Dealing with a micro manager who doesn't communicate

[redpurplebuttons]

I recently started a new job and I'm finding it so tough.

My manager has very specific ideas of how she wants things done but doesn't communicate them.

My nature is to be proactive but whenever I try and pull together an initial draft of a piece of work, project etc it is never what she wants. She always completely rips it apart and re-writes it from scratch.

When I email her asking for a steer she doesn't reply. We meet once a fortnight and a few times now I've asked her how to approach something and written down word for word what she says but when it comes to doing the work it is still not what she wants.

She doesn't share anything with me at all. I have no idea what she is working on. She'll commission work which is relevant to my area (e.g. data) but won't copy me in so sometimes I'll then go to the exact same team and ask for the same thing and they'll respond that they're already working on it for my manager.

Bizarrely her feedback is that I'm doing fine, I have no idea what this is based on. I've always had excellent feedback from other managers so I don't think it's me but I'm not sure anymore. It's massively undermining my confidence and I've just been in tears after another disastrous meeting.

I don't know what more I can do. Anyone been in this situation? How do I improve it?

OP this all sounds very familiar.

I’ve no productive advice beyond trying to build other relationships and eventually move on.

It’s not the best way but I don’t sweat tasks these days, they’ll be redone in similar circumstances to what you describe and it’s too soul destroying to invest much energy.

Personally I’d have a brutally honest conversation as a pp suggests but again it’s
more personal investment and I’d be very surprised if she listened or changed.

I have a phrase ‘set up to fail’ which describes these kinds of managers. It’s a power play. The fact that you get no feedback makes it worse because there is no path to improvement. It’s honestly had a long lasting impact on my confidence at work because I do not believe positive feedback.

Yep, I've had this. If you can, try and get out of the situation. It drove me to stop taking any initiative or thinking for myself as my boss would take the opposing view seemingly just for the hell of it.

I started to try and influence her towards what I didn't want as that was my best chance of getting what I did want. Bloody exhausting and ridiculous.

I now work for someone sane and reasonable and still pinch myself at how much easier it is.. I perform so much better too without the constant second guessing and navigating of stupid power dynamics.

I had one of those for years. They don't change. Everybody else can think you're the most competent person in the world but the micromanagers will still treat you like an idiot, pick everything apart and yes in fact they would prefer to do everything themselves.

Mine had to ask two million questions and ask me to research and add X, Y and Z. When I had done it, she would delete it all and ask why I put such irrelevant things in..

Oh and also what dreamingofsun said. Mine also turned and tried to get me fired. Didn't work.