Clonazepam experience?? Looking for meds options

[SunnyAfternoonInWinter]

I've recently been prescribed clonazepam (klonopin) (I'm not in the U.K.) and it's been weirdly wonderful. I'd been struggling with PND but have had panic anxiety since my late teens. I feel calm, even when my baby is screaming, I don't feel panic at making phone calls to sort out issues. I promptly replied to emails without issues. I feel like this is what normal people are like, but I know it's an addictive medication. I was only given 10 pills and my dose is half a pill. I'm about to run out and won't be given a refill so I'm trying to work out what's next? Does anyone take this long term? Or is there anyone medication that would have the same effect?

To give an example before I was trying to get an ADD diagnosis so I could get meds to focus but maybe my issue has always been panic anxiety and I need meds for that instead?? I want to feel this calm and focused all the time!! I don't want to go back to brain fog and work panic.

DW is addicted to clonazepam. Has been since 1987.

Not much more to say, really. Benzodiazepines are useful but filthy.

Personally, I'd run a mile.

Sorry if this isn't very helpful, but it's been a source of regret for DW that she's been hooked on a drug with no warning. Especially since there's now 30 years of studies to show why long term benzo use is really a bad idea.

Apparently modern doctors aren't supposed to allow patients to get hooked.

And just for the avoidance of doubt, I'm talking the real deal addiction here. Not the whiffly sort that people confuse with addiction. We're talking a physical addiction that can trigger seizures and death if you suddenly stop taking the stuff.

No, there are no other drugs that have the same effects without the same drawbacks. Though you could try something like pregabalin where the effect isn't quite so impressive and the drawbacks aren't quite so obvious.

@CurseMyTinyThumbs

No, there are no other drugs that have the same effects without the same drawbacks. Though you could try something like pregabalin where the effect isn't quite so impressive and the drawbacks aren't quite so obvious.

Pregabalin - and gabapentin - aren't to be toyed with either. They're both addictive.

www.bmj.com/content/369/bmj.m1315

Well yes.

Damn. I was hoping there was something else.

Now I know what this feels like I'm not sure what do going forward. I already feel like I need to take them to feel this way and the days I've not taken it I've felt horribly and panicky again.

@DGRossetti you say your DW regrets starting but does she also feel like it helped her life? Now I know what not feeling panicky all time feels like I'm not sure how to go back!

@CurseMyTinyThumbs as horrible as this sounds, I would take anything to continue to feel like this. Now I know what it feels like going back doesn't feel like an option but at the time I can't commit in my mid 30s to life of addiction just to feel calm, focused and collected.

Also I've had mild insomnia my whole life and this has totally cured it.

@DGRossetti you say your DW regrets starting but does she also feel like it helped her life? Now I know what not feeling panicky all time feels like I'm not sure how to go back!

It may have helped originally (with muscle spasms due to Multiple Sclerosis). However that's by the by now. Help or not, she is hooked. With the associated brain physiology changes long term use causes (which is why it's so much worse than mere addiction).

It was only discovered she was addicted to it when pregnant with DS, and all the advice was not to take it during pregnancy. Cold turkey damn near killed her and being on clonazepam robbed her of the chance to breastfeed.

Whenever you hear guff being spouted about illegal drugs, it's worth bearing in mind that legal ones ruin lives too.

www.health.harvard.edu/mind-and-mood/benzodiazepines_and_the_alternatives

I think the alternatives are therapy and SSRIs, perhaps with a sleep aid like melatonin. It’s tricky and I do sympathise with you. Good luck

Yeah this is why these drugs are so tempting; they're really good at what they do. But you can end up paying a very high price.

@CurseMyTinyThumbs

Yeah this is why these drugs are so tempting; they're really good at what they do. But you can end up paying a very high price.

It upsets DW to this day. She wasn't warned. No one stopped and said "hang on, we've just been knocking these out for x weeks, x months, x years".

It took years to go from 1.5 micro grammes (not milli, micro) to 1.0, or 3 tablets to 2. But beyond that just can't happen. It seems fine for a few days, sometimes weeks. But eventually the physical withdrawal effects become too much.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Benzodiazepine_withdrawal_syndrome

I’m not a doctor but it sounds like you would benefit from an antidepressant with a sedative effect ( rather than stimulant). Please see your gp and discuss with him - there is help.

They can be helpful… I use them sometimes, but I have an episodic condition so I can use them for the duration of the episode and stop before forming a dependence. But that's partly luck; sometimes people develop a dependence after a really short time.

