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Things you thought were normal if you grew up working class

666 replies

Anycrispsleft · 25/03/2021 08:59

Inspired by that "thought it was posh, turns out it wasn't" thread, I wondered if anyone else remembers stuff from a working class childhood that you thought everyone did and actually no it was just us?

Mine is playing with stray dogs. I was an adult before I realised that approaching strange dogs is meant to be dangerous. In my estate there were two strays (and one owned dog that would escape his garden) and they would chum along with us when we were out playing. We'd feed them crisps. (Luckily for the dogs I think we figured that crisps were more appropriate food for dogs than chocolate, as they were more salty and a bit like meat.) It would never have occurred to us not to befriend any other creature of the street. There was precious little else to do, why wouldn't we add a dog or two into the pack?

OP posts:
enjoyingscience · 26/03/2021 14:07

Should also add - I grew up in a mining village in the north east in the 80s. The heart was ripped out of our community, and the structures of our working class life were being systematically dismantled. Maggie thatcher was pretty much the bogeyman.

Frickssake · 26/03/2021 14:16

Artic roll!!!

limpingparrot · 26/03/2021 14:16

Going to the shop with 20p to buy the S-U-N on my own spelled it out load so I got the right paper! Probably going to the shop alone at that age. Playing out all day with all the kids around. Collecting aluminium cans for the money rather than the environment.

WombatChocolate · 26/03/2021 15:03

...

HalfShrunkMoreToGo · 26/03/2021 15:03

Yes to 'fancy' puds like arctic roll, vienetta or the real crowning glory, of a Sara lee double chocolate gateaux when it was on offer in Beejam (Iceland), if it was a special occasion.

We used to spend the summer holidays working in the fruit farm a 3 mile walk from our house when I was about 11, me, my brothers and a couple of friends would wander there at the crack of dawn, spend several hours picking strawberries for 30p a punnet and would finish around lunchtime with £10-15 quid each in a little brown envelope and a free bowl of strawberries and cream. Then later in the season we'd go scrumping with my mum at the local parks and university campus to gather as many apples and blackberries as we could which would be made into bramble jelly or frozen for pies and crumble throughout the winter.

ghostyslovesheets · 26/03/2021 15:07

I had an odd upbringing - mum was a single parent (from 1974) with 2 kids but we had a house and a mortgage which she was able to keep. We had bugger all money wise but my mum was middle class.

We always knew we had not a lot of money because everything we had 'couldn;t be replaced' if we broke it - and we often hid when the door was knocked as it was somebody chasing a debt.

But we had good homecooked meals, home baking etc

We had lots of second hand clothes and we lived in jumble sales - most of our toys where second hand. My mum collected beautiful vintage clothes - ball gowns and 60's dresses which I used to wear.

Mum also made a lot of our clothes - she was the queen of making do and mending - she actually DID do the 5 meal chicken and she had a way of making everything magical - sandwiches like the queen - had the crusts cur off and had to be eaten with your little fingers in the air (because the bread had gone mouldy) lots of long walks blackberry picking etc.

Mum used to take in French students in the summer and made friends with their parents and teachers so our holidays where usually Magic Bus to Paris - visit one family - then off to Holland where some friends of friends lived - couple of youth hostels (and hitchhiking) finally to Germany to stay with my Uncle and his family (RAF) then hitch back to Paris!

So we where poor but I didn't relate to a lot of my peers who where working class and who's parents often labelled my mum a whore or my sister and i 'poor bastard kids'.

WombatChocolate · 26/03/2021 15:22

We had one bathroom with a separate loo with no basin. I remember my Dad only ever went in the bathroom once a week - for his weekly bath but would never wash his hands after the loo. He washed and shaved in the kitchen sink and kept his stuff under the sink for that. He would strip off his top half and wash in the morning and evening.

Dinner was always at 5pm on the dot....Dad got home about 5 mins before that and clearly it would have been impossible for him to wait for food.

Once a week dinner was ‘salad’ - this consisted of a slice of shiny ham or some corned beef, plus some tinned potatoes and a lettuce leaf and a sliced tomato. For some reason it was essential to have half a bowl of packet soup before hand so you’d had hot food...but only half a bowl because the packet had to serve 4.

