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Original poster

Received acceptance to 1st choice school mid way through reception in independent school

33 replies

Kellyclay417 · 31/03/2021 15:49

Hi all,

As the subject says, I received an email which informs us that there will be space in our first choice school for our child. Which we need to respond to by tomorrow.

Our child started in the nursery of his current school (independent) last year January. We decided to keep him in the school for reception as he didn't get his first four choices. Instead he got assigned a school we had never heard of and that is rated 'inadequate' based on its last two Ofsted inspections.

We decided not to accept and remain on the waiting list for our first choice. We thereby kept our child and pretty much forgot that we were on the waiting list.

The dilemma now is that our child is doing well in the independent school and has formed good friendships. We don't know what to do. Do we keep our child in this school where he is very happy at and has formed close friendships or move him to this other school where we aren't sure what it'll be like for him. Also do we stay in this school where we will be paying £4k (currently) a term or go with the state school where it's free (obviously) and meant to be a really good school.

We also have a baby who will be joining him in whatever school he is at when the time comes.

What would you do? This is such a difficult decision. Any advice is greatly appreciated. TIA

OP posts:
GreyhoundG1rl · 31/03/2021 15:51

Up to you, but the "close friendships" thing is a red herring in reception...
They'll be fairly fluid still.

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 31/03/2021 15:56

Can you afford two children in private school, including fee rises. That's the question.

Grimbelina · 31/03/2021 15:58

'close friendships' in reception is very misleading and also with lockdown surely they have hardly been there? The big question is whether you can (easily) afford it for the next decade or more. If not then move now.

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Subordinateclause · 31/03/2021 16:00

It's a huge sum of money over time. Do you think it is worth it? Not can you afford it, but what else could you achieve with that money? If it were me, I'd move him.

StylishMummy · 31/03/2021 16:08

I'd move them to the state school - especially with a new baby on the way. £1k a month is a lot of money for a 4-5 year old at school

JoshLymanIsHotterThanSam · 31/03/2021 16:10

As someone who moved a D.C. in reception year (due to house move) I say take the place. It really won’t affect them...friendships are not really forged at that age.

riddles26 · 31/03/2021 16:13

I'm addition to questioning affordability of 2 in private with fee increased, does the independent have a sibling policy? Otherwise the state option will mean both children are sorted

Same4Walls · 31/03/2021 16:14

As a former reception teacher the close friendships point is one that absolutely should not form any basis for any decision. Close friendships at 4 are not the same as close friendships as a teen and at this age their friendships are still incredibly flexible.

Take the place at the first choice school. Once he's moved, he will make new friends and you will probably find he wont even remember any of the old friends names by Christmas.

Justajot · 31/03/2021 16:23

Given that a significant number of the reception kids have just had a term out of school, I think their friendships will be even more fluid than usual. Do you know whether the state school's intake will have come from a range of nurseries or will they know each other from the school nursery?

Panicmode1 · 31/03/2021 16:27

I moved my son for the beginning of Y1. Children who had been in Reception didn't even realise he hadn't started with them. Don't use friendships as an issue!

Villagelady · 02/04/2021 15:26

We’ve just done the opposite from an outstanding rated ‘normal’ school to a fee paying school. The difference is unbelievable in quality of schooling and experience.

CuthbertDibbleandGrubb · 02/04/2021 15:41

I'd move to the state school in a heartbeat.

Hoppythehippo · 02/04/2021 16:23

I’d move. At that age they adjust very quickly. Be aware of when your notice period is for the private school though, you could end up liable for a significant chunk of fees if you are on a terms notice and that closed a few days ago...

VerbenaGirl · 02/04/2021 16:26

I’d absolutely move him.

ByTheStarryNight · 02/04/2021 16:27

Take the state school place. We used private school from YR to Y4. Really wish we'd kept the money in hindsight. The education was better at the state school he started in Y5, and having friends within walking distance in the tween years and beyond is something you can't put a price on.

hidethexylophone · 02/04/2021 17:31

I'd move him to the state primary - save your money for private for secondary age.

LittleOverwhelmed · 02/04/2021 18:03

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

Chronicallymothering · 02/04/2021 18:07

I'd move him. 2 x private prep fees you can avoid to get an option you wanted 9 months ago. It feels like a no brainer.

£4K a term for 2 kids is £168k+

Bringonspring · 02/04/2021 18:26

It depends if you can afford it, that is the question

Original poster
Kellyclay417 · 02/04/2021 18:40

Hi everyone.

Thank you all for taking the time to comment. It's definitely a tough choice. We emailed the admissions team to say we accept so they've given us a formal offer which we have until the 15th of April to accept or decline.

The state school were able to see us the same day too which was great. I'm still in two minds about it. One second I'm thinking- yes save the money and put towards a good secondary if he doesn't get into a good non paying one. However the other part of me is having a major case of FOMO... On what? I do not know Confused... Lol. I really like the school he's in at the moment so it's really difficult.

I'm also thinking if he's not settling in the state school, we can just take him back to the independent school.

With regards to notice periods, it's a terms notice but the council may allow half a term's (TBC) which means we'll lose out on half a term's fees should we choose to go down that path... Which is I guess better than losing out on the full term's fees.

So much to decide between now and the 15th!Confused

OP posts:
DrunkenKoala · 02/04/2021 19:43

We relocated during DS reception year. I was worried regarding friendships as he was really close to a child in his old school, but he settled into his new school really well and made some very solid friendships over the next couple of years. I’m glad we did it then rather than when he was a bit older as I think he would have struggled much more.

The child he was close to in his old school later moved to New Zealand so I’m glad we didn’t stay for friendships as the circumstances of others change and you have no control over it.

underneaththeash · 02/04/2021 19:52

Can you afford the private school easily? If you can I'd keep him there. We've done private and state for a mix of our three and even the worst private school was significantly better than the state option in terms of breadth, class sizes, opportunities and we like having longer days with before and after school care and longer holidays.

If it's a stretch at all - move him.

DarnTooting · 02/04/2021 19:57

It's impossible to answer without knowing the schools, your finance, aspirations and child! Is it likely that a place will still be available at the private in 9 months time if things aren't working out?

Personally I see very little value in private for average kids unless they offer amazing facilities or quality support for senior applications

Hoppinggreen · 02/04/2021 20:02

Move to State if you have a good State Primary option and save for Secondary in case the Secondary provision is bad

Serena1977 · 02/04/2021 20:03

Move him to state primary, save the money each year and more because independent secondary is far far more important.

Universities won't be bothered where your child went for primary but a well known independent for secondary with great grades will make a difference for life.

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