Travelling with young children to India

[ElissaG13]

My husband and I recently decided to drop out of society and go travelling with our 3 young children to India, Thailand and Vietnam for 18 months. We have a 7-year-old and 3-year-old twins (they will be 8-years-old and 4-years-old by the time we leave).

I am wondering if anyone has experience of travelling, particularly in India, with young children. We have been to India a couple of times and Thailand and Vietnam as well and are familiar with how it works, but we have never been with kids and we are worried about the obvious safety issues.

The thing about India that concerns me more than Vietnam or Thailand is that they might me frightened about what they see, people getting too close, especially unsavoury street characters approaching/begging etc.

Any insight/advice is greatly appreciated.

Many thanks in advance.

It if you're frightened about safety why on earth are you doing it?

I love India, but I’d never go there with young children, maybe when older.

We did something similar, travelled to Indonesia, Sri Lanka & Myanmar with kids then age 8, 5 and 2. We went to India & Nepal when our eldest was 2.

Not really sure what to say - yes, they will see distressing things, & you need to think about how you will respond.

Lived in India for 3 years for work. Where are you travelling? Tourist areas so goa and kerela are okay and fine.
Also are you kids okay with photos? . If you go off the big tourist areas you will get asked for photos etc esp if little ones are fair haired.
Honestly India is family orientated and loved children but there are health issues depending on season you travel in. Get good travel insurance as health care can be expensive depending where you are

I used to live in India and I've generally found that Indian people (this is obviously a massive generalisation, but I'm talking culturally) are really friendly with children. Being a parent is an important thing and children are generally treasured. I don't think you will generally face issues with people bothering your children in the way you might have experienced harassment, particularly as a single woman travelling there.

Your 3 year olds are too little to understand. You just need to make sure they are able to walk close to you and listen well and can stay safe on busy streets, if you plan to spend time in cities. How will you physically move them about? Will they walk long distances? Will you need a double pushchair? I would imagine that 3 year olds will not walk long distances in the heat.

Your 8 year old is old enough to understand why people might sleep on the street and be asking for money. So I think you need to think about how you'll have that conversation.

Where are you thinking of going and what are you thinking of doing there? You'll probably find it easier to find a place to settle in for a bit rather than travelling from place to place all the time. There are lots of expat communities and homeschooling networks for people who are travelling. There are lots in Goa if that's your cup of tea. I imagine there are also some in the north.

what on earth does ‘dropping out of society’ mean?

I've never known anyone go to India and not get raging D&V. That would worry me more than safety.
Are you backpacking? How will you carry all the stuff?

And what will you do about the 8yo education.
S/he will be 10 when you get home - about to move to secondary school.

I wouldn’t hesitate to take DC to SEA at all but India would be a different matter, even I found it fairly challenging and I’ve done a fair bit of travelling. Personally I would see more SEA countries instead and maybe visit India after they are used to travelling.

Travelling in a global pandemic - are you mad?!

Consider travel insurance in the first instance and whether you can even get it.

@MrsFin

And what will you do about the 8yo education. S/he will be 10 when you get home - about to move to secondary school.

My eldest left school in Y4 to go travelling, came back for Y7. She read a lot & we kept up with the maths curriculum. She is in top sets at secondary school.

Pfffft. Friend went to India for honeymoon with her husband.
Friend grew up in England but has Punjabi heritage, is her first language, her new husband was white. Friend is someone who can talk to anyone in England. They had a son about 2yo.

Friend hated that trip. She felt like everyone was out to fleece them. Nothing felt that fun or safe in public. It was not a relaxed visit to her culture at all that she hoped for.

My mother always said she would never visit India because of the grinding poverty. I could handle terrible poverty or disease in adults but seeing children in poverty suffer: I'm not tough enough for that.

Have you really thought this through ?

You can’t shield your children from the poverty especially in India unless only going to Goa.

I wouldn’t even think of going to India until this pandemic is under far better control than what it is at the moment (we not visiting family in Asia this year and may not next year)

The travelling that many of us have done in SEA and India is a long way off

I think travel is as good an education as any.
But which society are you ‘dropping out of?’
Because presumably you’d still want to be part of the society that offers medical care if your children were sick? Or the bit of society that ensures your plane is safe? Or the bit that replaces your passport and cash if things go missing?
I’ve travelled extensively with small children and you need a network (at home and abroad) more than you need anything else. Whether it’s calling a friend back home to help with forgotten paperwork, or requiring consular assistance, you simply don’t have the option of going it entirely alone.

