Has anyone successfully overcome an all or nothing approach to healthy eating?

[MrsTophamHat]

I'm trying to lose weight at the moment. Combination of baby and lockdown. I naively thought that going back to work a few weeks ago would give me more routine and naturally the weight would slowly start to reduce, but it hasn't.

I never have breakfast. I tell myself that i am not hungry, but really it is to restrict calories.

At work, i will generally take a tin of soup and 2-3 pieces of fruit. Sometimes i haven't time to eat the soup between meetings, so I just have the fruit when I get the chance. If time came up later in the day, say after 2pm, I wouldn't go back for the soup, i would just try to wait until dinner.

I have an hour's driving commute. If I have to stop for fuel, I find it really difficult at that point to resist buying crap for the car. If i'm being "sensible" i might buy just a normal bar of chocolate, but if i've had a stressful day it could be a sandwich and crisps as well, even though I know I've got food at home.

I meal plan, so the dinner generally are healthy and around 5-600 cals. I will always eat this as well because i don't want DH to know that i have eaten in the car (because it's embarrassing, not because of any control issues).

In the evenings, I try to have a rule of nothing but water after 7pm but i don't always stick to it. Could be cereal, toast etc.

Logically, i think that if I ate more during the day, it wouldn't fall to shit from 4pm onwards but I find it so hard not to limit myself as i'm worried that those behaviours are emotionally fuelled, and will still happen even on top of the bigger lunch. Has anyone else broken a pattern like this?

At least you're seeing there's a bad pattern, and you know where you're falling down. Just 1 small change would help a lot, like you've identified the commute home and the petrol station food as being a problem (it really is by the way, sweets and sandwiches at the station are just the most horrific foods, calorific, fat and sugar laden, this will be giving you the majority of calories for the day)
If you can mitigate this, plan to work around it and stop it from happening, that would help a lot. The problem is your hunger on the way home. Try a protein shake before you leave the office. You can get low calorie ones and make it pleasant by adding fruit etc. This will help your willpower on the way home so that even if you do have to stop for fuel you will not be hungry for sandwiches. It works, I started doing the same recently and it's really helping. I also noticed that when I do my big shop at the supermarket, I go much quicker and buy so much less crap like cakes and sweets if I have the protein shake directly before leaving the house.

I find eating more protein at each meal helps me resist carby snacks. Eg I usually have a chicken breast and salad for lunch. I'm not surprised you need a snack if you've only eaten fruit and soup!

How often do you stop for fuel? That seems to be the main issue. Change something around that.

Also try to make your own soup, it will be much lower sugar and fat than the tinned stuff, and you will be more motivated to eat it.
Fwiw, I don't think you're necessarily doing the wrong thing by fasting 7pm-lunchtime the next day.
I get that it's hard, finding the willpower, I have the same problem with emotional eating of sugary treats. Taking away the hunger helps though. And having something to look forward to, I can feel this summer might actually have some nice things coming up so it's helping to picture myself in a pub beer garden in a lovely strappy dress every time I feel tempted to open the dreaded treat cupboard at 11pm

It sounds like sometimes you hardly eat for most of the day? In which case of course you're going to dive head first into quick hit snacks.

I think you could benefit from proper meal planning - for the whole day including breakfast, lunch, dinner and snacks. Don't just aim for the fewest calories as you can manage in a day - aim for the most you can eat while still in a calorie deficit, so you don't obsess and cave at the first temptation. If you're not sure what a calorie deficit is for you is, calculate it here. Your TDEE is how many calories you burn in an average day. Eat less than that and you'll lose. Eat 500 less a day and you in theory would lose 1lb a week.

Doing this really helped me figure out portion sizes. I need to include treats in my diet. I'm just being realistic here, I know that i'll bomb any diet eventually if I try to eliminate sugar or carbs. This way, I get to have it al but in moderation.

Best of luck.

Thanks for the tips. It really is a mindset thing, so for instance if i've had a "bad" day the day before i'll try to mitigate it the next day by being really restrictive but then all that happens is the cycle!

The fuel definitely is a thing. I drive around 80 miles per day for work so I do need to fill up at least twice per week. I'm more controlled in the morning but because i'm setting off at about 6.20am, sometimes I just want to get there rather than be on the windy, cold forecourt! It would be better for me though.

Sounds silly but is there a pay at the pump garage so you don’t get tempted by food in store?

Sounds silly but is there a pay at the pump garage so you don’t get tempted by food in store?

I was about to say the same thing! A good way to avoid the snacks.

Or only allow yourself the smallest chocolate snack - I usually get a Freddo Frog

If you don't have breakfast and then don't eat anything but fruit till after work then you aren't fuelling yourself. I have found that eating a good breakfast and having protein and fibre at lunch means I don't get that mad hunger after work (I used to get it every day). If you're eating fruit add a small handful of nuts (must be able to close fist). Add lentils to your soup.
Willpower does not work longterm, you need to build structure into your day so you are eating well and enough and don't have to rely on willpower

@Reinventinganna

Sounds silly but is there a pay at the pump garage so you don’t get tempted by food in store?

