My children have been so ungrateful today

[Ploughingthrough]

It's just a rant before I get told to appreciate what I have - I do! But my DC are 5 and 8 and have been nothing short of ungrateful little toe rags today. Booked extortionate tickets for a water park (we are overseas), took them there, went on a bunch of rides (that I hate but do for them!), bought them an ice cream. DS (5) has a tantrum towards the end of the day because I wouldn't stand for an hour in a super slow queue for a slide, it was practically un-moving and there was loads of other stuff we could do. Cue a load of foot stamping, 'I'm not doing anything if it's not this ride' yada yada. DD does a few more slides then we go home, as it was near the end of the day anyway, get in a taxi and he's still carrying on about how unfair it is. Also something about a biscuit he didn't get (he said no at the time then changed his mind too late). Then DD (8) starts crying saying he has ruined her day (overreaction, it was the last 20 minutes), and it's all so unfair. Get home, give them dinner, there is no 'exciting deserts' (we've run out of yoghurt), I tell them to eat fruit, a bit more whinging and whining. I ended up getting quite cross and telling them that we won't do nice days out if they're going to end in toddler tantrums and tears and whining over not getting our own way. No I didnt' shout, but I did say I was disappointed and they had been very lucky to be able to go the water park during their holidays. I know they're hot and tired, but days out always seem to end in some kind of drama with them. But if we don't do much, everything is 'boring'. I should probably parent better, but really I'm just having a little rant about my temporarily ungrateful kids knowing that I was probably exactly the same and they will grow out of it. I have finished my rant now but I would feel better for any stories of ungrateful children who turned out very nice in the end (they are actually quite lovely children on the whole, but they have a very privileged life style that they're of course not really aware of yet).

I’m not sure it’s in ungrateful as such perhaps just kids being kids.
My 11 year old is a total nightmare just now..opposite everything I say he’s driving me insane.

For days out..I set out my expectations the night before and morning of the treat and let them know any nonsense/tantrums and we will leave there and then or any other time outs etc. And for the child who tantrums it would be dinner and bed. Being tired doesn’t mean they can be spoilt and treat you badly. Kids need to know there are consequences for bad behaviour/attitudes so they think twice about repeating those behaviours. As you say these days out aren’t cheap and everyone wants to enjoy it. It’s rubbish when someone ruins a nice day but if he doesn’t face any consequences he’ll carry on every single time.

A hot sunny day at a water park sounds lovely op, am very jealous. I hope you can relax now as I’m sure you’re probably tired 💤

Sounds like tired kids! You mention the tantrums started at the end of the day so I’d imagine they were getting tired after a day of fun .
Put it behind you and maybe do half days Instead of full days out

Be easy on yourself. They sound like normal tired kids. My 5 year old is going through an ungrateful phase. "It's not fair/You never let me do anything/why does Jake get to go there? etc etc."

Yes tired, hot and high expectations of entertainment 😂 I know they're just being kids really, its just fucking annoying isnt it when you spend a fortune doing something particularly for them and it all ends in drama and everyone telling you it wasnt fun and they most definitely did not have a good day!

No words of wisdom here but wanted you to know that you are definitely not alone in this.
The amount of "lovely days out" that I've taken mine on has resulted in exactly the same way as yours did- sometimes whole holidays have been pretty awful with lots of creating and whining and crying.
In hindsight I've put it down to the change in routine, them feeling a bit overwhelmed with it all, it's all very exciting and they can't quite handle it.
And it definitely gets worse as the day progresses as they get tired and more irrational.
A pp above had a good idea about setting the expectations for the day in advance so they know you are not putting up with any nonsense.
I've also found that factoring in time for a little rest with a drink and a snack can work wonders. Also having a plan that they are involved in making, so they know what's coming after lunch etc.

My sympathies- they do grow out of it- my eldest used to be a horror- now he's just turned 11 and it is much, much better!

They’re kids. Sounds like an intense day for them as well as you.

Cut them (and yourself!) some slack. Tomorrow’s a new day.

I managed to refrain from threatening to sell next weekend's theme park tickets (just said it in my head a few times 😂😂).

