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Original poster

What age is OK for a child to use the bus to come home from school?

78 replies

Itsamess8456 · 27/03/2021 11:41

Ds is 9 and we live 1.2 miles away from the school.

He doesn't want to go to the childminder anymore (lots of younger children and he appreciates the peace and quiet at home!) and can't see why he can't just jump on the bus (bus stop next to the school and across the road from our house). Dd is 15 and is home before him. They get on really well. Ds, although being 9 is quite mature and mellow. I'm home at 4.15pm

Half of me thinks it would be ok but the other half thinks he's too young....

OP posts:
crazymare20 · 27/03/2021 15:24

What are you exactly worried will happen to him? Statistically children have got more chance of being hurt or killed by parents/relatives etc then a stranger walking/driving past. You just need to make sure your son knows 100% what to do in an emergency. I worry more about my kids getting knocked over crossing the road.

titchy · 27/03/2021 15:25

Babdoc has a good point - it can't be much more than a 20 min walk. Or is the route via a motorway or something?

If he's year 5 now, I'd be inclined to say ok from September. If he's year 4 now, I'd prob say he could walk fro September, and bus maybe from this time next year.

LouNatics · 27/03/2021 15:29

Is it a difficult route on foot? Why the bus? I looked at a bus for my 11 year old at the start of high school just as an alternative or possibility for days with lots of kit but eventually decided it was more hassle than it was worth. It’s about 2.6 miles/takes them about 40 minutes morning and evening, all the dc from my village seem quite happy with walking. The cost of the bus put us off it too at £1.30 - doesn’t sound like much but that’s £520 a school year

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sunflowersandbuttercups · 27/03/2021 15:33

@Itsamess8456

I do have 2 older children age 15 and 12 so there will be someone home for the 30 mins I'm in work.

I must admit, it would make my life so much easier if the bus home worked well...

Really? Every single night, guaranteed?

I think you need to make sure there's a way for him to get inside just in case. Your older children could get detention, want to see friends or get stuck after school for a whole number of reasons.

Not fair to curtail their after-school activities for their 9yo brother.

user64332 · 27/03/2021 15:34

Why can't kids walk a mile home from school these days? It's something I'm seeing more and more. Surely a mile is too near to bother with a bus.

reluctantbrit · 27/03/2021 15:35

DD's primary wouldn't have let a 9 year old go on their own, they relunctantly allowed from Y6 but only because of parents pressuring them.

DD was allowed at 9 to walk to a friend's house on the same road, walk alone to dance/music/sport class from a small distance as parking was a nightmare but we always had to collect in person.

I think here in the UK there is a culture of overprotecting primary age children (I am from Germany originally).

But I am more curious why you think he needs a bus, 1.2m is less than DD's walk to primary school and she was managed well. Her secondary is even a bit longer.

Changethetoner · 27/03/2021 15:36

I let my daughter do it aged 11, and in her first year of secondary school. But it very much depends on the child, how many other children will be using it too, how long the journey, and the culture of the place. ie are there gangs of antisocial teenagers running riot on the buses, or would there be one or two well-behaved ones.

80sMum · 27/03/2021 15:36

Could he perhaps walk instead, if it's only just over a mile?

user64332 · 27/03/2021 15:36

@sunflowersandbuttercups for 30 minutes I'm sure a 9 year old can manage on the odd occasion until mum is home. Noone is expecting him to cook dinner.

sunflowersandbuttercups · 27/03/2021 15:38

[quote user64332]@sunflowersandbuttercups for 30 minutes I'm sure a 9 year old can manage on the odd occasion until mum is home. Noone is expecting him to cook dinner.[/quote]
Yeah, I know, and I agree.

But she's saying she's relying on the older DC to be home (inferring they need to let him in). I'm just saying she can't rely on that, so he needs a key or a way to get a key (lock box or a neighbour, for example).

DonGray · 27/03/2021 15:42

Depends where you live - we are in London and I would let my 9 year old catch the bus solo.

HunkyPunk · 27/03/2021 15:59

This has really interested me. I wonder if you become less risk averse with your children, if (counterintuitively) you're in an area where the perceived level of 'risk' is elevated. (Not necessarily perceived as such by those living there, as they have become de-sensitised to it, maybe?)
For example, I understand that many children in London use the tube on their own to get to school etc. Don't know from what age this is considered normal, but I imagine I would have been appalled, if this had been an option for my dc when 10 or 11.

