What age is OK for a child to use the bus to come home from school?

[Itsamess8456]

Ds is 9 and we live 1.2 miles away from the school.

He doesn't want to go to the childminder anymore (lots of younger children and he appreciates the peace and quiet at home!) and can't see why he can't just jump on the bus (bus stop next to the school and across the road from our house). Dd is 15 and is home before him. They get on really well. Ds, although being 9 is quite mature and mellow. I'm home at 4.15pm

Half of me thinks it would be ok but the other half thinks he's too young....

I went to school in central London, and from Y4/5 the girls were travelling the tube to school.

See, I find this extraordinary. given the huge debate I remember having with other parents a few years ago, over whether our year 5s should be allowed to go to the park by themselves, or not! We live in a small, safe West Country city. It often seems that children living in urban areas have more freedom. Maybe it's because they get more streetwise at an earlier age?

Its a hard one & a similar situation to myself atm. I have 2 DC at different schools & am due my 3rd DC mid April, both DC start within 10mibs of each other which means DC10 is usually late of there is traffic. DC10 school is just under 2 miles away, bus stop at the top of our road & is literally the 4th stop after he gets on & he has 1 main road to cross & then a short walk up to the school. This will also basically be the exact same bus route he takes to secondary just with 1 extra stop. Part of me thinks it's fine as I trust him indoors alone for up to a couple of hours so long as I I local. He'll be in year 6 come Sept & this will be good practice. The other part of me thinks it isn't a good idea. He is extremely road aware & knows not to talk to people he doesn't know ect. Just something about it I am not fully comfortable with, but not sure if I'll also feel that way when he also sets of for secondary school in q few years!

The world hasn't changed. Proportionally there are more than likely the same number of paedophiles / sex offenders as there was 20/30 years ago, it's just that we are more aware that they exist .
Having said that I think a 9 year old is a little young to be coming home on the bus alone.

@HunkyPunk

This has really interested me. I wonder if you become less risk averse with your children, if (counterintuitively) you're in an area where the perceived level of 'risk' is elevated. (Not necessarily perceived as such by those living there, as they have become de-sensitised to it, maybe?) For example, I understand that many children in London use the tube on their own to get to school etc. Don't know from what age this is considered normal, but I imagine I would have been appalled, if this had been an option for my dc when 10 or 11.

Interesting comment @HunkyPunk. I live in London and let my kids roam from age 10, sometimes younger. I think you get more perspective on what sort of trouble is actually likely. In our area I see some violence, but it's usually drunk young men fighting other drunk young men. Female friends in their 40s and 50s recall being regularly groped and harassed on their journeys to and from school in a way that would cause uproar now, basically having to run the gamut daily of groping boys on the pavement as they left school. While I know that sexual assault does happen in schools, I do think this sort of thing is rarer than it used to be.

@Baddernaus

UK!!

wow that is an extraordinary view! Are you serious! Very worrying. Are you not planning to allow any kind of independence before 16? Blimey.

My 9 year old (10 next month, Y5), has been walking home from school since November (obviously not for most of last term when school attendance was restricted). DH has been here. Last week we gave him a key, because there was a chance DH wouldnt be back from his meeting. DS was home alone for 15 mins before his brother arrived. I'm uneasy about this, but sometimes needs must while covid messes with afterschool care. Key is attached to his school bag on a stretchy chain, so it is hard to loose. He now uses his key everyday, and leaves DH to get on with his work.

In another country, both kids also got the bus home from school BUT it was a dedicated school bus to our village, dropped the kids at the front door, and had the same driver nearly every day with a register. From Y2 (age 6) the kids were released from the classroom to find their own bus (3000 pupil school, 4-18).

There is no way he would be getting public transport home from school if that was what was required to remove childcare that was already available.

@clary not when it comes to walking the streets. This country is not safe anymore. Just look at what happened to that poor girl in Clapham, just one of many.

[quote Baddernaus]@clary not when it comes to walking the streets. This country is not safe anymore. Just look at what happened to that poor girl in Clapham, just one of many.[/quote]
One of very few actually. Tragic, but rare.

Your dd particularly needs to develop some sense of awareness of her surroundings, coupled with street sense and confidence to travel. Otherwise she will be spotted as easy target.

Trust me, you want to raise a confident sassy young woman, not one that is a nervous wreck, or worse - a risk taker because she has never had to assess risk before.

[quote Baddernaus]@clary not when it comes to walking the streets. This country is not safe anymore. Just look at what happened to that poor girl in Clapham, just one of many.[/quote]
Wow. So you wouldn't let a 15yo walk to the shop by themselves. I am actually aghast. What happened to Sarah Everard was tragic and horrific but it really really doesn't happen very often. A lot more people die each week in car crashes. But you don't read about that in the national news (because it is so sadly common)

Please reconsider, as Titchy says, you are genuinely doing your child no favours.

