Tell me about the relationships you have with your siblings

[Cloudsandrainbows]

I wanted to know who of you out there are an only child? Do you wish you had siblings? Why? Who has siblings and wishes they didn't? Anyone have a step or half sibling? What is your relationship with them as an adult? Have anyones experience as a child with or without siblings influenced your own choice on having a child/children? Just really interested! So many pros and cons to only child vs a brood! Thanks

My sister is three years younger than me and just the best person ever. She is very tall so growing up we were often mistaken for twins, we fought like cat and dog when younger but get on amazingly now. She is my dearest friend and we totally have one another's backs always.

When I divorced, I moved a few streets away from her and outside of lockdown would be in and out of one another's houses all the time.

I feel bad posting all that when there are others with really difficult relationships

Only child here, missed having a sibling to take the pressure/focus off me in my teenage years. Similarly now my parents are getting older I can see that having a sibling could offer mutual support.

I have dd and ds, they fight a lot and it is awful sometimes spending time with them together but I think they do love each other.

My dad is one of three siblings out of four to survive childhood. They are all now in their seventies and see each other regularly, go out for meals and on holidays together with their partners.

One younger sibling. There is too big an age gap and we are very different. We aren't close and never have been. It's not helped by us now not living in the same country and that their partner and I don't get on.

Because of that, I definitely wanted more than two children and close in age, and that's what I have - three all born within less than four years.

Dsis - love her to death but my god she gets on my tits. I've actually unfollowed her on Facebook because if I see one more post about SELFISH lockdown breakers (from someone who's had all and sundry round hers) or sayings she's gonna kick off/she because the assistant in Aldi shortchanged her by 10p, I will fall out with her. But when she's not getting on my tits we have a scream, and I can't wait to go on a night out with her as we have so much fun.

DB1 - fucking moron. Can't stand him. He's a complete sexist, thinks he's super dad because he sees his son EOW and doesn't let him die while he's at his. He's also a thief - he stole mine and Dsis's money from our money boxes and expensive stuff like Walkmans all the way through childhood and AFAIK still steals today. He stole from my grandparents when he was 19 they had collected £300 for charity and he went out on the piss with it.

DB2 - one of my best friends. Love him to bits, we are very close and I adore his DD like she's my own. For various reasons he'd quite a badly damaged individual, he's been through a lot in his life - like stuff that would make a grown adult cry - and he has embraced life in the most admirable way, and carries on regardless. Unlike DB1 who is in a constant state of feeling sorry for himself because his exW wants more than £7 a week in child maintenance.

What I find hardest about being from a family of 4 - maybe others feel like this? - is the dynamic between my mum and all of us. She always feels like DB2 and I leave the others out, and DB1 is the golden child who is simply amazing and can do no wrong, and she's not afraid to tell the others. Was always the way when we were kids too. And the proof of the pudding is in the eating - being raised this way has resulted in a sulky, self pitying entitled lazy arse of an adult. And she's so tough on me and Dsis - I just roll my eyes and ignore my mum but Dsis takes it quite personally. She has very high expectations of her daughter's and very low of her sons.

I wouldn't have over being an only child but being from a 'big'(ish) family felt very overwhelming and I really craved alone time. I'm now late 30's and I enjoy nothing more than an empty house or people not being around. When someone is always there or can be very tough

Oh and the influence is that I've stuck to 2 children - I could never have 4, i would feel way too crowded. I could easily have just had 1 DC too

Also, there is only one year between each of the 4 of me and my siblings (obviously nowt on TV in the 80's ). It kind of means you're thrown together and always in each other's pockets growing up.

Mum and dad split when I (youngest) was 1 and both brought several new partners into our lives which sometimes included stepchildren. That was a mixed experience - dad died a few years ago as a single man and mum has been married to the same man for about 30 years - but I still keep in touch with my dad's 3rd wife's children and their mum (ex stepmother). Whereas others I probably wouldn't recognise if I passed them in the street.

I love my parents but I do wish they'd thought more about how their choices to bring new partners and their kids into our lives impacted us. Just because we went along with us it didn't mean we were happy about it

I was an only and wished for a sibling foe a very long time.
My mother being my mother I am sure got pregnant with my sister when I stopped asking because I was then too old to have any meaningful relationship with a baby.

I have zero communication with any family members.

I had 2 dc very close together. I couldn’t stand the thought of them being only children or having a large age gap.
They get on so well they have gone into business with each other

I have one DB, he's less than two years older than me so we were playmates as children. I love him to bits, he's a kind, funny, competent man, a great father and grandfather, does his fair share of household work, and has been an absolute rock for me and DP since I became seriously ill two years ago. I feel so lucky to have him, and am very sad for people who have difficult or non-existent relationships with siblings.

I have 6 half brothers. 2 half sisters. 1 step brother & 1 step sister.
I grew up in the same house with 4 of the half brothers & 1 of the half sisters.
I talk to none of them.

One sister, fiver years older. Light of my life, my rock. Makes me laugh like no one else. Believes in me 100% of the time, even when she shouldn't. Taught me the importance of family. Saw my vulnerabilities when I was younger and protected me, pushed me when I needed it. Guides me still through my life decisions. I've written about her on here before, she has Downs Syndrome. She's taught me so much but it's the arched eyebrow of a sibling that can make me cry laughing that wins. I can't believe what a solid, resoundingly good influence she is on my children. We're a team, a huge feeling of 'us'. I'm really lucky.

A brother and a sister.
4 & 8 yrs younger.