I too remember lunch being soup with bread, but definitely not with a sandwich and a sandwich being 1 filling only. If out it would be packed lunch and flask, and us longing to try the Happy Eater or Little Chef, but knowing that was never going to happen.

On holiday we would look for a pub in the evening. Some had a children’s room which was often a shed out the back with fruit machines which was rather damp and smelly. We could have a lemonade in the car and maybe share a packet of crisps.

My parents would never pay for a workman or any kind of service but seemed able to do everything. Dad could service cars, do electrical work, plumbing, decorating and mending things. Most of it made him cross and angry because it never went as well as he hoped. Mum could bake and cook and sew clothes and they both grew lots of fruit and veg in the garden.

We were allowed to do some paid for activities such as swimming lessons. Activities which involved buying equipment or uniforms were strongly discouraged. Eventually I went to Brownies because someone gave me their old uniform. The subs were low so that was okay. Music lessons and sport which needed equipment and things like ballet which needed shoes and a leotard were out. Horse riding and piano was clearly just for poshos.

My Mum in particular had a bit of a chip on her shoulder. She didn’t like middle class women or anyone who she was sure was looking down on her. She didn’t like shop staff who she seemed to think were all pressuring her to buy stuff. For some reason she spent a lot of time glaring at them and really didn’t like it if shop staff asked if they could help or tried to engage at all.

My parents weren’t badly off and by working hard had bought a house as they got married, which most middle class people couldn’t afford these days. But they had grown up poor with my mum growing up in a 1 bed flat and money being very limited and I think the attitudes stayed with them. They valued hard work from adults and wanted us to work hard at school so we might be able to have professional jobs. They definitely looked down on those in council housing and anyone on benefits. They were if the view that poverty was mostly due to idleness.

They were proud of my brother and I going to uni and getting professional jobs. When they used to take us at the start of term and other parents were around who were mostly middle class, they didn’t always find chatting to them easy or feel comfortable in the uni environment. They sometimes felt we spoke down to them or were disparaging about their values and attitudes when we were early 20s and probably ‘know all’s’. Today they find some of the things we do don’t sit well with them....they think we pay workman for services we could do ourselves and waste money by eating out too often. They think the children have too many toys and do t have to wait for things. They would still always re-use tinfoil, only buy new toiletries if the last was fully used up, have the hot water in for a very short time and cut out coupons from magazines. They are still a bit suspicious of some middle class habits and can behave deferentially or slightly aggressively rather than feeling comfortable in social situations.

Mytwopennysworth · 26/03/2021 15:31

@ClearMountain

When I went to university it took me a whole term to get used to living with central heating. I was so used to it being quite cold inside! I’m in my 40s and if I’m cold during the day I still automatically put my dressing gown on. If DH is at home he gives me a weird look and tells Alexa to turn up the heating.
Omg this is me and my mc husband. I will ask why the heating is on, he will say me and the kids are cold, he’s referring to him and the kids lounging around on their tablets in their pjs or in tshirts and shorts 🤷🏼‍♀️
ghostyslovesheets · 26/03/2021 15:36

I hear you - DD's in shorts and crop tops 'mummmmmm it's cold put the heating up' me 'put on a bloody jumper'!

Heating is one 2 hours in the morning and evening - no higher than 20 degrees - and that's too hot for me

As I kid I used to write on the frost on the inside of my window!

Crazydoglady1980 · 26/03/2021 15:42

@EdgeOfFortyNine

We used to play a game of Hide Behind The Couch (couch/ settee, definitely not sofa) if the doorbell rang on a Thursday night. It was because my mum didn't have enough money to pay the milkman or the Co-op insurance man, so we had to hide behind the settee in case they looked through the front window and saw that we were in.

It was only when I was asking DH if his family did this too, and he looked incredulous, that I realised it wasn't normal.

We did this too but it was from the milkman. Every Friday during the holidays, we wouldn’t be allowed downstairs until there had been a knock on the door and we had to be really quiet!
WombatChocolate · 26/03/2021 15:48

Yes, I remember one winter when we lived in just the kitchen and the living room was locked up so we didn’t have to heat it. Hot water wasn’t always on tap, but you had to boil a kettle (on the gas hob) for washing up or having a wash.

My parents were always shouting at us to turn lights off and leaving food was considered very wasteful especially if it was meat.

