Checklist for good mental health in tweens/teenagers

[Kayenne42]

What do you do to keep your teens/tweens buoyant and mentally healthy?

We do the following but I want to check I’m not missing anything major and maybe pick up some new ideas:
-Family meals (everyday)
-Family walks
-Board games together
-Films/TV together
-Healthy eating
-sensible sleep routine
-meeting up with friends (when allowed)
-playing with pets
-check in with them re school and homework

Obviously in amongst this we all have time lazing about/on screens but the above is what I aim to happen on a regular basis. Soon they’re sports clubs will start back up too, which will help.

Do others do anything vastly different to this?

Talk about feelings etc and let them know you are available and open to talk about any subject. Mine are still small so I do things differently, but as a teen even though my parents were around constantly I never actually felt any emotion from them or able to speak to them, they was extremely cold.

By not forcing them to do all of the above

Indeed ^^

What do you do to keep your teens/tweens buoyant and mentally healthy?

I'll say it's important to get to know each one (from birth, if possible) as their own person just like any adult; listen to and observe them - their personality, likes/dislikes, interests, what makes them feel loved/what doesn't, how they connect/express themselves best, what pushes them away or makes them feel disconnected, etc. Then we do what we can, based on this. One size really doesn't fit all.

Do others do anything vastly different to this?

In a way, yes. We don't hold onto a set of arbitrary to-dos that must happen unless everyone involved enjoys it that way.

@FlyingByTheSeatof

By not forcing them to do all of the above

Fair point.

However, I wouldn’t say we don’t force them to do any of them. They’re good kids and the above is a fairly sensible list for human beings of any age to incorporate into their lives. Thanks for your kind support though

My DD is a young carer so is in a harder position than many others. We have organised counselling for her and organise one to one time every fortnight where she chooses what activity to do with us etc. When we can I'll take her on a short holiday, just me and her. We try to have good communication at home which helps.

@whenthebellsring

Indeed ^^

What do you do to keep your teens/tweens buoyant and mentally healthy?

I'll say it's important to get to know each one (from birth, if possible) as their own person just like any adult; listen to and observe them - their personality, likes/dislikes, interests, what makes them feel loved/what doesn't, how they connect/express themselves best, what pushes them away or makes them feel disconnected, etc. Then we do what we can, based on this. One size really doesn't fit all.

Do others do anything vastly different to this?

In a way, yes. We don't hold onto a set of arbitrary to-dos that must happen unless everyone involved enjoys it that way.

They’re really not arbitrary. Are you familiar with this:

www.nhs.uk/mental-health/self-help/guides-tools-and-activities/five-steps-to-mental-wellbeing/

The list I gave is flexible, other than evening meal at the dinner table which is simply expected and happens out of habit. No one would think to question it. It doesn’t have to be all of us but it’s nice to eat at a table and in company.

I am prepared that things may change with those activities as they get older, youngest is a tween and eldest is an immature 14 year old. I’m sure it’s quite different with older teens.

Your last post expands on your flexibility, which I think is important.

I'm familiar with the link - these things are typically summary guidelines for what everyone should be doing but don't often take into consideration different personalities, temperaments and needs. I'm sure they can't go on about specific needs as it will take ages to cover so it's up to each family to tailor the guidelines according to their needs.

For example: Connect with people. It's all well and good but how we connect differs. For some, being alone is actually what helps their mental health or helps them recharge; For others, they need someone/ people around.

For my family we do a lot of stuff on that list but one thing that's been quite important to my children (9 and 10 so a bit younger than yours) is one on one time with them. It's not as good now becaise of covid but I try to get some time alone with each of them at some point in the week. T hey choose what we do. Ds 1 usually picks a movie and ds2 picks gaming or baking. You get a lot of chat from doing other stuff on their own (ok maybe not in the movie ).

Did all that. Still have 2 teenagers under cahms.