Also you want to keep on good terms with the bit of society that organises comprehensive travel insurance policies!

Pandemic? I’d be tempted to start in Nepal, much more chilled and will sensitise kids. Spent one Easter weekend in Nepal on a gentle white water rafting trip, a mum had her 7 year old with her, out of school for a year but as a former primary teacher I could see he was seeing first hand bits of the curriculum, rivers etc peers would probably never see. Keep reading, do some maths, they will be fine educationally. Blonde kids may well have people wanting to touch hair which is weird. May be unsettling.

Why are you travelling in the first place? Presumably it is because you want your children to experience different cultures and ways of living. Trying to insist they don’t see the “unsavoury” side of that seems a little bit blinkered.

I e travelled quite often to India from touristy areas to some non tourist areas and remote islands. Never with children.
Having met quite a few travelling families they’ve often said it has been fine other than routine small medical/digestive etc things which for children can be more disruptive. So plans needs to be rethought a bit more, more need for flexibility, real care with medical insurance (anyway) and medication stocks and awareness of where medical facilities might be.
In cities and on transport just the crowds and chaos of many places mean they need to understand no running off etc.
All normal travelling considerations but ramped up.
Good luck. Envious.
Obviously I’m assuming Covid will mean this may be delayed beyond your current plans ?

That's great skeggy and that's what my parents did for me when we lived in NZ for the year before my 11+ (standard 11+ back in the grammar school days of the 70s).

I was just wondering whether the OP had also considered doing this for her 8yo.

Honestly, if you are white and visiting india, you will be put on a pedestal. As another poster has mentioned, going as a brown person you get a different experience at times

Pp you can’t avoid poverty even if you were just to stay in his. I am looking right now at a decades old scar on my arm from a market in Margao where a beggar decided to stroke my arm and scratched me badly. Was upsetting and then embarrassing to try to find somewhere out of everyone’s gaze to wash it down and put some cream on it all without looking like privileged tosser - first trip to India - hadn’t quite got my head around lots of the realities. Still always have antiseptic with me in bag.

Goa not ‘his’.

I travel with my dc. We now just do 6 week trips over the summer holidays now they are in school (when covid doesn't bugger up travel plans).

Things I've learnt are

1. it's worth spending extra money if you can afford it. So take a short internal flight rather than a 12 hour bus journey if you can. Book somewhere to stay that has a swimming pool. Happy kids equals happy me but stressed out, exhausted kids make life 100x more difficult especially when it's hot and humid and you're exhausted too.

2. don't expect them to be overawed by all the wonderful sights they'll be seeing (flashbacks of 4 year old DS pitifully whining not another Chinese temple)

3. we now tend to stay in villas/houses/apartments rather than hotels. They are easy to book online, often cost the same or less than a hotel (especially if you book for a month plus). Our requirements are that they have have air con, WiFi, and a pool.

4. have excellent travel insurance. We haven't needed it in any far flung places but dd needed stitches in France which led to an ambulance trip, missing our eurostar home, extra night in a hotel, etc.

5. Think carefully about how much luggage you'll be taking. It should be less than you think you need. But make sure your first aid kit is a good one.

5)Trunki do backpacks that fit as handluggage, can store toys and a change of clothes inside of them and double up as a car booster seat for your 4 year olds.

I haven't taken my dc to India, but they've travelled around Thailand, Vietnam, Malaysia, Morocco, Cuba, Mexico, etc. Our favourites were Thailand and Mexico.

Have you looked into what India’s covid lockdowns have been like? Ours have been very light touch compared to other countries including India.

I've taken DC to India many times and my only advice is to pick the location rather than the country. India is a big country - South and North East India are similar to Thailand or Vietnam, less chaotic and certainly no begging on your face. Kerala, for example, is very calm and comfortable and a great first destination for small DC. Kerala is well connected to Sri Lanka (half an hour flight) and Maldives (45 minutes flight), so if it were me, I would fly to Kerala and then to Sri Lanka, and then onwards to the rest of Asia. Please avoid the Northern parts of India for their first visit (I would not do that even with my fairly experienced DC).

Actually I find India very friendly towards kids. You can take them anywhere, eat out at restaurants even if they are noisy/fussy and people really care about kids.