We are close. WhatsApp several times each day. Go on trips together. I rely on them for support, perspective and a sarcastic comment.

We weren’t close as kids the age gap was too big.

Me and my brother fought a lot as kids- to me that's normal and my DDs do too. Me and DBro are very different, but once we didn't live under the same roof we were fine. We're not overly involved in each others lives though.

Now we message a few times a month - but we get on fine, share a sense of humour, are interested in each others lives, and would definitely help each other out wherever we can.

Neither of us are materialistic, and our parents don't have a lot, so I don't foresee any unseemly squabbling over wills or money in the future!

There's a chance he'll end up living with me when we're old, I'd certainly not see him homeless. But we probably will revert to childhood then .

I have a sister a couple of years older than me, we fought like hell in our teens.

Now she's my best friend and I've missed her terribly over the last year. We live quite far away from each other (400 miles) and I can't wait to see her. We talk most days on the phone.

2 older siblings with quite a large age gap (8 and 14 years). One still lives at home and so I have to see them by default when I visit my dad, but we never text or call apart from that. I find them quite hard work tbh; very negative about everything and conversations are draining. Other sibling lives abroad, probably speak two or three times a year on Skype. They moved out when they were 18 and I was 4, so we have never really lived as siblings, and they didn't have much interest in me when I was a child (understandable I guess).

I'm sure both of them would have been happier as only children; while I have a fairly neutral relationship with both of them, but they can't stand each other and have had many arguments that have ruined occasions like Christmas. I feel a bit like an only child because of the big age gap, and recently have thought that life would be better and easier if I had actually been an only child (a terrible thing to think I know).

Quite jealous of friends who get on well with their siblings, but it's a real mix.

I have a big sister who is like my mum because of the age gap and because my mum had favourite dc and we were ignored a lot so we bonded through that. We're still very close and her dh is like my brother. My mum loved having babies and favourites then left us to it. The rest of my siblings are either dramatic, jealous, narcissistic trouble makers or turn a blind eye or too scared to say anything. I am too old for that shit. I say it as it is and no one likes it. The two favourites haven't done very well in their lives. I think they thought everything would just drop into their laps but it didn't. Me and my dsis have done well and the others are "wtf? How did that happen?"
I think it's because we had no choice but to be more resilient and independent.

2 brothers and a sister. 14 years between oldest and youngest, I'm number 3.

Very close with my sister, we still live in the same area and would normally meet up every 2 or 3 weeks for coffee and a chat.

Good relationship with DB1, not so much when we were young but we've become much closer as adults. I worry about him a bit because he has MS and lives the furthest away from any other family member out of everyone, and is massively stubborn so I'm not sure he'd ever really let on or ask if he needed more help. I try to keep an eye on him without letting on that's what I'm doing too much!

I wouldn't say I particularly get along well with DB2 but I don't dislike him. We'll see eachother at family events, call on birthdays and around Christmas but we really don't have much in common to talk about. I can't imagine just ringing up and suggesting popping round for a chat or catch up. I'm sure if I needed him he'd be there but I'd feel more hesitant to ask him in the first place.

NC with both siblings all from same household. One older and one a year younger.
My parents forced me and younger one to do everything together. All kids parties we went as a pair I found this very suffocating. As we became teenagers I was expected to take her with me to every party still, I hated it wanted my own friends and in the end sibling had only my friends where she didn't bother to make her own because it was easier to tag along with me so not great for her either.

Eventually in adulthood we were finally able to separate and now don't speak for a few reasons but I think the relief of being able to be separate people contributed. The older one threatened to never speak to me again if I didn't resolve things with younger one so she is now nc with me too and tbh that just made more pressure to not bother.
I would have happily been an only dc!

I have a brother and sister a year and two years older than me. I bump into them occasionally at my parents. They don't speak to each other. I've nothing in common with them apart from being born to the same parents and doubt any of us will keep in contact when we lose our parents.

One DB, and we love each other, talk on the phone at least once a week for a catch up.

Neither of us talk to our half sister, who is 13 years younger. She is loud, manipulative and not nearly as pretty as she thinks.

My brother is just under 2 years older than me, year above in school. We squabbled relentlessly as children but we were very close regardless. There's a bond between us that's completely different to the bond I have with anyone else because we grew up together and have so many shared memories. We hit a few rough patches in early adulthood when we were figuring ourselves out but all is good now and I love him and his partner very much!

I have a younger sister. We didn't get on at all growing up, but since both of were at Uni, we got on really well. She become my best friend who I can talk to or rely on. Only down side is we live far away from each other now, so not as physically close as used to be.

My brother is six years younger than me. We fought all the time, I found him so irritating and my parents let him get away with murder while I had to be the example. I moved out when he was 14.

We are very, very different and would not be friends if we weren’t related. My parents have also spoiled him in both money and attention since I moved out ten years ago and the disparity in how they’ve treated us is mind boggling. I know that my anger should be solely directed toward my parents but it’s hard to watch him accept everything they’ve given him even though he earns more than me and both of our parents.

I did not have a good relationship with my sister growing up. That changed in our 20's and we have been really close. That was until I got pregnant and now she barely acknowledges me. I have now decided to leave her to it and be polite when we have to see each other. I am really close to one of my brothers.

You weren't a 'horrible child' you couldn't help the behavioural impact your ADHD had on you back then.
I think you would benefit from some family therapy to heal your relationship with your brother and forgive your inner child for some things that weren't your fault.