Shall I split DDs inheritance of baby 2 comes along?

[AliceTheCamelHasFiveHumps]

DD is about to inherit £10,000 from my Dad.

All grandchildren were left the same amount.

We are trying for a second child. It's IVF and we have only one chance. If second child does come along. Do you think I should split DDs inheritance with her?

@Hoppythehippo

And I don’t buy “such and such would have wanted it” arguments for the most part when people die intestate or with very out of date wills. If they cared that much about it they’d have an up to date will that specified it.

Well, me, DBro and DSis all completely agree that the money is going to Grandkids.

There's no debate. None of is want the money. Not even slightly. There's no questions about his wishes. None.

The question is, do I split DDs £10k between her and a potential sibling if they come along.

The massive dripfeed makes everything completely different.

You will inherit 1/3 of your Dad's estate.
If you think that your Dad would have wanted his money to be shared between his Grandchildren, then you can choose to do that with your share of the money. So splitting your share between your two.

If your siblings are so keen to do what they perceive to be the "right" thing, that they "think" your Dad would have wanted, rather than the legal division of the money, then they are also likely to agree that your Dad would have wanted it sharing between all his Grandchildren, whatever their ages.

Of course, if I've read this correctly, it is all a bit hypothetical anyway.

@Marmight

So there is you, your DB and DS? Under intestacy rules you would get one third each of £50k to do what you want with. £16.67k So you are actually giving away £6.67k of your inheritance so that all 5 GC's get £10k each. How is that fair? The fairest way is for you, your DB and DS to take your £16.67k each and divy it up to your own DC as you see fit. This way any unborn GC could get something.

I agree with this. Don't give away your inheritance to your nieces /nephews at the expense of a future child of your own.

I hope this makes you think seriously about making your own will. It stops any doubt about who gets what.

So this was just a loose arrangement where your dad wanted his grandkids to inherit, not specific one's he knew well? In that case I would split it, yes. You inherited a third of his money and then split it between your kids. I really don't understand why people think that's unacceptable, I don't know if I've missed something but it doesn't sound like your dad wanted it to go to your daughter, specifically. Surely he would like the thought of having helped out all his grandchildren?

I'm assuming there are 3 children, 2 that have 2 children and you with just the one currently. So you're giving part of your share away to top up the other grandchildren's share?

You really should be explaining to your siblings that you're going to try for another and would like them to also be part of the split. Even if you say if the IVF isn't successful you'll split it back between the other grandchildren.

It might sound dramatic but after 18 years of interest £8.5k could be the difference between your second child going to university or buying a house. Are you really willing to potentially take those opportunities from your own child for the sake of an extra £1.5k to their cousins?

Sorry posted too soon, meant to say - split £5000 per child to do as they wish then top up the rest. Or make up the difference for the other child,

I'll tell you what you shouldn't do... make up the difference in subsidies. I.e. pay for uni fees/car for one child but not the other.
Reason being the money is for your children to spend as they wish. If they got the same amount then you'd be buying them the same stuff... you should not decide for them 'what' they should be spending on..

Well no it's her inheritance. FIL left DD 20K when he died.
She's an only child, but even if she wasn't, it's hers, end of.
Why don't you start saving so your other child has the same in years to come.

@Hoppythehippo

That’s a pretty epic drip feed!

I would never have agreed to the “each grandchild gets £10k split” in the first place in your circumstances, knowing you plan to try for another child. I’d have split everything three ways as legally specified and then let each parent deal with their own children as they see fit. You’ve painted yourself into an impossible corner now because I think any way you do it from here on, if you have another baby, either DC1 or DC2 would have a legitimate grievance.

Well, i did agree and still do agree with the 5 way split.

Even if that means by splitting it again my kids have less than their cousins. I really couldn't give a shit about the money, or getting fair shares for my future kids or any of that. No amount of money is bringing dad back. And if he hadn't have said he wanted it to go to the GKs, it would have been donated to the RNLI.

It might be hard to believe, but none of us siblings want this money for our selves.

Yes I think you should.

Having read your subsequent posts OP I'm baffled why this is even a debate. Your dad didnt have a will. He told you all that he would like the gc to get money. Your dd was 1 day old when he died so sadly didnt have a relationship with him.

Essentially you are inheriting and I think it would be really odd/unkind to only give one of your DC some of your dad's money.

Why are you so intent on them having equal shares? It’s pretty normal for it to go to children who then do what they want with it. If you died tomorrow that’s your DDs money so IMO you’re already ‘cheating’ her out of £7k. And if you have another child, like everything else she would have to share it 50:50. Did your dad say that’s what he wanted (the £10K split)?

augustusglupe could be worth reading the thread.

