DP being taken advantage of by most of his friends

[Blue10000]

I feel my DP often goes out of his way to treat his friends extremely well (goes around to fix their appliances at a moments notice, buys them takeout, will loan hundreds and hundreds of pounds to very poor unemployed friends, takes on their worries and they seem to always take advantage of it - lots of his friends will make tentative plans with him (he is an initiator of social meet-ups and really doesn’t like much alone time at all) and then always cancel last minute, take forever to pay him back or never, keep him waiting all day only to cancel last minute for very non-serious reasons, phone him for technical advice mainly, be impossible to get hold off otherwise, even come to his birthday with no presents and ask him for a loan.

Seems the more he does for them, the more they think they can walk all over him. He is much much richer than most of his friends so can certainly afford to loan out the money

He does momentarily get annoyed about it especially when I point out how unfair it is on him but then quickly forgives and always seems to rather prefer to have a wide circle of ‘friends’ who are like this instead of none at all and so never establishes boundaries.

Even though I don’t personally get affected by any of this, it does make me feel sad for him and it’s kinda off putting in a way slightly.

Do I just let the ‘chips fall where they may’ as it’s not really anything to do with me or do something more than just casually speaking to him about it?

Even though I don’t personally get affected by any of this, it does make me feel sad for him and it’s kinda off putting in a way slightly

I would feel the same.

That he needs 'friends'/outside validation so much that he's willing to be taken advantage of by people who don't appreciate him.

But put off by his weakness in subsidising people who aren't worthy.

Yes he can afford it but still, its all a bit 'people pleaser with martyr syndrome'

You haven't said you live with him. If you don't, leave him to it. But if you have plans to move in together then I wouldn't.

A man who's carrying his mates through life will impact family money negatively and that's no good in terms of sharing a home and finances

I would never voluntarily combine my life with a people-pleaser — poor boundaries, low self-esteem (hence need to ‘buy’ friendships via loans, being the shoulder to cry on, allowing people to get away with mistreating you repeatedly), warped attitude to friendships etc.

No one respects someone who trots around doing endless things for people who ignore him unless it’s useful — people he probably doesn’t even like — and appears not to understand the dynamic.

Thanks for replies

People will continue to take the piss out of him as long as your dp lets them. Only your dp can put a stop to it but you can help him see that its not right. They don't sound like friends to me, just using CF's

People will treat you how you let them. Your DP needs to say enough is enough and then be prepared to find out how many of these "friends" stick around.