DP has cancer, the type of cancer he has has a really poor survival rate and we already know his prognosis is very poor. He had major surgery to remove part of his pancreas/stomach/intestine/bile duct during which they discovered a tumour in his liver too which made his low chance of survival even lower. He's been having palliative chemo and on Friday we finally find out if it is showing any signs of working (the appointment has been cancelled that many times I have lost count, he is one of the people who have found cancer services have been badly affected by the bloody virus).
I am scared. I am shit scared. I don't want him to die but we are already four months in to the six months he was told he had but as his cancer is more common in people 20 years older than him no-one seems to know how accurate six months is. I am trying to stay busy. Our foster baby is making sure we are staying occupied but the tension is rising. The idea that he might not be here in the summer is too much to take.