What sort of therapist do I want/need?

[LetTheRiverAnswer]

I'm fed up of myself and finally going to take the plunge and try to talk through all the things that are bothering me, but I'm not sure where to start! The main things are probably low level depression and anxiety, which I think of as just being the way I am, but perhaps I should be more proactive about dealing with, being massively avoidant and lacking direction. I have a degree but never pursued a career, and feel totally lost and overwhelmed trying to think of what I might want to do, but I would like to be doing something. This is probably my main motivation at the moment, but I talk myself out of everything before I start, because I anticipate how stressed I'll be.
So do I look for some kind of therapist specialising in career issues, or a general therapist to try to get a handle on changing my mindset? Anyone else felt like this and found something helpful?

I went to a homeopath but interested to see what else is recommended.

Wrote a post and lost it, argh. Look at Acceptance and Commitment therapy and Compassion focused therapy.

I have an excellent therapist/counsellor. She uses different types of therapy for each challenge I talk to her about.

She's my fourth therapist I've had and her style works for me. She's quite no nonsense, and she also does clinical supervision so I can talk to her about my job and about my emotional behaviour side. She's also trained in brain spotting which I'm really looking forward to trying out with her. Psycho-education I think is the term of the style I find helpful.

My last therapist however, was really warm and had the unconditional positive regard down to a tee. I needed that at that time in my life. We delved deep into my childhood trauma and I wouldn't be able to do that completely with the therapist I have now as I often feel like a colleague rather than a patient (I work in a similar field so we have more Psycho-education around my behaviours rather then emotional discussions).

I would recommend finding a therapist who is trained in brain spotting. If you google it you will be able to find out more about it - to sum it up you look at lights pointing in different directions which activates past trauma in your brain to be able to process.

@BoomTastic1

Wrote a post and lost it, argh. Look at Acceptance and Commitment therapy and Compassion focused therapy.

I came to say ACT too. I have an excellent therapist (ex NHS psychologist) who uses this as her main model and she’s brilliant. I didn’t originally go for the same reasons as you - I’m autistic and struggling with a lot of current and past stuff, and she has a lot of experience with autism. But she’s been really seen me through a journey from dealing with my past to planning for my future.

The therapist themselves is so so important though, and the relationship you have with them.

Shine if it’s not too outing I’d love to know what you do for work. It’s so lovely that you can have that link between professional and personal. I have been starting to look at a career in this field and my therapist has been so encouraging.

Thank you for the very helpful posts. I feel a bit of a chest as I'm not "that bad" and have no trauma, but I do feel like my life has been on hold for a very long time, and the only obstacle really, is me! Interesting that you mention autism, singtothesky, in wondering if I'm less neuro typical than I assumed, since two of my children are autistic. Lots to think about!

River don’t feel bad for needing therapy without a “good enough” reason. Feeling you need it is absolutely good enough! 💐

Therapy is an investment in yourself, it’s sounds like a humanistic model might work well for you if the therapist is right. By that I mean person centred therapy might be really helpful but with someone who is quite dynamic (some person centred therapists can be a bit passive in my experience). In all honesty the right “fit” is more important than their theory base in that a good therapeutic relationship is shown to account significantly in outcomes in therapy.

You could also look at coaching, which tends to be a bit more dynamic and goal oriented.

I’m a therapist.

I would recommend a person centred or integrative modality if you want to do long term work or ACT if you want to do short term work.

However, it’s hugely about the relationship between the therapist and the client so it’s better to find someone who works for you above anything else.

Therapist here. Honestly, the most important factor in therapy is the relationship between client and therapist. Without that, nothing happens. You need to feel able to trust your therapist, and you need to feel that you can be open with them and not judged. The modality (or type of therapist) matters much less than that.
I would have a look on the various directories (BACP, Counselling Directory, Psychology Today) and have a read through and see if there are people you like the look of and the sound of. Then, contact them, and if you still like them then ask for an introductory chat with them where you can get more of a feel for them as a person, ask how they work, see if that makes sense to you and your particular issues, and see if you feel comfortable with them. Most therapists will happily do that without charge.
Please don't feel like a cheat. Yes, we deal with awful trauma, but we also are equally happy to work with "my life is just not how I want it and I feel a bit crap". It's not a competition, really, and nobody should turn you away because your problems "aren't serious enough" - nobody has the right to judge that. If you want therapy, then you deserve therapy!

Thank you, this has been such a helpful thread already, the understanding as much as the practical advice on finding a therapist. I think seeing it as self investment and the first stage in "doing something" is the mental shift I needed

@SingToTheSky I work in social care with a care leavers case load. I wouldn't recommend my job/any front line job to be quite honest, I'd like a job where its not front line as I'm completely burnt out by it.

@LetTheRiverAnswer you don't need awful trauma to have therapy, or brain spotting! It apparently works with motivation and general apathy. You'll be paying someone to listen to you for an hour, whatever you want to talk about is completely fine, its your space for that time to off load and work whatever it is you want to work out.

That must be stressful shine I’m glad your own therapist can give you support!

River I love the idea of the mental shift and self investment.