Calling people Aunty who are not your aunty

[Snog]

Does this still happen or was it unique to the 1970s?
And did it happen in middle class families or only in working class families?
Did you have aunties who were not actually your aunty?

This was very common in Scotland when I grew up through the 70s and 80s for all classes and ethnic groups. It was partly a mark of respect - as children did not call adults by their first names ( so it was that or Mr x Mrs Y) and partly a signifier of affection/ close friendship. We were blessed with several real aunts and uncles as children but always referred to our parents friends and close neighbours as Auntie and Uncle. It was a good thing I think.
On another track, I remember my aunts and various others continuing to refer to their parents-in-law as Mr and Mrs Jones or whatever even after being married for years.

I may seem rude or intolerant but I remember the way it made me feel as a shy teenager, I was embarrassed and humiliated, I was interested in working out familial links and couldn’t understand why you would call random people a term reserved for blood family.

Yes - I called my mum's close friends aunty in the 1980s. Northern, white British background and not especially middle class. I'm also aunty to my best friend's children.

I've never thought of it being a class thing, just assumed everyone did it. Maybe it's less common these days.

Both my parents were raised to do this, DM white British and DF immigrant from the ME. Likewise me and my siblings raised similarly. I still call old family friends and e.g. my DP's cousins auntie and uncle etc as always have done. DH white British was raised the same. So we are raising our DD similar however perhaps not using them quite as broad. Also we respect that a lot of people don't like this and anyone who doesn't want to be referred as such, we obviously don't do that. E.g. we both always addressed our DPs cousins as auntie's and uncles however our cousins are all boys younger than us aged from 17+ and none of them want to be called uncle, so that's fine, we obviously just refer to them as their names to DD.

I am not born in UK and grew up in Eastern Europe. As a child, I called all my parents' friends, the parents of my friends and also the neighbours "Aunty X" and "Uncle Y" .

I never called my real uncles and aunts "uncle" or "aunty" , only called them by name. My parents were both "older siblings" in their family so their siblings were about 14-16 years older than me; however, their own children always called my parents "aunty" and "uncle", as they were much older than their own parents.

I was brought up calling neighbours Aunty, my mum's sisters were also called aunty but my dad's brothers we just used their first names, possibly because there is an age gap so my uncles are quite a bit younger than my dad.

I think it has changed over the years - my DS only calls one friend Auntie - but she is older than both his grandmothers. Whereas for me growing up it was anyone the same age as my parents.

However he knows it's considered respectful to do so to my black and Asian friends and so he does say it to them, even though he calls my other friends by their first name. I don't think I'd insist on it, but since he hears me so it to their mothers, then he just follows on.

Yep, happened in mine as a young child in the 80s. Lower middle class family. White. Although I have heard it also a thing in some Asian or African cultures.

I didn’t growing up and didn’t know anyone who did. However I’ve noticed a couple of close friends do get their kids to use it to me, because they have tiny families so no real aunts or uncles. So while I’m not mad about it It’s quite sweet. As they get older it will get dropped.

I have a best friend who I consider a sister and our families have spent so much time together holidays etc. I’ve always called her aunty x to my children they know she’s not a blood aunty but an honorific aunty
Honestly sometimes these aunties are more loving and involved than actual aunties.

I have one, she's my Grans best friend, they've been friends for nearly 70 years so I suspects she became Aunty Flo when my dad and Aunt were small but it's continued as me and my cousin and now our children all call her Aunty Flo. She doesn't have any family of her own and has been widowed for about 20 years so she's family in all but blood to us. I've never called my friends parents aunty and have been referring to my actual aunty by just their first name since my late teens.

Oh yes (born in the 60s). My brother was told off by our mum for calling one of her friends by her first name, rather than Aunty X. He was early 20s at the time!

When I was little (1979s) we called my parents friends Aunty and Uncle.

My (adult) son has a really good friend who always calls me Aunty's Emma. It feels slightly strange but he won't call me by just my first name.

I also have a neighbour who has a 3 year old daughter, and neighbour refers to me as Aunty Emma when talking to her daughter. They are of Indian heritage and I think that impacts on it.

My son's godmother is Welsh and refers to herself as Aunty when in correspondence with him.

I had a few fake aunties in the 80s. I have one friend who prefers my dc to call her Auntie so-and-so. I know this is a cultural respect thing for her. My dc call her Auntie but it's inconsistently. It feels a little forced.

This is very normal in many Asian cultures

Yup. This is very common in many African & Caribbean cultures.

I find it charming. Some of our Caribbean patients call us 'Auntie' on reception. Either that or Nurse!

Often when this is talked about you will get people confidently saying "we do because we are Asian", "its a West-Indian thing", "its a term of respect in African commuties", "Its a Northern England thing". Basically all over the world, it is important to have a word that implies respect and/or afection for a woman who is not your mother and may/may not be related to you. Although not everyone uses it/needs it, I think it is linguistically quite important.

3 of my close friend's kids call me auntie even though they're now well into their teens. I'm godparent to 2 of them. Ironically my nephews rarely use auntie, they just call me by my first name, even though the rest of the family refer to me as auntie when talking to them!