Afraid I'm going to lose my teeth in my 20s

[woowoowin]

Okay so I've namechanged as I'm so utterly embarrassed about this.
I'm in my early 20s and I'm terrified that I'm going to lose my teeth. It's my own fault, I've neglected them since I was about 10 as I've struggled with severe depression on and off since then. I also had stunning very long hair that I had to cut to the shoulder as it was beyond help.
They're discoloured but my main concern is that my gums are badly receding, particularly on the bottom, the entire root of my teeth is visible. They got a lot worse when I was pregnant and now I'm terrified to even apply to go on the waiting list for a dentist as I know that I'll be judged and I think they'll just say there's nothing can do. It's causing me so much stress and I'm so ashamed I don't know what to do.
I'm not 100% sure what I'm hoping for here, maybe just a push to do something about it or some advice

To be blunt: it won't get better on it's own. Do you really want to be here in a year thinking its got worse and you should have done something now?

You need to try and sign up with a dentist ASAP. Dentists don't judge, they treat. They will do everything they can to help and support you and prevent further issues. The longer you leave this, the worse things will get and you know it. Please try and find a dentist ASAP.

They've always seen worse. Going could be the thing which saves your teeth.

Thank you for the replies, realistically I know I desperately need to get it sorted but I'm also terrified they won't be able to do anything and then I can't bury my head in the sand anymore.
I will put my name on the list though as I know the wait will be long so I've got time to prepare myself

Depression is so shit I'm so sorry you're going through it. Try not to stress about it I know that sounds stupid but the damage is done now, the only way to fix it is book in hear what they have to say and move forward with hopefully pain free nice teeth again.
They will not judge you they've seen way worse than what you've described and hair grows back so don't worry about that either. I hope you feel more you again soon

Please don't be embarrassed! I didn't see a dentist for the first time until I was 25 They were lovely and I didn't know why I had got myself so stressed. Better to get it sorted now and not when it's completely too late .

@woowoowin I was in your position about 3 years, also in my 20's and neglected my teeth due to depression. I pay private now, with a dentist who I am comfortable with, and my teeth are in so much better place than they were- not perfect by any means but a lot better! Good luck

I'd advise going to more than one dentist if poss for a second opinion.
I signed my OH to a local dentist, he attended a regular check up and he has also neglected his teeth. Local dentist wanted to take 6 teeth out. He had a follow up appointment arranged to get it done but in the mean time suffered with bad pain in one of them.
Emergency dentist who is usually private but does emergencies for NHS sorted it out and said you do not need 6 teeth out.

• he hasn't has a problem since.

Apparently NHS get paid more for pull outs (Could be complete rumour to get my OP to sign up but thought I'd share anyway, apologies in advance if it made up)
Hopefully a dentist will be on their way to this thread soon.

Do something about it before they start to hurt.
Dentists can do amazing things these days so stop telling yourself it's hopeless.

Thanks everyone. I've been panicking about it for years & putting it off (bad habit) but it really feels like this is do or die now. It seems like hardly anywhere is taking NHS patients right now so I'll have to ring around. Will I need to mention how bad things are when I can book an appointment?

1. They will always have seen worse.

1. The stuff they can do is amazing. I haven't taken particularly good care of my teeth and my gums are receding a little bit. I assumed there was nothing they could do but (prepandemic) I picked up a book in my dentist's waiting room while waiting. It was very American and mostly designed to sell procedures but the techniques and before and after photos were astounding. There was one patient with very severely receding gums with a huge amount of root showing on every tooth- I think they did some sort of advancement autograft type thing and the "after" photo was perfect. Prob cost a bomb to do but costs nothing to ask.

@powershowerforanhour I've seen that there are things that can be done but like you said, would cost a bomb and we're a single salary household atm. Thank you for the reassurance though it really is helping. Never thought of it from the 'they've always seen worse' POV.
It's proving hard to find anywhere that's accepting NHS patients though but will keep looking

Another one here saying please make the call and go.
Sounds like receding gums which can be genetic anyway and not necessarily something that you have ‘done’.
At the very least, they will show you how to properly brush and care for your teeth to stop them getting any worse. Good Luck x

Please don't be put off. I've seen lots of different dentists over the years and the vast majority of them are perfectly nice and really do want to help, not judge. The sooner you go and see one the sooner you will know what can be done to help you. Surely not knowing, and worrying yourself silly, is far worse. Just think of the relief you will feel once you've had your first appointment, it will be like a huge weight of your shoulders.

