DS says he's only 1% British

[FatCatThinCat]

We're a mixed citizenship family. I have Swedish, British and Irish citizenship, as does DS, and DH has Swedish and British. We live in Sweden but our home language is English, although we all speak Swedish when out and about.

Yesterday, 7 year old autistic DS declared with absolute certainty that he was 99% Swedish and only 1% British (totally forgot about his Irish citizenship). I tried to explain that he was equally all three but he was having none of it. This morning again he's insisting he's Swedish and said he doesn't want to go to his native English class today. So I thought I'd better talk to his teacher about it at drop off.

So she tells me that yesterday in class they were talking about Easter and different traditions from around the world. Here kids get a cardboard egg full of easter sweets, marshmallow rabbits, jellybean eggs etc. The someone said that British kids get chocolate eggs, not sweetie eggs. DS apparantly became quite alarmed at this and this is why he's now almost entirely Swedish.

So in a 7 year old's head citizenship is based upon where you get sweets.

Is mine the only one who puts 2 and 2 together and gets a bag of pick and mix?

@FatCatThinCat you could reassure him that British kids also get sweetie eggs? As well as rabbits, marshmallow treats (rabbits and chick marshmallows on a stick are a favourite here). Plus you get sweets inside the chocolate eggs here too!

But tbh I get it. I was devastated when we returned to the U.K. and I discovered there’s no brown cheese!!

@CatsHairEverywhere

But tbh I get it. I was devastated when we returned to the U.K. and I discovered there’s no brown cheese!!

Brown cheese?

Being the gentle, kind parent that I am, I told him it was irrelevant as boys who mishave at bedtime get nothing.

I'd also like to know about brown cheese.

Aww! Excellent logic though. Maybe they should have both?

And another: brown cheese?!

I want to be a swedish kid - the sweetie eggs sound great!

He does get both but he doesn't have a very good memory so doesn't know that.

I'm with your ds !! If I could amend my nationality to get a chocolate egg as well as sweets I would!!

Mine do this kind of thing too. It's also tricky because we are mixed race, and one of my older 2 identifies as completely British, and one as his grandparents' ethnicity - though he looks the most white of all of us, so confuses people no end when he insists that he is [to use a non-real example] Hawaiian, and says 'aloha' for hello

Also, show your DS some sugar eggs full of more sugar sweets we used to get these too!

Norwegian brown cheese CatsHair? DH has a childhood friend who moved to Norway with his wife about 20 years ago, he visited a few years back and introduced us to brown cheese. Is it actually cheese? We were never quite sure and he wouldn't give up the secrets He described it as 'Norway's Marmite - if you've been eating it for years you'll probably like it, if not, you'll think it's vile!' (we didn't think it was that bad but definitely an acquired taste - more sweet than cheesy)

@Needcoffeecoffeecoffee

I'm with your ds !! If I could amend my nationality to get a chocolate egg as well as sweets I would!!

I agree. Although I'd like to retain the option to switch as the festive occasion requires. I wouldn't want to get stuck with one that had a worse Christmas for example.

I was all Sympathy and empathy until you mentioned the brown cheese which. Is. Grim.
My friend burst into tears on receiving brown cheese for nourishment after giving birth.

Point out to your ds that the chocolate eggs are much bigger than normal eggs and come with sweets too. He'll be on the next plane 😄.

TBF it is more Norwegian than Swedish, but for those in the uk who miss it (weirdos) there's an online shop called skandi kitchen or similar which sells Brunost.

Aww kid logic!

When do yours get xmas presents? Ive told mine that the father christmas from your mothers country is the deciding factor, so thats why they get theirs in the morning.

As a mother of 4 who have grown up with dual English Danish citizenship I have had to accept as they grow up they work out their identity after what feels right for them.

Dd1 is dual citizen
Dd2 is currently applying for her right to keep her dual citizenship
Ds has no wish to keep his Danish birth right will remain a British citizen and not apply for the dual
Dd3 lives in Denmark slowly is becoming more and more Danish and I a few years I have no doubt she will only view herself Danish not English

None of them are wrong. If your ds wants to be Swedish right now let him. Keep his options open for later but if right now he only sees himself as Swedish thats ok. Doesn't change the legalities and you can keep talking in English etc at home.

To be fair, much as I love a hot cross bun, I would gladly offer up 50% of my British nationality to have an annual requirement of semlor and Princess cake.

@StrictlyAFemaleFemale

Aww kid logic!

When do yours get xmas presents? Ive told mine that the father christmas from your mothers country is the deciding factor, so thats why they get theirs in the morning.

Love the deciding factor.

Although there's definitely room for both a visit from St Nicholas on the 6th and for Christmas visits from Father Christmas.

There are huge advantages to indulging in one's Swedish side. For example today is Waffle Day and everyone will be having waffles. It's not actually waffle day, it's Our Lady's Day, which in Swedish is Vår Fru Dag. Say Vår Fru fast enough with a Swedish accent and Waffle Day is born.

@StrictlyAFemaleFemale

Aww kid logic!

When do yours get xmas presents? Ive told mine that the father christmas from your mothers country is the deciding factor, so thats why they get theirs in the morning.

I've told him similar. His name is on the British list so Father Christmas will loop back to deliver his when he gets to his name. He's not complained about this. Yet!

LOL
My kids are 1/4 Thai and the rest British. They have decided though that they must be at least half Asian because that means they should have Asian food half of the time, especially the Thai rolled ice-cream they had that one time at the Cambridge Thai festival...

Given how the UK is currently with the nasty incompetent corrupt government, I would not blame him for wanting to be 0% British. Though I'd feel sad about him not wanting to acknowledge his Irish ancestry in your shoes.

My DDs have difficulty understanding they are both 100% British (legally and genetically, but not culturally). Because one was born in England, one in Germany. The one born in Germany has no claim whatsoever on German citizenship. The one born in England has lived a bigger proportion of her life in Germany (back in England now).
Actually adults have difficulty understanding the eldest DD has no claim whatsoever on German citizenship despite being born there. (Or EU citizenship.. didn't see that one coming 10years ago!)

@CuthbertDibbleandGrubb

Given how the UK is currently with the nasty incompetent corrupt government, I would not blame him for wanting to be 0% British. Though I'd feel sad about him not wanting to acknowledge his Irish ancestry in your shoes.

I think he just forgot. With porcelein white skin, freckles, big blue eyes and red hair he can't really get away from it. Swedes are also generally very fair, but they're more honey toned. Stood next to DS they look tanned.

Well I'm with him,
I can be French or Italian depending which wine I've opened. Sometimes I'm Argentinian or Chilean. I've also been Australian and briefly German.

Is this what you meant?