Don't rely on 18 years of interest giving a decent house deposit or uni funding either.
Be sensible and put it in a Junior ISA invested in stocks and shares so that you at least get some decent growth.

OP, you can't argue with the initial point that @Viviennemary made (ie it's illegal) when it was based on your initial post. Based on your initial post you would be taking your daughters money which is illegal.

Your updated post was less of a "dripfeed" and more completely changing your story. Obviously @Viviennemary wouldn't have said it was illegal if you had set out the facts correctly.

Having read the full thread I'd speak to my siblings - ask if any of them are planning for more children and explain that I was (and with the IVF situation I'd say there is a finite date on it) and that would it be possible to hold off splitting the money between the grandchildren until we knew how many grandchildren there were going to be, so if you are the only one planning more children then split it so each existing grandchild has £8300 now, if you don't by a certain date another then each current grandchild has an extra £1700 paid into their account.

Once it goes into your daughters account you can't take it back

Well either it’s an “inheritance” in all but the strictly legal sense in which case no you don’t because it’s DC1s. This seems to be your position. It’s defensible, albeit I’d want to even it up to hypothetical DC2 either with my own money or in my own will in due course.

Or it’s a gift from you/your siblings in which case yes you do split it because you treat both your children equally. But in that scenario I’d not talk about it to your children as an inheritance because if it was an inheritance it would have belonged to DC1.

@zzzebra

I'm assuming there are 3 children, 2 that have 2 children and you with just the one currently. So you're giving part of your share away to top up the other grandchildren's share?

You really should be explaining to your siblings that you're going to try for another and would like them to also be part of the split. Even if you say if the IVF isn't successful you'll split it back between the other grandchildren.

It might sound dramatic but after 18 years of interest £8.5k could be the difference between your second child going to university or buying a house. Are you really willing to potentially take those opportunities from your own child for the sake of an extra £1.5k to their cousins?

I wouldn't ask for the money to be split equally 6 ways.

My nieces and nephews are 15, 17,17 and 18. They have plans for their money. Let's assume they spend it all by the time they're 18. So, in some ways my DD is having an advantage by having it invested/saved for 15+ more years.

There is absolutely no question about the 5 way split. It's happening. No 6 way. No 3 way and parents give to their kids etc each child will receive £10k into their bank account.

The only question is whether the £10k going to my daughter should be split again if we have another child.

@Redjumper1

OP, you can't argue with the initial point that *@Viviennemary* made (ie it's illegal) when it was based on your initial post. Based on your initial post you would be taking your daughters money which is illegal.

Your updated post was less of a "dripfeed" and more completely changing your story. Obviously @Viviennemary wouldn't have said it was illegal if you had set out the facts correctly.

I'm sorry about that. It's just because all refer to it as the GKs inheritance. My mistake.

OP do you think your DF would want you to split the 10k?

If your child is still a minor and is named as a beneficiary in the will, they may not be able to inherit this legacy until they have reached the age of 18. Until then, it would need to be held in trust.

I would want the siblings to be equal. I think you can have an honest discussion and say the potential inequality between this and another child has be weighing on you and sound out whether they’d be willing to calculate on the basis of there being another child.

Given the basis of the split (ie it’s yours and no will), if you end up with £10k I would split between your children. It was never their inheritance officially and I’d rather have parity between siblings than cousins.

Op, honestly the drip feed about no will makes all discussion pointless.

Do what you want with your share.

@iolaus

Having read the full thread I'd speak to my siblings - ask if any of them are planning for more children and explain that I was (and with the IVF situation I'd say there is a finite date on it) and that would it be possible to hold off splitting the money between the grandchildren until we knew how many grandchildren there were going to be, so if you are the only one planning more children then split it so each existing grandchild has £8300 now, if you don't by a certain date another then each current grandchild has an extra £1700 paid into their account.

Once it goes into your daughters account you can't take it back

Sweet Jesus, would you really??

It's a ridiculous thread, tbh. The "drip feed" was the fundamental point, there was no logical reason to leave it out

Are you inheriting anything? I'd give your new baby the same from that but not deprive your DD.

I know it's unlikely but I've just inherited some letters my Nan sent her cousin. It had allsorts of information in it and I am so pleased my parents never lied to me about what happened. I learned a lot more detail through the letters but nothing new,.so to.speak. I was thinking after, how would I feel now if my parents had lied.

Same with this, if your DD were ever to find out. Her trust in you would diminish.