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Is it a good idea to move house for secondary school?

14 replies

Bananasareyellow · 28/03/2021 08:58

Hi. First time I've ever posted here. I'm looking for views on whether it's worth moving house for a better chance of a place at a good secondary school.
Where we live is fairly sort of urban, lots of houses, pretty close to shops, nice coffee places, we have deliveroo :) It's quite culturally diverse. Not everyone's cup of tea but we quite like it. We have one kid and a dog and live in quite a small house and we can comfortably afford the mortgage.
We have 3 secondary schools near us. One is small and Catholic and really nice, but as we are not really religious, we would be way down the admissions list. One is new and everyone wants their kid to go there. It is our closest school but the entry point is weirdly in a different bit of town so I'm not sure whether we'd get a place. The third is big and under subscribed and has been failing for years and has a terrible reputation. Most children in the area seem to be offered a place there.
Our son's year is very big and there was a fairly undignified scramble for primary school places when he turned 4. We didn't get the best school in the area, but he's got on okay there.
We could afford to move to an area nearby - near where my parents live - where he could definitely get into a better secondary school, and some might say the area is better for children, being less congested and nearer to open spaces, but where our son wouldn't really have any friends and would probably be starting not knowing anyone. We would be leaving behind good friends and neighbours and would feel pretty sad about the whole thing but if it's better for him, it's the right thing, isn't it?
So sorry about giving you war and peace. What do you think?

OP posts:
EssentialHummus · 28/03/2021 09:03

I might, it depends. What is the failing school like substantively? Do you know any parents with kids there who you can speak to? When was the last OFSTED inspection/report? Is private school an option, once you factor in the costs of a house move, stamp duty etc?

KingsRoad · 28/03/2021 09:05

How old is he now?

I'd say the first thing you need to do is investigate the 'new school' and its admissions criteria so you really understand them.

In my experience, children are absolutely fine starting secondary when they don't know anyone at all. They are quite often ready for a new beginning at that age and there are children from all over. If it's not hours away, he could continue with sport or whatever outside of school with his friends.

However moving somewhere more rural at secondary might be a pain as that's when they start wanting to do more independently.

Bananasareyellow · 28/03/2021 13:14

Thanks for replying. @EssentialHummus the OFSTED is bad and performance is poor. I've heard a mixture of reports from parents. Some children get on fine. Worst was a parent who said her eldest goes there but she doesn't want her younger child to go there because they're a bit more gentle and quiet and she thinks you need to be able to stand up for yourself! I'm not sure that's a typical view but still. I think a private school would end up costing more than a move but maybe I should look into it. I can't imagine sending him to a private school.
@KingsRoad he's 9, so we've got a bit of time. Although I guess we would want to allow a good year to sort out buying/selling/moving. This is what I hear about starting secondary - they make all new friends anyway, find their tribe, etc.
Thanks for the suggestion about admission criteria. I'll do some homework!

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StylishMummy · 28/03/2021 13:16

We've moved for schools. We were in a lovely starter home until DC were the year before school age. We recently moved to somewhere with excellent schools both primary and secondary, as well as being in the catchment for a popular grammar school
The

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 28/03/2021 13:18

What school year? You need to be in place by October of Year 6. We are doing our 'school move' now in Yr 5 and the eldest is 9. Started the process back in October.

WhipperSnapperSteve · 28/03/2021 13:21

We moved for secondary after our local nosedived on OFSTED following appointment of a new head. No regrets and DD was happy for the fresh start and it removed endemic bullying. She left school a few years ago and maintains we made the right decision.

StylishMummy · 28/03/2021 13:21

Posted too soon..

The secondary school where we lived previously was known for teenage pregnancies and gang culture. The primary school has huge issues with discipline. Shame as the surrounding area wasn't awful - but there was no way in hell I was allowing my DC to go to such a rough school. MOVE!

whiteroseredrose · 28/03/2021 13:30

I would move without a second thought.

I wouldn't worry about your DS not knowing anyone when he starts as lots of friendship groups re jig throughout secondary school.

DD went to the same secondary school as others from her primary but was in a class on her own. It took a few months but she found her tribe. Very little contact with any from primary. DS was the same.

My family moved for me. I would have gone to a very rough comprehensive with DC chucking chairs around so they moved council areas. I ended up at a girl's grammar that suited me perfectly.

Bananasareyellow · 28/03/2021 17:00

Thanks all. @Aroundtheworldin80moves Y4. Sounds like we need to get going soon.

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DancesWithDaffodils · 28/03/2021 17:06

We moved for secondary.
We were abroad, and came back for Y6, and secondary applications.
The Y6 move was quite tough, but secondary knowing not many was fine. Would you stay at the current primary, or move schools twice in a shortish space of time?

Bananasareyellow · 28/03/2021 17:36

@DancesWithDaffodils I think probably stay at current primary unless we really couldn't make it work. I think it would mean breakfast club and about a 30/40 minute round trip (for me) each morning and afternoon.
I think I know what we have to do. Sounds like others have had similar experiences. Everything about it is just a pain in the neck!

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Clymene · 28/03/2021 18:24

I would move. My children were super keen on having friends from primary at secondary but they grew apart really quickly and, while they don't hate one another, they're definitely more acquaintances than friends.

DarlingWithoutYou · 28/03/2021 18:42

We moved for secondary and have no regrets. He'll make new friends and you'll make new neighbours.

MrHannigansCat · 28/03/2021 18:48

We moved to be in a catchment of an outstanding secondary school, no regrets at all. Both DC didn't know anyone else in the year, the school held a couple of get to know your classmate mornings for those coming from non-feeder schools. They found their friends through classes and clubs, love it.

I did keep them in their outstanding primary school as I was available to do the school run so it wasn't an issue just a 20 minute drive there. Best decision we ever made. Lots of people move for a primary school, why not a secondary?

Check admissions criteria on any school you like the look of just so there are no surprises.

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