Baddernaus · 27/03/2021 17:48

No not in this country. I wouldn't let my child do this until they were at least 16 and even then with a girl I'd feel more uneasy doing so.

clary · 27/03/2021 17:56

@Baddernaus

No not in this country. I wouldn't let my child do this until they were at least 16 and even then with a girl I'd feel more uneasy doing so.
Wow where do you live?

OP I would be fine with this in the scenario you describe - crucially that your DS is all for it. I agree with others tho - why not walk, it would take 20 mins?

I wonder what is different now from 40 years ago btw? More traffic I guess - is the road an unsafe route hence catching the bus?

kowari · 27/03/2021 19:19

@Baddernaus

No not in this country. I wouldn't let my child do this until they were at least 16 and even then with a girl I'd feel more uneasy doing so.
What country is that?
Baddernaus · 27/03/2021 20:20

UK!!

onelostsoulswimminginafishbowl · 27/03/2021 20:40

Here in NZ kids go from 5 on the school bus alone. I'm not sure if it's the same in cities but certainly in rural locations they do (there is not much choice!) I know of 5 year olds that ride their bikes to the bus stop and then take the bus to school.
I grew up in the UK so I know its different but I think from 9 I either walked or took the bus.

delilahbucket · 27/03/2021 20:43

I wouldn't have let DS travel alone at that age. He was in year 6 before he was walking home alone and that was a ten minute walk and I was already home waiting for him.

ThatPoster · 27/03/2021 20:49

It's tricky. I wouldn't have let my then 9 year old on a bus, not because he'd get abducted, but he was just a bit silly and would have missed his stop or something.

What about walking? Is it an easy walk? Which year is he in? Can your older children pick him up?

titchy · 27/03/2021 20:49

@Baddernaus

UK!!
!!! Bloody hell you're doing your kids no favours - as soon as you untie those strings they'll be the most unaware, oblivious, unstreetwise snd vulnerable young people in town. And in a lot more danger than if you gradually let them develop their confidence and awareness of their surroundings.
jazzandh · 27/03/2021 20:51

If he is confident, let him have a go!

I went to school in central London, and from Y4/5 the girls were travelling the tube to school.

Mobile phone for peace of mind - older siblings at home when he gets there - I can't see an issue.

DivorcedAndDelighted · 27/03/2021 21:09

If you know your child and think he's generally sensible, I think it's fine. My friend's son has been doing this since age 9 as he's sensible & it's an easy bus journey and, as with you, older siblings would arrive home around the same time. My own youngest regularly walks home alone aged 10 in Yr 6 (half an hour's walk) and he's one of the youngest children in the year. We live in London. I do not worry about him because he's sensible and he knows how to ask for help. He doesn't usually have a phone with him - I think having the phone might put him more at risk of being hassled. I have a large family and have always encouraged my kids to walk around independently from around age 10. Only once has one of them had any trouble - a slightly older boy tried to get DS to go up an alley & asked if he had a phone, probably with intent to steal. DS did not, came home and told me, and we told the police. It was stressful but he handled it well, learned from the experience.

The school usually only "allows" Yr 6 to travel independently, but my friend with the 9yo discussed it with them. Frankly with 2 working parents I don't think it would be reasonable for the school to obstruct as otherwise they're going to be imposing costs on the family. Really it all comes down to the individual child. Quite a few of the Yr 6 kids travel independently, by bus or train, bike or foot. They love feeling independent.

TeeBee · 27/03/2021 21:12

My mum used to let me walk home from school at 9. This was in the late 70s/early 80s. During that time, I was followed home by strange men numerous times, picked on by a gang of girls (who wanted my sister's bike), and flashed at. So yeah, not always a bed of roses walking home.

Erkrie · 27/03/2021 21:15

You could try the journey with him a few times, see how he manages. Maybe 15 year old could meet him at bus stop at home. And give him a mobile with find my kids on it or similar to track his journey.

DivorcedAndDelighted · 27/03/2021 21:18

I agree with @titchy - by "protecting" kids from real life for that long, you can really put them at risk when they go to sixth form or college or uni and suddenly are exposed to more temptation and more risk, but wider society isn't looking out for them so much. The UK is an extremely safe country for children, statistically - the main risk of violence they face, as for women, is in the home.