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Original poster

Promise ring

41 replies

Spr0cker50 · 26/03/2021 21:05

Does anyone else wear their promise ring on the same finger as engagement and wedding rings? I have been doing this lately and it feels right but people I know tend to wear the promise ring on their right hands. Is do you think its acceptable or a bit of a faux pas to put the three rings on the same finger?

OP posts:
BendingSpoons · 26/03/2021 22:25

People wear it on their right hand to distinguish it from an engagement ring. As you are married, it doesn't really matter what hand you wear it on.

TurquoiseDragon · 26/03/2021 22:31

@CandyLeBonBon

Oh god. I was with someone who wanted to give one of these back in the s. It's for people who don't want to commit but who want to placate their partner!
This is the same sentiment that I've heard about these rings. It's a new thing, and doesn't mean anything really.

Wear it where you want.

Viviennemary · 26/03/2021 22:34

I thought promise rings were for school age type relationships

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SionnachGlic · 26/03/2021 22:39

Its an American thing...usually assoc with keeping one's virtue until wed. In your circumstance OP, it doesn't matter in that initially I thought ypu were wearing it like pretending (to the outside world) to be married. But you are married, wear as many rings as you like on whatever fingers you like...no one will give a jot. That being said, I don't love a ring on every single finger...just not my style.

CandyLeBonBon · 26/03/2021 23:33

@TurquoiseDragon
It's really not new. I experienced this in tje late 80s/early 90s

RuggeryBuggery · 26/03/2021 23:37

How strange! When you were wearing it on your ring finger, before you were engaged, surely people assumed you had got engaged? I would have. Must have got annoying explaining that you weren’t!
It seems a very strange concept to ms

LemonSwan · 26/03/2021 23:49

Responses are a bit weird IMO.

Its a ring. No one knows the name or purpose of the ring except OP and most peoples objections seem to be to the 'promise' aspect.

So you can wear it however you like. Eternity rings are commonly worn with engagement and wedding so thats 3 and who would know the difference.

Objections to a pre engagement or placeholder ring also a bit odd. Average age for marriage is now 35. Many women have been cohabiting for a decade or more and dont fancy getting chatted up in the pub. Couples at this age are desperately trying to save for a house but still want a nice ring.

My placeholder was made from copper wire from b&q. I would wear it as I love it but it turns my finger green :)

TurquoiseDragon · 27/03/2021 01:21

[quote CandyLeBonBon]@TurquoiseDragon
It's really not new. I experienced this in tje late 80s/early 90s[/quote]
That's still very new, compared to the traditions and history of wedding, engagement and eternity rings. People have different ideas on what the rings are for, or what they are meant to represent.

And if they are a "promise to marry" then they are redundant, because that's what the engagement ring signifies.

Original poster
Spr0cker50 · 27/03/2021 06:43

For those of you saying its childish- we met in school and had been together about six months when he gave it to me. I think its quite amazing that all these years later it hasn't got lost or damaged somehow and still fits me.

I think I will alternate where I wear it though I think it really goes with the style of my engagement ring and fits just right on top of that

OP posts:
miltonj · 27/03/2021 07:49

@Spr0cker50 that's so lovely!
If it goes well with your other rings then wear it with them. If not on your other hand! Don't over think the etiquette, it's personal to you and what it signifies for you and your husband.

Mrgrinch · 27/03/2021 07:53

To be honest I think I'd just leave it in the jewellery box.

SionnachGlic · 27/03/2021 08:52

A 'placeholder' ring? Sounds like degrees of commitment to me & this is 'maybe, but not sure'. As a loved up teenager, I'd prob think a promise ring very romantic (never to be referred to as placeholder) but as a full grown adult I'd feel strung along (& insulted) if it was a discussion which leads to some sort of a ring...but not a proposal or an engagement. It strikes me as a way to placate a needy girlfriend who wants some sort of permanent symbol but bf is not fully willing to go next level. Put it like this, if my DD arrived home with a 'placeholder' ring, I'd be having a straight talking chat & hoping her bf wasn't some sort of dithering twat...

RuggeryBuggery · 27/03/2021 14:12

It’s all fine, agree wear it if you like and whatever looks good...

I think some of the Hmm responses are because of the way the OP is phrased assuming that it’s a ‘thing’, lots of people have them and everyone knows what they are. Not the case as this thread shows!

AnneLovesGilbert · 27/03/2021 14:15

Whatever feels right to you, your ring, your hands, your happy memories.

mixedfeelsaboutthispl · 27/03/2021 14:23

I dont think there's any rules for this type of thing? Wear it where you like.

I also thought promise rings were American virginity stuff

SleepingStandingUp · 27/03/2021 14:35

Assuming you're no longer 16, you can wear it wherever you want. Who are these people who you think care?

Do you think you're stood at the school gates and the other Moms are whispering or at the water cooler at work?
Omg, did you SEE what Sprocket had on her ring finger? Her promise ring. I mean seriously, I snogged him in high school too, he's not that hot! She acts like she's soooo classy but EVERYONE knows you wear your promise ring on your right hand once he's upgraded and put £3k on your left hand!! Embarrassing!!

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