I know it's frustrating but an exciting day often ends in upset because it's such a high emotion for them to process.

Next time try to pace yourselves more, take plenty of rest stops, drink plenty and cool down regularly. And take a long lunch break in the shade so they can regulate their emotions a bit. Try winding them down towards the end of the trip so they are prepared for home time. Do all the exciting things in the first half of the day and then do fun but calmer things in the second half.

As well as setting expectations for them, you should manage your own. Days out with my DD were a disaster until I learned that we had a much better time if I just went with the flow. In the zoo, if she gets more enjoyment from playing in the playground then looking at the elephants, for example, what does it matter. I'm also quicker to leave at the first signs of tiredness rather than trying to get my money's worth by staying as long as possible. A shorter, calmer day is better for everyone.

Ah but you really have to see it from their side OP - I have clear memories of an utterly dreadful trip to London with my Mum aged 8, where she was so selfish as to say we could only feed the pigeons in Trafalgar Square OR go to the Natural History Museum and then she dared to look at some bras! After which she wouldn’t even let me try on ballgowns. Taking me for my favourite breakfast and lunch was obviously just my due.

Given The Great Ballgown Meltdown of ‘94 has passed into family legend I’m pretty sure I wasn’t always a complete monster 😂

Slothkin 😂😂 made me laugh. I suppose it is pretty bloody dreadful for your mum to say she wont stand in a queue for an hour in the searing heat....and then not to have any yoghurt either.

@Ploughingthrough

Yes tired, hot and high expectations of entertainment 😂 I know they're just being kids really, its just fucking annoying isnt it when you spend a fortune doing something particularly for them and it all ends in drama and everyone telling you it wasnt fun and they most definitely did not have a good day!

This is why I didn't do this sort of stuff with primary age and saved the money for later - because when little they have just as much if not more fun doing lower-key things and if it ends in a drama no one gets offended.

So I would dial it down a bit for a few years and plan something lovely for 2024(ish)

Hmm. That's kids for you.

One day you'll observe your DGC being the same way to your adult DCs while you as DGM will not be able to do a thing wrong in the DGCs eyes!

And of course you will be a kind enough DM not to gloat about it to your DCs (although you will be permitted a small chuckle privately to yourself)

Taking me for my favourite breakfast and lunch was obviously just my due.

Ahh yes, this sounds so familiar!

I get the feeling that with kids and days out, you start the day with x points (in their mind). For every misdemeanor on your part, points get knocked off until you're down to zero, at which point the day is officially 'ruined'. No points get added for good stuff that happens, and often a single mishap at the very end of the day will remove all x points in one fell swoop.

To be honest I feel relieved that other people have days like this with their DCs sometimes too! When I look on Fb and see what looks like perfect family days out with constantly smiling and happy children I feel like a failure when my kids sometimes argue, get grumpy or dramatic. In reality, children will be children, they are still learning to regulate their emotions and that’s ok.

Don’t take it to heart OP, I know it’s disappointing when you’ve looked forward to a nice day out and spent a lot for it to end this way, but there will plenty of other times in future for there to be a better outcome.

OP if you’re over in Oz I had a bit of a tantrum aged 13 when I’d gone over with my Mum and she wanted a night out with her best friend and I was left with the little ones. I was a horrible little madam. But I felt awful the next day and cooked for everyone - horribleness can be very short-lived!

Hahaha sorry but this describes most days out in this house. Someone is always in a mood by the end. It gets a bit better as they get older but I think it's a rite of passage

Although on the other side as a teenager my Mum always organised a full fry-up for me rather after getting my braces tightened. I knew she was doing it with so much love so I smiled through the ‘bloody hell my mouth is agony why would I want to put toast in it’ experience.

I just spent 45 mins rebuilding some shite Lego City for DS5 and when I was nearly done, I flipped it over and a piece fell off.

"Thanks mum for breaking it."

God, give me strength please.

Hot, tired, end of a nice day. That's typical.

The number of tantrumming children there are walking up the hill at Legoland at the end of a nice day at times outnumbers the visibly happy ones, especially if you take out of the equation those asleep in buggies.