@Itsamess8456

I want to encourage independence. Not sure about the school not letting him out! I hadn't checked that...

Schools don’t actually have the authority to not let them out. If you give permission for it then their choices are either to do it or speak to social services if they think you are suggesting something neglectful.

How a child gets too and from school is a parental choice. Schools just rely on parents accepting their policy on it without question.

It’s not something someone else can advise on either as it totally depends on the child. I could have let DD1 get a bus, cross roads etc considerably younger than her twin sister. It’s got to be based just on your child and their personality and abilities.

It’s tricky. I’m happy for my 9 year old to walk to the corner shop (she’s even taken her 6 year old sister recently - there’s no road to cross) and to walk to her best friends house 5-10 minutes away but I’d be really uncomfortable about her getting the bus by herself. My older child started getting the tram to places when he was 10, but only with friends, not on his own.

I wouldn't be keen on the bus, but my DC were walking or cycling that sort of distance home from school at age 9. Like PP, interested to know why that's not an option? Or do the older children's routes home converge with the 9 year old's at any point? It's really common round here for younger children to walk to a point away from school to meet up with secondary school age siblings.

I let my just-10yo walk home alone from Jan of Y5, about a mile. I made him take a slightly longer route with easier crossings. No problems. This is London.

Lots of other people with small children about at that time of day, so I was pretty confident. Usually DP or I would be at home working so he used his key (tied to inside of his coat pocket on a stretchy keychain), but sometimes he'd be alone for an hour or two.

He loved the peace and quiet before annoying young sibling was brought home!

I think my main concern would be how intimidated he would feel if he sat on a seat and then a man sat next to him and made him uncomfortable would he have the courage to get up at his stop? Would he be better standing near the front? Would he be safer walking?

If it was the same driver or he alerted the driver to his stop ie tells them he is getting off at X stop then at least there is the possibility that he will remember a child is getting off then.

In secondary school we had a bus take a wrong turn, refused to listen to us , told us all to shut up, refused to stop the bus and kicked us off at a bus terminus about 3 mile from where we should have been. This was in the 80s and was terrifying even though there were around 10 pupils still on the bus.

I know the likelihood of that happening is rare but if your child gets scared would he ask for help, would he know which people to approach on the bus?

It’s interesting because on my local Facebook page there is always posts from parents warning others about their school children being followed home by men or men attempting to abduct them or get them into their cars, does no one remember the young girl that stopped another girl getting abducted by an older man recently? I don’t think these things are as rare as people say.

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/metro.co.uk/2020/11/03/man-26-arrested-over-alleged-abduction-and-rape-in-london-13531362/amp/

These things aren’t as rare as people like to make out, even the other day on my local Facebook page A young girl posted about a man flashing her and her friend as they were walking home from school. I don’t know why someone would let their 9 year old go home alone just seems lazy tbh.

The reason I would prefer him using the public transport rather than walking - it's an incredibly busy road from school to home with lots of crossings.

I'm generally a relaxed mother and he is my third child (I am definitely getting more relaxed with each child). He is 9 1/2 and in year 4.

He does go out to play locally and will pop to the local shop for errands.

The reason I would prefer him using the public transport rather than walking - it's an incredibly busy road from school to home with lots of crossings.

That makes sense to me. I prefer my kiddies to get on the bus rather than walk or cycle.

Highschool age is the youngest Id let mine go But I think my DD was 13

@Happycat1212

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/metro.co.uk/2020/11/03/man-26-arrested-over-alleged-abduction-and-rape-in-london-13531362/amp/

These things aren’t as rare as people like to make out, even the other day on my local Facebook page A young girl posted about a man flashing her and her friend as they were walking home from school. I don’t know why someone would let their 9 year old go home alone just seems lazy tbh.

That was disturbing, but it is rare and that's why there is a police manhunt and a S60 order has been granted to give them extra powers. We know it's rare because actual child abduction by someone other than family is big news. It's true that attempted or suspected attempted abduction generally only makes local news though. Girls are more at risk from sexual offenders than boys, and I was more cautious about letting my daughter walk alone than my sons. But she's now a confident teenager with street sense. As adults we all need street sense, after all.

I wouldn't at 9. It's just too young. I think high school Y7 is about right.

Sorry, but it's not the 1970's anymore. Way too young.

Wow I'm surprised at these responses - at 9 I would think he would be fine if he had a mobile phone and a sibling waiting at home.

But maybe wait for autumn term of year 5?

@MrsTophamHat

My dad started training me up in Year 6 by walking me to the bus stop, waiting for the bus then cycling home to meet me at the other end. When i (he!) got confident i could do it, my sister was allowed to come with me, and she will have been 9.

That's lovely