Happy Funeral / memorial poem - such a thing?

[pasinphoebe]

I’m going to reading a poem at a funeral for a family member. However I’m struggling to find anything .. I don’t want a typical ‘funeral’ poem .. eg no Rosetti, no Auden .. I really wanted a gentle poem about her .. smiling, happy, joyful. If that makes sense?

I read that modern poems can’t be written out on the internet which may not be helping.
Please can anyone help me honour a much loved family member by suggesting any poems about a joyful, fun, warm person ?

Is it a man or a woman? My nephew read a lovely poem at my Dad's funeral... about a man's life being measured in many ways, not just time... can't remember the title though.

Could you or someone else who knew the deceased actually write one?

'He is gone' by David Harkins
You can shed tears because he is gone, or you can smile because he lived...
This poem got me through losing my dad. I think it's such a lovely way to think about someone who has gone.

Mamaduckbone - “He (she) is gone “ is a truly lovely poem. I read it at my Grandma’s funeral and it seemed so fitting .

I read ‘Feel no guilt in laughter’ at my dads funeral which I really liked.

I like this one
It was read the funeral of a friend, who sadly died aged 23
www.funeralguide.co.uk/help-resources/arranging-a-funeral/planning-the-service/funeral-poems/i-am-standing-upon-the-seashore

I read 'Happy the man' by John Dryden at my dads funeral

•	Happy the man, and happy he alone,
•	He who can call today his own:
•	He who, secure within, can say,
•	Tomorrow do thy worst, for I have lived today.
Be fair or foul or rain or shine,
•	The joys I have possessed, in spite of fate, are mine.
•	Not heaven itself upon the past has power,
•	But what has been, has been, and I have had my hour

Just re read and sorry that doesn't fit with a female.

@mamaduckbone

'He is gone' by David Harkins You can shed tears because he is gone, or you can smile because he lived... This poem got me through losing my dad. I think it's such a lovely way to think about someone who has gone.

We also had this for my DFs funeral recently. DD1 read it and I look back at the words sometimes now when I'm having a particular bad day.

Sorry for your loss

I always think this poem is quite uplifting (although appreciate still emotional)

Do Not Stand at My Grave and Weep
Do not stand at my grave and weep,
I am not there, I do not sleep.

I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glint on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.

When you wake in the morning hush,
I am the swift, uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circling flight.
I am the soft starlight at night.

Do not stand at my grave and weep.
I am not there, I do not sleep.
(Do not stand at my grave and cry.
I am not there, I did not die!)

Do you know what their favourite poem was? At my mum's funeral, we had an excerpt from an audiobook she loved.

The Seashore poem is lovely, I've never read that before

We had dancing with the daffodils at my DMs funeral this week. I think it's lovely

We had 'Albert and the Lion' at my mum's. It was her favourite poem, very Lancashire like her, and the one she used to recite when a 'talent' was required. Is there anything like that which could be appropriate?

I read When I am old I shall wear purple because it reminded me of her. About age, but not death.

Also, if they are atheists the physicists eulogy. Not a poem but awesome.

I’m dancing with the Daffodils
In Spring-time’s warm embrace -
With golden hearts and coronets
They’re swaying with such grace

Together waltzing in the sun
A wonderful display
Upon a ballroom trimmed with green
On this, a lovely day

Such beauty thus besets my heart
And fills me with delight -
I’m dancing with the Daffodils
Of yellow, gold and white

Their perfume drifting soft and sweet
Across the verdant land -
I long to pluck them from the earth
To hold them in my hand

I wonder if they see me here
Amidst their glowing throng -
I’m dancing with the Daffodils
And singing all day long

Warning by Jenny Joseph. It’s about a lady who plans to grow old disgracefully and misbehave as she ages I read it at my mother in laws funeral. The first few lines go

When I am an old woman I shall wear purple
With a red hat which doesn’t go and doesn’t suit me
And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves
And satin sandals and say we’ve no money for butter
I shall sit down on the pavement when I am tired
And gooble up samples in shops and press alarm bells.
My mother in law was a fabulous person, great fun and very loving and this poem was very her. I managed to read it without crying but lots of people who had never heard it before sought me out at the wake to say how much they loved it and they smiled through the tears.

@FlipperSkipper

I read ‘Feel no guilt in laughter’ at my dads funeral which I really liked.

This

My dad read "He is Gone" at DH's funeral. At the time I couldn't see the hope that the poem represents, but I can with the passage of time. It's a lovely poem.

On The Death Of The Beloved by John O'Donohue might fit the bill.

www.poemhunter.com/poem/on-the-death-of-the-beloved/

It depends on your relationship with your loved one and your audience, but Donne's Valediction forbidding mourning is beautiful. www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/44131/a-valediction-forbidding-mourning

If you want a little short one, this one by Rumi is nice.

Thank you all for your time and suggestions I really do appreciate it.
They are all welcome, I am going make a list to go through tomorrow. It was an Aunt of mine, a very special lady with an amazing sense of humour and smile which is what I’m struggling to capture.

Does it have to be a poem? We couldn't find 2 that were suitable for my dad's funeral so one of the readings was song lyrics as we felt more appropriate and 'him'.

And I'm sorry for your loss, your aunt sounds ace.