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Am I an awful friend?

4 replies

username48583 · 27/03/2021 09:30

A friend of mine recently had a bad break up with her long term partner. For context the last 10 years she has been with him we would see each other 2/3 times a year and maybe speak/text on a monthly basis. Tbh this suited me well as I can find her hard work at the best of times.
Since the break up we all did our best to offer support due to Covid this was more in the form of long/late phone calls. Although she did seem to break the rules quite often with others. We are now 8 months down the line and I am finding her quite suffocating. For a start she regularly asks to come to my house despite lockdown measures which I have had to say no to about 10 times now. She rings me regularly sometimes even when I'm working which I just don't answer to. She keeps going on about when things get back to normal we should do this and that. The thing is I know I sound awful but it's like she thinks we can just go back to how things were 10 years ago. I am now married, work full time and have two young DC. I find her hard work and if I'm honest I prefer to keep a limited contact with her she does things like swear in front of my children which I have to ask her not to do.
Am I an awful friend? I have tried to be there for her she has had a bad time recently. She does have a lot of friends though and I feel like she has is someone who has to see/speak to at least one of them everyday.

OP posts:
jellyfishinatent · 27/03/2021 09:32

Youre not an awful friend, just have different ideas of friendship

It sounds like you don't like her though?

username48583 · 27/03/2021 09:37

It's not that I don't like her I just think we are very different people with very different view on things. I would say this gap has grown bigger in the last ten years.

OP posts:
AWamBamBoom · 27/03/2021 09:38

She wants more than you can give. You have other priorities now, that doesn't make you a bad friend
TBH I feel for her but I'd be pissed off if she kept asking to come round knowing I had children to look after, they come before her
Sounds harsh but that's how I'd feel

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Letsallscreamatthesistene · 27/03/2021 09:38

You're not an awful friend, but I can see a friend breakup on the horizon!

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