I had severe dental phobia for a very long time.
Eventually I decided that I needed to conquer my phobia before I lost all my teeth. It still took me ages just to actually phone up!
Anyway phoned up, found a dentist, made an appointment, but in the meantime I wrote them a letter. I explained about my phobia, I had neglected my teeth, felt very ashamed about my mouth etc. The dentist has kept my letter stapled to my notes so the other staff know I have issues.
They couldn’t have been nicer, I wish I’d gone years ago.

I had a gappy bit like you describe, the dentist has covered it up. Don’t ask me how!

@ilikebungalows see I know this in the back of my mind but I do this with everything that slightly worries me. 99% of the time it turns out fine and I think gosh why did I agonise over it so much?! Then I do the same thing with something else. I really am struggling to find somewhere though. Is it possible that there is literally nowhere that's accepting NHS patients within an hours drive? Is there any way to find somewhere that is without manually calling every place?

@EdgeOfFortyNine ah that's a great idea! In my head I'll be panicking and probably cry at some point and the dentist will be thinking 'what an idiot, she's caused this herself' but a letter might be a good option. I'm glad you got things sorted in the end & that's really reassured me so thank you

Try calling NHS customer contact centre (England) on 0300 311 2233 if you've contacted lots of dentists and are struggling to find an NHS dentist. They should be able to place you.

Good luck, hand hold from me!

@woowoowin The only way I have ever found an NHS dentist is by ringing/checking online all the local ones. @SmileyClare (who presumably has lovely teeth herself lol) gives great advice. You're taking the first steps to solve this issue, please don't give up.

Which dentist are your DC registered with? Can't you ask them and go on a waiting list? In the meantime, the tiny brushes in Superdrug (Tepe brand name, but Superdrug own) are good to clean between teeth. My dentist recommended that I use them more often.
Anti- tartar toothpaste. Brushing morning and night and after meals. Preferably with an electric brush, but no problem if just a pound shop medium.
I think I read that certain foods promote tartar build up, so you could Google that and take preemptive action.
Cutting out fizzy drinks and sugar would obviously help long-term too.
They will definitely have seen much worse Op. You can relax.

No dentist will judge you - we are here to help.
In my area there would be no prospect of an NHS place any time soon, NHS dentistry has been FUBARed by Covid. Could you set aside some money for private?

Even if you can't afford the bells and whistles, it's still worth going. I pretty much shoved my husband through the dentist's door a couple of years ago. He hadn't been for 15 years and had a combo of can't afford it/embarrassed by the state they were in / bit scared of the dentist/ bit sceptical of how good they are since braces as a kid left him with a completely level incisor bite so his upper and lower incisors ground each other down to the dentine. He did clean his teeth but didn't floss and this in combo with no scaling left him with a lot of tartar especially on the inside. He also had a molar that broke off level with the gum years ago. He was too embarrassed to even let me look in his mouth. Finally, when a chunk of tartar so large we thought it was a chunk of tooth fell off one day, I got him to go for an assessment and scale and polish at least to try to see the lie of the land. The dentist's estimate for all that should be done came to >£800 which we couldn't afford so didn't get the big ticket work done but he was happy enough that he went anyway; he got the scale and polish and said that the dentist was nice and totally non judgey and DH got the impression that he frequently saw loads worse. I suppose dentists see lots of teeth that have been badly affected by pregnancy, drug treatment for various things, chronic systemic illnesses, bulimia, and suboptimal care for long periods of time due to all sorts of things so your teeth might not have been the worst that week or even that morning.

(I'm a bit miffed that DH is shy of letting me look in his mouth- I'm a vet FFS- when I do dentistry the tartar is bigger than the tooth it came off quite often).

I've got bad gum problems too and my last pregnancy made it much worse. I would definitely go to see a dentist as soon as you can. My gums are in an awful condition and I have been putting off making a dentist appointment, but I know I'll need major treatment for it, possibly surgery as I have big periodontal pockets. In my case it's more disorganisation/trying to get other things done so I've pushed this back on my to do list (plus trying to find a dentist who is covered on my insurance plan) but I've got some other tasks out of the way so I'll be sorting out something soon.

I floss, use tepe sticks, a Sonicare toothbrush and I've been using a Waterpik since Christmas, which I'd really recommend saving up for. I have receding gums which I think was due to using manual toothbrushes for years and brushing too hard. Don't think there's much I can do about it now, but the Sonicare helps.

I recently came across some Youtube videos of tartar removal and it was pretty eye-opening - did not realise they could get that big, and certainly put my problems into perspective!

I too had a gap of several years when I didn’t go to the dentist. When I finally made myself do it, they were very kind and my teeth were nowhere near as bad as my anxiety around them had led me to expect.