@OliverBabish

www.health.harvard.edu/mind-and-mood/benzodiazepines_and_the_alternatives

I think the alternatives are therapy and SSRIs, perhaps with a sleep aid like melatonin. It’s tricky and I do sympathise with you. Good luck

Thanks. I've done therapy for over a decade never had effects like this, and I've only had negative effects from SSRIs, unfortunately. I guess I need to find another psychotherapist to try and find another solution. Melatonin isn't that effective for me either, I've taken high doses, I live somewhere where they are easy to buy in the pharmacy.

@CurseMyTinyThumbs

Yeah this is why these drugs are so tempting; they're really good at what they do. But you can end up paying a very high price.

Gosh I'm going to need to have this tattooed on my hand now. It's so seductive feeling balanced and not on edge and anxious

Yeah really seductive — seems so unfair that there's this thing that can make you feel normal but which can cause such harm.

Like I say I'm lucky in that my anxiety/agitation symptoms are episodic (I'm bipolar) so I can use these drugs for relief during an episode, but between episodes not have any reason to want to use them at all. I'm still very wary though — the maximum they'll generally prescribe me of a benzodiazepine is 4 doses a day for two weeks (each dose generally being either 0.5mg clonazepam, 1mg lorazepam, or 5mg diazepam, depending) and that's the absolute furthest I'd push it. Even that's risking dependence.

I used to know a guy hooked on opiates and benzodiazepines. He got off the heroin. Couldn't get off the diazepam. Seeing him try to go through benzo withdrawals was an education.

I used to know a guy hooked on opiates and benzodiazepines. He got off the heroin. Couldn't get off the diazepam. Seeing him try to go through benzo withdrawals was an education.

Now imagine doing that pregnant. Or trying. And then having an agonizing wait (after an offer of an abortion) before delivering a healthy beautiful boy.

If there is a queue for a hatred of benzos and doctors previous tendencies to dish them out like smarties then there's no one in front of me.

@DGRossetti your DW must be strong to have gone through that. I have to say I was prescribed it through a prescribing nurse and didn't even have a chat with doctor about side effects or additive properties. The pharmacist gave me a harder time of it than anyone else but only because he had an issue with my ID.

This thread confirmed my fears. I can't keep taking it and hoping I won't get addicted. I've gone away for a few days and left the pills at home.

@CurseMyTinyThumbs

Yeah really seductive — seems so unfair that there's this thing that can make you feel normal but which can cause such harm.

Like I say I'm lucky in that my anxiety/agitation symptoms are episodic (I'm bipolar) so I can use these drugs for relief during an episode, but between episodes not have any reason to want to use them at all. I'm still very wary though — the maximum they'll generally prescribe me of a benzodiazepine is 4 doses a day for two weeks (each dose generally being either 0.5mg clonazepam, 1mg lorazepam, or 5mg diazepam, depending) and that's the absolute furthest I'd push it. Even that's risking dependence.

I used to know a guy hooked on opiates and benzodiazepines. He got off the heroin. Couldn't get off the diazepam. Seeing him try to go through benzo withdrawals was an education.

That's one of scariest things I've read.

I don't mean to scare you… glad you're taking a break from them, though. It doesn't sound like your healthcare team are particularly on-the-ball about patient education.

@CurseMyTinyThumbs

I don't mean to scare you… glad you're taking a break from them, though. It doesn't sound like your healthcare team are particularly on-the-ball about patient education.

That's a bit unfair. After all it's only been 30 years.

@DGRossetti @CurseMyTinyThumbs I'm sure it won't shock either of you to know I'm in the US

Mm, not… massively surprised. I'm sure parts of the US healthcare system are great, but it does soon from what people say that some parts of it have a very lax approach to benzodiazepines.

What other avenues can you explore — do you have access to affordable therapy?

*does seem

@CurseMyTinyThumbs yes I have access to therapy, but I've done therapy for over a decade and frankly have lost a bit of faith in it, psycho & CBT. I've always been anti meds but PND knocked me for six and I did some sessions and was given the choice of SSRIs and/or clonazepam. I recently left the US for my home country (not the U.K.) so I didn't take choose SSRIs because I know they require time and dose adjustments. I was hoping to not take the clonazepam at all. But after another 3am meltdown DH suggested I take it. It made me feel 1000 times better. So after a few doses, I started looking into it properly and found horror stories about benzo addictions and I figure someone on MN might have or use an alternative which would be a good substitute.

I'm really struggling with motherhood and while therapy has been great in the past I've never been this low. I need more help this time.