Surely prioritising your health and wellbeing trumps eveything else - I suppose that's where the judgement comes in?Like any way of abusing your body people find it hard to understand why people don't stop, especially when you are clearly unhappy about being obese, but obviously it's not that easy as obesity wouldn't be increasing so fast.

@Neonlightning sounds like the therapy has really helped you, hope you are feeling fit and well.

I would rather thy minded their own business!

Said on a public forum...

Thyroid issues contribute to weight gain as do some medications. It's not all down to overeating. Sadly, a person I knew piled on weight due to a medication she needed to take. It was very difficult for her.

I think the 2000 cal per day myth for women is partly to blame. For my height of 5ft 5 I need less than 1500. Also the snack industry.

What we need to tackle is the food industry and the crap that is processed food, and give people skills to cook real food, rather than blaming people for being obese.

Beginning caveat: I am overweight, close to 11.5st with a goal weight range of the 8st bracket. This has come down from obese as I've lost over 3 stone but it's slow going. I started in 2019. I don't remember being a healthy weight as the last time I was, I would have been too young to be concerned with weighing myself.

I have a chronic health condition that makes exercise very difficult (as in causes issues/flare ups that land me in hospital and reduce my already low mobility to 0). Every single one of my numerous medications are associated with weight gain. The only thing I can realistically control is my calorie intake so this is what I've done for nearly 2 years.

Contrary to popular belief, I'm not miserable eating less. I can't speak for all overweight people, but any misery is related to being obese/overweight and my chronic pain so I'm familiar with the feeling.

Fat shaming is shitty but it certainly isn't on a level with racism, sexism, ableism or homophobia etc. These are all inherent characteristics that people cannot and should not be expected to change. We do no-one any favours by mistaking body positivity with fat glorifying. We know how unhealthy fatness/obesity is. We also know how difficult recovery is from addictions/poor mental health. These are public health issues and we have to work cohesively to address them. Collective blame and vitriol isn't part of that but recognising our own responsibility is.

I'm not interested in judging individuals for being fat but do believe in personal responsibility for choices which contribute. We don't skirt round the issues cause by smoking because people might feel it's personal and this is the same thing. Finally, pople should be getting the Covid vaccine (and any others) if health challenges put them at increased risk.

Her weight is not high because she gorges on junk. It's because she's eaten a bit too much all her life. That bit too much might be the same as you or me eat normally but for her it means she is 4 stone overweight. I think that must be really hard.

Yes, this is something few people seem to recognise. The stereotype of the fat person having takeaways three times a week and constantly snacking just isn't true in many cases.

Some people seem to be able to burn off small amounts of over-eating - for others, it just sticks, and the weight goes on - very slowly, but it keeps adding up. You don't need to overeat by much to gain 1lb a month but that's the best part of a stone a year.