There is in my home town BUT it is in the opposite direction to work and is around a ten minute diversion. There sadly aren't any on my route home (it's quite rural) or i definitely would target that one!

The protein shakes are a good idea!

Well, taking soup for lunch that you don’t get time to eat is an issue. So stop doing that! Take something as quick as fruit, like cheese & crackers, or a healthy sandwich with lean meat - even if you only have time to eat half, you’re more likely to have the other half with a cup of tea later, before your drive in.

Plan your petrol stops differently. Never get to the point where you’ll need to stop on the evening drive home. Either fill up early morning, or go out of your way the evening before to the pay at pump station before returning home. You’re unlikely to snack on a sandwich or chocolate bar 10 minutes from home.

I think i'm definitely going to rethink the fuelling.

I think i've got about a third of a tank now, so i'm going to fill right up again today at the Sainsburys pay at pump, and then refill again on Tuesday, which is my day off.

Has anyone else experienced the punitive mindset? The sort of "you ate that yesterday, so you need to have less today to make up for it" sort of attitude?

It sounds like sometimes you hardly eat for most of the day?

Yes that’s awful. As it says on the NHS site:

“But skipping meals altogether can result in tiredness and may mean you miss out on essential nutrients. You will also be more likely to snack on high-fat and high-sugar foods, which could result in weight gain.”

Also long periods of starving can cause your body to reduce your calorie expenditure (adaptive thermogenesis). Then you binge.

Definitely don’t miss lunch, add half a tin of pulses/ beans to the soup.

Maybe eat a big raw carrot before you leave the office and a handful of nuts (30g unsalted like walnuts) or fruit in the car.

Try this and as an experiment absolutely refuse to buy anything else to eat on the way home and observe dispassionately how you’re feeling and why.

Could be cereal, toast etc. Portion size could be adding a lot here plus eating refined carbs like that before bed definitely will. Rice cake with low fat cream cheese or low fat/ sugar yogurt (eg Skyr) would be better as a snack.

I keep a bag of nuts in my bag for days where I don’t get time to eat properly or I need energy.

For me, the key to successfully sticking with 16:8 (not eating btw say 8pm and 12 noon) is to make your two meals satisfying - both mentally and physically. So mentally, eat something you enjoy. Stop and take the time to eat a proper meal. And physically, lower the carbs and up the protein / fat which will banish those mid to late afternoon munchies.

How far are you driving to need to refuel every second day? I drive just shy of 40 miles a day and a tank of fuel lasts me almost 2 weeks..

Your eating sounds disordered though, even with eating a sandwich and crisps at the petrol station you would still be in a massive caloric deficit if you’ve only eaten fruit during the day, you must be absolutely starving.

Basically, if you are doing 16:8 you need to make those two meals count. Salads with protein on the side, leftovers reheated etc. You can still eat very healthily and eat food that satisfies. Maybe reading up about fat, protein, carbs and how the body responds to each.

@YerAWizardHarry

How far are you driving to need to refuel every second day? I drive just shy of 40 miles a day and a tank of fuel lasts me almost 2 weeks..

Your eating sounds disordered though, even with eating a sandwich and crisps at the petrol station you would still be in a massive caloric deficit if you’ve only eaten fruit during the day, you must be absolutely starving.

My commute is an 80 mile round trip.

It definitely isn't great and I do feel like i'm not in control of it. Don't get me wrong, it's not every day but it is very mindless and self sabotaging.

Even as I'm on this thread, I've realised I'm doing it now. This is how ingrained it is.

I had pizza and wine last night. So therefore I've been up since 7.30am but i've only had two coffees.

I'm going to make a smoked salmon salad I think.

My understanding with 16:8 is that you don’t need to eat low cal or even low carb at the same time. Low cal will make it hard to maintain the habit - as you’ve found, a bowl of soup and a couple of pieces of fruit isn’t going to satisfy you or your body’s hunger after a 16 hour fast. Low carb / higher fat protein OTOH can boost 16:8 and make it easier because you are eating foods that satiate your hunger for longer. Still healthy - lots of veg and salad, but also a decent amount of protein / fat as these are what keep you going between meals.

I do prefer to limit carbs, and when i'm sticking to my plan I tend to avoid bread and potatoes etc, swapping for vegetables instead. I still eat them but just ask myself whether the meal would be just as good with an alternative choice.

I would still have pasta, or rice with a curry if that was what I wanted but for instance i'm having a roast chicken later with roasted chantenay carrots, brocolli and green beans rather than mashed/ roast potatoes which would have been my default.