They used the car as little as possible, always considering the cost of any journey.

I remember my Nan saving coppers all year in a pig money box and then when it was holiday time we might each get £1 or £2 for holiday spending money. That was exciting. It was a no to school dinners and Mum could make our packed lunches much cheaper.

Whenever we saw something in the shops that we wanted or that someone else had that we’d like, we would ask but didn’t really have an expectation of getting it. You might get a bike (second hand and painted by Dad who also made ‘stickers’ to put on it like the new ones had...never quite the same) for your birthday or some other things...we always had presents for our birthdays, but you didn’t get much the rest of the year apart from Christmas.

I do remember circling things in the Argos book and then spending all year saving up pocket money for something like a game of Monopoly.

I remember bringing letters home about school trips. There were some residential ones and even ski trips. We were allowed one during secondary school and it was a big deal. Some kids went on them all.

Tabitha005 · 26/03/2021 15:59

The shower attachment on the bath taps that would regularly 'ping' off and send water all over the place.

Those cylindrical Bernard Matthews 'turkey breast joints' that you cooked in their inner plastic wrapping. This culinary delight was the basis of just about every roast dinner of my childhood up until the age of around ten or eleven, after which, my Mum somehow magically learned how to cook an actual chicken (I think my paternal grandmother may have had something to do with this) and the BM offering was consigned to history.

Magazines and books in the loo. This is a habit I always found faintly revolting, for reasons I never could put my finger on, as a child and still do.

Books: growing up, my house was always chock-full of books. They were everywhere and on every subject imaginable - fiction and non-fiction. I clearly remember when I started becoming aware that so few of my friends' houses contained hardly any books at all and that reading was treated with suspicion and, in many instances, derision. I know this isn't a 'working class' thing, but I didn't have any friends who WEREN'T working class and we were the only family who had books in any great number. It seemed absolutely daft to me that anyone wouldn't want to be reading at any time of the day or night. I remember asking one of my friends, when we were about 8 or 9; 'Where do you keep your books'? and feeling really sorry for her when she told me they didn't have any because none of her family liked reading.

Regularly counting all the pennies and two p's in my big demijohn bottle and dreaming of the day I could afford to buy something I really, REALLY wanted (whatever it may have been) with the proceeds.

Putting 50p in the electric meter.

Taking my dog everywhere with me - she was always with me and my friends wherever we went.

Mimilamore · 26/03/2021 16:11

Going to the bookies for my friend's mum with a note to put her bet on.
Looking for bottles in all the bins and bushes to take back to shop for the deposit money.
Sides to middle when sheets got worn.
Ice inside bedroom windows.
All old vests and pants used as floor cloths once they got too worn to wear.
Any slivers of soap stuck together to make another bar.
Washing hair in washing up liquid.
Washing tights out every night and drying on mantle piece as only had one pair.
We weren't poor, just seemed to be how it was then (50/60s)

Foxhasbigsocks · 26/03/2021 16:13

My nana also did shower with a measuring jug and had the rubber hose too

A few mums on the road used her as a bank - she had a little pocket book and they would deposit money with her to save up for the catch trip to Blackpool or for Christmas to stop themselves or their husbands spending it before. This used to worry me because I didn’t like the neighbourhood thinking she had cash there.

ProfYaffle · 26/03/2021 16:14

The central heating thing is a weird one.

Our family fortunes changed when I was about 13 and we were better off after that. From then on my Dad always had the heating on as a sign of affluence. Cold home = poverty and was something to be ashamed of.

Dh comes from a much more middle class background. They're much happier to keep the heating off and trill brightly about putting jumpers on.

Dh gets really Hmm about me keeping the heating on in the daytime.

WombatChocolate · 26/03/2021 16:18

Oh yes, those little songs envelopes for slivers of soap so they could all get used. My Dad used to cut the end off toothpaste too to get the last drop out and we had watered down very cheap washing up liquid.

My mum was quite keen on putting cheaper products in more expensive packaging, like washing up liquid.

We always had a very strong air freshener spray for use in the small loo which was separate to the bathroom. With the door shut, a spray of that would make you choke.

My Dad liked to use that tracing paper type loo paper instead of soft stuff. I could never understand why.

You were only allowed to put things in the washing basket when they had been worn multiple times. It was 2 school blouses per week and the skirt was only washed at the end of a half term or term. Washing too often was seen as expensive and not necessary at all.

Old clothes always became rags or were used for patchwork.

ProfessionalWeirdo · 26/03/2021 16:42

Having to walk everywhere because it was the only thing we could afford.

Sandra15 · 26/03/2021 17:37

@enjoyingscience

Everyone smoking, across all generations. I remember being told off when I was 11 for not having started yet. Classy lot, my family!
Shock This sounds like something that would happen in 1935!
cateycloggs · 26/03/2021 17:41

It irritates me when I see or read assumptions about working class life being automatically narrow-minded, uneducated and unmannered. Maybe it's because I grew up in the 70s with a father who'd left school early in the 30s due to the Depression and served throughout WW2 he knew there was a wide world out there and was politically aware.

I had older brothers and sisters who had a variety of interests: science, electronics, politics, literature, music and poetry so we had books, dictionaries and encyclopedias at home and used the library a lot. My brothers had a telescope and binoculars and learnt about flying and astronomy through the Air Cadets, my sister had a microscope and did her own experiments. They would share their knowledge with the younger ones. Politics were discussed in depth at home and my dad always voted and explained the concept of being a floating voter to me quite early. One of my brothers became a local councillor and served for many years.

As I have mentioned previously we had fresh fruit and vegetables from our garden which he cutivated after working outdoors every day, we sat down to a proper tea at a table-clothed cover table everyday and at weekends, he was able to bring home a wide variety of proper sports equipment, we had numerous board games, played chess against each other, the elders had record players and radios and magazine subscriptions , younger children had several comics - Bunty and Beano, Dad read the newspaper and discussed current events. He did not go the pub or club or drink at home, he smoked a pipe as his only indulgence. He rode a bike all his life although he could drive he could never afford a car and he took us out for country walks every weekend. Oh and he did not shout or swear at us or hit us.

My point being we were poorer than most of our neighbours, we had lost our mum early and that caused long-lasting family truama, the house was cold and ill furnished, we went unwashed for the same reasons as many other posters, had no washing machine or phone. All that and being outsiders in a close-knit community led to bullying in school and in the streets but I would never say we were anything other than working class.

LittleJules59 · 26/03/2021 17:43

Never using the front door. Only strangers used the front and it was so rarely used it was tricky to open. Quite a fire risk with hindsight.

Balldog · 26/03/2021 17:48

My mum always said RED salmon was posh - pink salmon was what we had!!

enjoyingscience · 26/03/2021 17:50

Ha, more like 1994 @Sandra15! It was one of the more crazy aunts though, so you didn’t take her too seriously. The same woman once bit her own dog.

7catsandcounting · 26/03/2021 17:53

Didn't everyone have a pop man?
My mum used to hide money around the house from my dad. She'd tape notes to the inside of my dollhouse roof. I used to think everyone's mums had to do that. I knew it was because my dad would spend it at the pub. I must have been 6 when I realised he was a wrong'un.

IntermittentParps · 26/03/2021 17:55

Meals were breakfast, dinner & tea. Supper meant a snack before bed.
Radio was strictly pop music only. We didn’t know R3 or R4 existed. Me either! And it was commercial radio at that, with the naff adverts.

Knowing never to invite anyone over around a mealtime because there’s as nothing to spare. Yes! And legging it if you were at a friend's house and a parent was heard to say the word 'tea'. Or actually getting sent home by the friend's parent because 'we're about to have our tea.'

Just assuming that, despite the fact I always got excellent marks, I would leave school at 16 and work in a shop. University was ‘only for rich people’ I actually did make it to uni, but after I graduated I had a job at Directory Enquiries. It was a stopgap and I told my mum so, but she was genuinely puzzled and said 'That's not a bad job though, is it?' I mean, it isn't, but having spent three years at uni and got a degree I was intending to move on.

I remember going round my posh friend's house and seeing wholemeal bread and semi skimmed milk for the first time! There was fruit too that wasn't just a banana, apple and orange. God yes. And things like vitamin supplements.

Also, I just assumed that if people had holidays at all, they were a week in a caravan in Skegness. Was Shock at my friend's family going to France.

GoodbyePorpoiseSpit · 26/03/2021 17:57

Smoking :)

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